Good things to remember

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by JNB, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. JNB macrumors 604

    JNB

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2004
    Location:
    In a Hell predominately of my own making
    #1
    Found these on another forum I frequent. True, and good for a chuckle.

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

    8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

    12. Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

    13. Some people are like Slinkys. They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
     
  2. Melrose Suspended

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    #2
    lol. Some of those are pretty practical indeed..
     
  3. SkyBell macrumors 604

    SkyBell

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    Location:
    Texas, unfortunately.
  4. ZiggyPastorius macrumors 68040

    ZiggyPastorius

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    Berklee College of Music
  5. chainprayer macrumors 6502a

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  6. todd2000 macrumors 68000

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    Nov 14, 2005
    Location:
    Danville, VA
    #6
    I've always liked #8, so I made it my Signature. :)
     
  7. Iscariot macrumors 68030

    Iscariot

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    Toronteazy
  8. todd2000 macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Location:
    Danville, VA
    #8
    Huh? :confused: Did you mix up your threads? :)
     
  9. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #9
    Details please. :D
     
  10. Melrose Suspended

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    #10
    You never know when you'll have to wait longer than usual. When you have the opportunity to pee, pee. My aunt learned this the hard way in her travels to Europe.
     
  11. SkyBell macrumors 604

    SkyBell

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Location:
    Texas, unfortunately.
    #11
    When you travel a lot like I do, you learn pretty quickly that when you see a a bathroom, use it, because it could be a very long time until the next one.

     
  12. LumbermanSVO macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2007
    Location:
    Denton, TX
    #12
    I have a simple rule: When the truck stops, pee. If you think you might have to poo, then try.
     
  13. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #13
    Absolutely it is ! When ever we stop i go. Nothing worse then riding with a full bladder
     

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