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Good ways to make friends in a strange new city?

WarHeadz

WarHeadz

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Aug 30, 2015
904
5,193
Long Beach, California
I just recently moved across the country to Los Angeles from suburban New Jersey for a job. Everything is going pretty well for me here, job is going great and I'm certainly enjoying the weather. One major downside is that I have only one friend here who I try to see once a week, other than him I'm starting to feel pretty lonely. Some days even a little depressed. I work 6 days a week with only Sundays off, which leaves me with very little time to do things. It would be nice to have someone to hit the beach with on Sundays. If it weren't for my dog being here with me, the loneliness would have driven me nuts by now, but I'm getting there.

So my question to you guys: what are some ways to start building a network of friends from scratch? I've never really faced a situation like this in my 27 years of life, so I feel like a headless chicken right now. Ideas?
 
Ahh, it's always a toughie. I'd probably start by seeing if you can go for a drink or two with some of your work colleagues one evening, or pool, or a poker night. Something like that.

At the very least it'll be a little less lonely some evenings, you'd get a little closer with them, or they might bring along some of their circle of friends who you can get to know too. :)
 
keysofanxiety said:
Ahh, it's always a toughie. I'd probably start by seeing if you can go for a drink or two with some of your work colleagues one evening, or pool, or a poker night. Something like that.

At the very least it'll be a little less lonely some evenings, you'd get a little closer with them, or they might bring along some of their circle of friends who you can get to know too. :)
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Yeah, that's the thing. I don't have co-workers. I work in a small business and basically run this store by myself, 52 hours a week. That makes it even more challenging and magnifies the loneliness because I have no one to talk to all day.
 
WarHeadz said:
Yeah, that's the thing. I don't have co-workers. I work in a small business and basically run this store by myself, 52 hours a week. That makes it even more challenging and magnifies the loneliness because I have no one to talk to all day.
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Awwh man. :( :(
 
WarHeadz said:
Yeah, that's the thing. I don't have co-workers. I work in a small business and basically run this store by myself, 52 hours a week. That makes it even more challenging and magnifies the loneliness because I have no one to talk to all day.
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There's no customers that visit your store?
What kind of business (I'm just curious)?
 
WarHeadz said:
Yeah, that's the thing. I don't have co-workers. I work in a small business and basically run this store by myself, 52 hours a week. That makes it even more challenging and magnifies the loneliness because I have no one to talk to all day.
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Any hobbies? Try meeting up with like minded people in your area. Local groups should have a FB page.
 
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Go to the grocery store! I saw a post that you like the Amazon deliveries, but you need to get out where there are actually people, not just a delivery person! In my youth Wednesday nights at the grocery were the 'meet and greet' nights lol....
 
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DeltaMac said:
There's no customers that visit your store?
What kind of business (I'm just curious)?
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It's an electronic repair shop. There's customers but they usually don't hang around long enough to make friends with. And most of them are outside of my age demographic.
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noisycats said:
Check out meetup. Tons of groups of every conceivable variety.
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Yep you're actually the second person to recommend that site. I'm absolutely going to check it out today.
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keysofanxiety said:
Awwh man. :( :(
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Yeah man, brutal.
[doublepost=1489525735][/doublepost]
Apple fanboy said:
Any hobbies? Try meeting up with like minded people in your area. Local groups should have a FB page.
Click to expand...
I've always been terrible with hobbies. I'm a techie and I work in a tech repair shop. So my main hobby basically occupies my entire work day. Now that I'm in California it would be pretty cool to learn to surf!
 
Common interests is generally a good way to create new friendships.

I met my girlfriend at the pool, we both swam daily for exercise. Eventually we got to know each other and have been together for years.

Whatever your interests, try a to find a club, group, or class. If you can't find anything appropriate- maybe try something new- something you've been interested or perhaps something random. Kayaking, archery, knitting, a book club, painting It's an opportunity to meet new people and keep yourself occupied. Trying new things helps combat depression too (which can be common with moving).

Also, check to see if any old friends or classmates are now in your area. Or if any friends have local friends they could introduce you to. Introducing yourself to neighbors is another way to form relationships. I know a lot of towns have newcomer organizations to help introduce you to the community.

The simple fact is if you wait to people to come out and befriend you you'll probably be waiting a long time, especially if you have such little consistent social interaction. You have to put yourself out there and be outgoing.

Relocation is tough, but with some patience and effort you'll be set.
 
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My daughter is just a little older than you. She meets people the old fashioned way - at bars. She goes to watch sports - she is a big sports fan. She's made some friends just from that, and then met friends of their friends.
 
