Any good stories or personal experiences here?
I am in long term and sustained recovery from alcoholism since 1978. Mainly what I can offer by way of help is just that a sustainable recovery from any addiction seems to take willingness to stay engaged with other people who, if they are "professionals" do really understand addiction... and otherwise hang out with at least a few other people who are also in long term recovery themselves.
As active addicts in the past, we have been pretty unreliable narrators of our own capabilities, desires, intentions and even accomplishments, right? Otherwise how did we end up in trouble again after deciding ok this is not for me, I'm swearing off it...
We may tend to blame ourselves for stuff that's not our fault, but we don't take responsibility for what really is on us. And we might say "Well if you had a boss / spouse / parent / kid like mine..." etc. Any excuse will do when we're about to give up on ourselves one more time and invite active addiction back into the room for another round of self-destruction.
Right, so none of those patterns just goes away when we do quit actively feeding an addiction. They linger and need attention and awareness of their somehow sneaking back into action again. It was suggested to me that I always --like every day-- treat my sobriety, my freedom from my formerly active addiction, as if that freedom is very very fragile, in order to make it strong and not become a gift just taken for granted.
I was helped to attain and then learn how to retain freedom from active addiction to alcohol by a counselor at an employee assistance program, a psychiatrist and a whole bunch of people in 12-step programs, both Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous.
The message there for me is that total self reliance in addiction treatment seems very risky. We were experts as active addicts at kidding ourselves, right? I sure was.
Left to our own devices in early recovery, we may start figuring we have beat the addiction and then someday it may suddenly seem like the sidewalks run right up to a palatial pile of whatever it is we're addicted to using or doing. Or it may seem like just one dip back into the old life is no big deal. That's BS but we might need help to remember that.
Last summer I celebrated 40 years of being, as we say, "one drink away" from my active addiction to alcohol. I don't "manage my non-drinking". I just don't drink today, and I don't put that on autopilot, it's a moment spent every day as a simple but conscious decision, and in gratitude that I have been helped by so many people to remember it's important to me to not use alcohol. I have said so... and they'd be willing to remind me of that if I faltered and started acting like I did not really value my freedom from active addiction.
Even the other addicts I've subsequently tried to help myself, people who asked for help but then fell away to ruin or who are dead now have helped me. It's much more fun thinking about the recoveries of some of those who believe I have played a part in their new lives, but the lost souls have left an impression on me that is just as indelible.
Anyone can recover... but not everyone does. We have choices that are important to make consciously each day, to put us among those who do achieve long term recovery.
I wish you good fortune ahead. I'd say forget trying to beat addiction, just mind the pitfalls of a potential relapse -- "people, places, things" that can lead back to active addiction-- and celebrate with others now and then the joy of freedom from it instead. It makes it easier to turn down opportunities to throw all that away when some random chance to do so turns up yet again. Pick up the phone before that happens and talk it over with someone who understands where you are coming from.
It's not great to wrestle with this stuff by ourselves, because that old unreliable narrator in our own head is not on our side in a situation like that
Reach out to someone you've shared happiness with over being free of the active addiction. That person in a good space is a reliable story teller. He or she will remind you then of what you said you wanted from a life that was free of what you may sometimes struggle to leave behind for one more day or hour. We all have moments of vulnerability, but they don't have to mean that we throw our freedom away just because we wish we could handle everything without help from another human being. Again, the best of luck to you going forward.