grrr....

[haiggy]

It sounds as if you are married to the girl... get her away from you as possible. Man, what a drag that must be. So much time and energy wasted... and for nothing. Get rid of her before she keeps angering you and make you have to go on meds like her.

 

[iBlue]

i have sympathy and understanding for mental illness. don't let my blunt ended words fool you. BUT, i don't have a lot of love for serious personality shortcomings or people who mistreat their friends.

i think someone who can go to concerts and hang with friends at random and has the nerve to ask for food, money, etc and complains when it arrives is not that hard up with mental illness. i've had quite a bit of experience with mental illness, this girl appears not to have it that bad or she wouldn't be leaving the house at all, anxiety makes you do weird things but it doesn't make you a jerk-off in most cases.

a very good friend of mine has bi-polar disorder and i take a lot of crap from her but that is just her illness - her personality is otherwise cool. i accept that she has a very very dark side (to put it midly and briefly) and a very edgy and hyper side (calls at 3am like it's an ordinary thing, etc) that's her, but she doesn't demand that i do things for her and treat me badly when i do. know what i mean? i think that was the difference in my mind with this girl. it sounded more like she had an attitude problem than anything else. i hate to think of vniow [or anyone] being taken for granted i guess.

 

[vniow]

But unless you're prepared for the possibility of seeing her mugshot staring out at you from the news having been raped or murdered or finding her living in a doorway in months to come, please try to help her find somewhere to go.

I will, she'll probably end up staying with her mom or something. They don't get along too well but its better than being on the street I suppose. She has a couple other friends she may be able to stay with as well but I'm unsure. I'll see her later tonight so I'll know more then. Right now I just need some space.

 

[XNine]

But unless you're prepared for the possibility of seeing her mugshot staring out at you from the news having been raped or murdered or finding her living in a doorway in months to come, please try to help her find somewhere to go.

That is a rather large responsibility, and guilt trip, to put on someone. Sure, the girl has mental problems. I'm not sure what the actual figures are, but I believe it's somewhere in the range of 1 in 5 people have some time of "chemical imbalance" or disability, no matter how minor or severe.

It's called Stability. If this girl cannot reach stability by herself she should not be out on the street in the first place. It's called an asylum. If she can achieve stability by herself, fine. But VNIOW should not have to shoulder this responsibility. VNIOW is not this girl's mother, or legal guardian, and therefor should not have to bear this cross. It isn't fair.

I have TONS of experience with people with mental instabilities, and no, it's not fun. My eldest nephew has been through more hell than you can imagine. He's 13 now, and has the ability to stabalize himself, by adjusting his behavior and accepting responsibility. When he says "so and so made me do it" I tell hime: "********, they didn't hold a gun to your head. You did it on your own. The only thing you can control in life is YOURSELF."

Sorry, but VNIOW should not have to go through her life acting as this chick's mother. Period.

 

[Motley]

You put up with all that and paid for a trip to Disneyland and concerts?

Will you be my friend?

To last as long as you did you must have been a saint. I wouldn't have made it a fraction of what you did (so thanks for making me feel like a jerk )

Best I can say is I if you get another roommate I hope you have better luck.

 

[vniow]

She came back last night and we had a long talk, I was angry and stressed out, she was upset and sad and also stressed out but for the most part there was little yelling, little voice-raising and overall things went pretty calmly.

Its gonna be a long three weeks.

 

[clayj]

She came back last night and we had a long talk, I was angry and stressed out, she was upset and sad and also stressed out but for the most part there was little yelling, little voice-raising and overall things went pretty calmly.

Its gonna be a long three weeks.

It's three weeks until she moves out/you're no longer cohabitating?

If so, lock down your stuff. (Not saying she's a thief, but given what you've told us, it seems possible that some of your personal property might be liquidated if you're not careful.)

 

[vniow]

Not too concerned about that I think, she's not the type where I have to be worried about my stuff. I now have until the 1st of February to look for a new place to go. Fortunately I don't have that much stuff to take with me, I'm pretty minimalist and it only took a couple trips in my wagon the last time I moved.

*sigh*