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I tend to network through places like Facebook. That and I'm very open to starting a conversation with someone at a restaurant, local business, etc. Then I'll add them into my Facebook and I'll get to know others through them. There are many ways like going to bars as commented above. Perhaps you can invite your one friend and tell them to invite a few of their friends to go out to eat or do something recreational?
 
I found that doing martial arts, I met some pretty incredible people, and you get skills that help you in life.
 
Ah, very nice. LA has some pretty cool places to go, we live in Long Beach and go to LA quite often. I don't know if you would like some pretty cool spots to go to, let me know know and I can send you a list etc.
 
Ok, here you go!

Wurstkuche: German Sausage and Imported Beers on Tap. They have the long tables where groups of people sit. Great place and great food.
The Edison: Killer bar and great food (prior to turning over to the bar).
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar - Name says it all. The place has a really good vibe and is usually pretty packed. Great spot.
The Mayan - Salsa Dancing and night club. You can also check their schedule as they have Mexican Style wrestling shows that go on also. (LuchaVaVoom Wrestling)
Biking through LA - This is a pretty cool event where they shut down certain streets of LA and you get to bike through it. They have various restaurants, bars, and shopping that you can go to throughout the event. They also have an open air event at the end of the ride. Good stuff. Lots of people.
Any of the places near the Staple Center
- Yard House
- Tom's Urban (bloody mary's are really good)
- Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, sorry can't remember the exact name. But the place has a nice bar and usually has a lot of folks in it.
- The Mixing Room, I haven't been to this one in a while, but it was cool when I went.
- Triple 8, not to bad, usually has the younger crowd (21-25).
Philippe The Original - Excellent French Dip sandwich! No really it is that good.
Right next door to Philippe's is Alvarado street which has some of the best street Mexican food you can find. The taquito place right on the corner (can't miss it due to the line) are to die for. They are super good!
Langer's. Order the 19.
Wexler's Deli - Pastrami sandwich. Big ole thumbs up
The Oinkster - Pulled Pork. Oh dear god take me now!
King Torta - More of an ELA location, but good god almighty.

That is all I can think of off the top........ IF there is something specific you are looking for let me know. Like I said, if we don't go someplace local (Long Beach) then we are traveling to LA and the surrounding area.
 
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I go to fitness classes 3 or 4 times a week. As well as getting fit, I meet the same people (it probably helps that it's a tiny gym, with no more than 300 members, only about 50 of whom go to classes), so it's been easy enough to start a conversation, and I've even been out drinking with them a few times.

For someone with Aspergers and social anxiety, that's a huge achievement. If I can do it, I'm sure you can!
 
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rhett7660 said:
Ok, here you go!

Wurstkuche: German Sausage and Imported Beers on Tap. They have the long tables where groups of people sit. Great place and great food.
The Edison: Killer bar and great food (prior to turning over to the bar).
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar - Name says it all. The place has a really good vibe and is usually pretty packed. Great spot.
The Mayan - Salsa Dancing and night club. You can also check their schedule as they have Mexican Style wrestling shows that go on also. (LuchaVaVoom Wrestling)
Biking through LA - This is a pretty cool event where they shut down certain streets of LA and you get to bike through it. They have various restaurants, bars, and shopping that you can go to throughout the event. They also have an open air event at the end of the ride. Good stuff. Lots of people.
Any of the places near the Staple Center
- Yard House
- Tom's Urban (bloody mary's are really good)
- Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, sorry can't remember the exact name. But the place has a nice bar and usually has a lot of folks in it.
- The Mixing Room, I haven't been to this one in a while, but it was cool when I went.
- Triple 8, not to bad, usually has the younger crowd (21-25).
Philippe The Original - Excellent French Dip sandwich! No really it is that good.
Right next door to Philippe's is Alvarado street which has some of the best street Mexican food you can find. The taquito place right on the corner (can't miss it due to the line) are to die for. They are super good!
Langer's. Order the 19.
Wexler's Deli - Pastrami sandwich. Big ole thumbs up
The Oinkster - Pulled Pork. Oh dear god take me now!
King Torta - More of an ELA location, but good god almighty.

That is all I can think of off the top........ IF there is something specific you are looking for let me know. Like I said, if we don't go someplace local (Long Beach) then we are traveling to LA and the surrounding area.
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Wonderful, thanks a lot!
 
Any watersports based activity has a real sense of community about it in my experience. You're lucky that you're right by the ocean. Surfing is a great idea and you should get on the phone and book a class today, although check out other activities too. Diving in particular encourages the group vibe, so it's really easy to meet lots of new people without needing to be committed to a team schedule as with some activities (rowing, I'm looking at you :D ).

Whatever you choose, it's all about meeting as many people as possible. Even if most you only see once then never again you will find some people that stick, and once you've met one or two you click with they will introduce you to their social circle etc.

Best of luck.
 
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