Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by canuhandlethis8, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. canuhandlethis8 macrumors member

    Sep 12, 2009
    So my girlfriend of 1 year and a half decided to send me a text message today saying that her life has become to busy lifestyle due to school and her internship, and she think it's would be better if we went our separate ways. I am for sure heartbroken, she was a great girlfriend who never failed to make me happy. We shared a common bond for baseball, and had the same sense of humor. Never have I felt so heartbroken over a girl before. I wish I knew what was going though her head, and if her "text breaking up with my ass" is her way of showing she's hurting too?! I'm at loss

    Thanks guys

    ~Confused and heartbroke
  2. Zombie Acorn macrumors 65816

    Zombie Acorn

    Feb 2, 2009
    Toronto, Ontario
    Thats her way of saying she found another guy. Women can be bitches like that. :D Did your communications start to dwindle and then you started getting paranoid sending her 50 texts a day?
  3. Ivan P macrumors 68030

    Ivan P

    Jan 17, 2008
    I know how you feel :( Back in June my partner of almost two years dumped me via text, and it was about a month later I found out he'd cheated on me and decided the other person was "better" (in my case, it was because they lived closer to him then I did :rolleyes: ). I, personally - and this may hurt - think that the 'text dumping' thing is because there's another guy involved somewhere. I think that people always take talking in person, or even talking on the phone, as being more heartfelt and easier to get upset with and question a decision. Text, meanwhile, seems a lot more informal, and in these situations I've always taken it as being someone not wanting to bother clearing things up and thinking it's acceptable to just push something/someone away because they're too lazy to have a proper talk. Basically, they don't want any accusations and much less don't want the other person to find out about anything unacceptable that may be happening, so they're trying to 'dispose' of it as quickly as possible. That's exactly what happened to me, and when I found out they'd been cheating they were too gutless to even pick up their phone and admit it - I merely got a "yep, goodbye" in a text message. Because they can't see the pain you're in, they'll feel as if they've done nothing wrong - they try and avoid knowing how you're feeling because they know they screwed up. "Out of sight, out of mind".

    That's my opinion anyway...
  4. jecapaga macrumors 601


    Jul 1, 2007
    Southern California
    Did she literally text, "I'm breaking up with your ass". ?
  5. diddy macrumors 6502

    May 13, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Sucks, but probably true. Go have some fun, see some friends, and try to keep in mind all the things in your life that don't suck at the moment.

    If she's the kind of chick who's so detached she can't be bothered to talk to you in person about something like this, then forget her. You can do better.
  6. yojitani macrumors 68000


    Apr 28, 2005
    An octopus's garden
    Moving on is the best advice. If she's confused or is genuinely too busy, it is unlikely that she'd make an ideal partner anyway. If she's being deceptive, then you don't want the added heartache of finding out about it. She's doing you a favor one way or the other... or so it appears to me.
  7. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Oct 9, 2006
    I think it is pretty poor to break up that way. It should be face to face if all possible and if not AT LEAST over the phone.

    Texting is pretty low. I though an Email break up was bad but texting is worse.

    At least be glad it is not as bad as what happen to a friend of mine. She gets a text from her boy friend who tells her to check her email and it was important. Well her internet connection was shot and she was on the phone with me. She ask me to check it for her. I log in to her email and started reading it..... Let me tell you I got about 1 line into it and knew it was a bad idea. I read her break up email to her. That was on the phone until 4 AM that night....

    But still texting. Sorry if you been dating for over a month face to face is the only way. If she text you then she does not deserve you.
  8. mscriv macrumors 601


    Aug 14, 2008
    Dallas, Texas
    I'm sorry for your loss. Getting over a relationship is not easy especially when you thought everything was going well and the other person blindsides you. I know you are reeling right now and all the "don't worry and just move on" won't help at this point in the grieving process.

    The best thing I can tell you is don't break crazy. This happened to me in college with a girl that I was ready to marry. I lost it and unfortunately broke crazy. You know what I'm talking about the whole "why, why, why" thing. I called her, talked friends ears off about it, tried to get information on who and what she was doing, etc. etc. etc.. No matter how bad you want to do these things and no matter how bad you want to understand; just stop, make it a clean break, and put yourself on lockdown. The only thing worse than getting dumped is turning into "that guy" who can't get over it.

    I'll try to make you smile/laugh by telling you one of the things that happened to me. A few weeks after she ended it I called a female friend who lived in the dorms because I was feeling down and wanted to talk to someone about it. Her answering machine picked up and I left this horrible, sappy, woe is me message about how I was devastated and what did I do wrong etc. etc. .... Well, a couple of hours later the friend calls me back and the first thing she says is "I'm so sorry about what just happened."

    She proceeds to explain that she does not use the school's provided private voice mail system, but a personal answering machine that she brought from home. You know the kind that uses tapes and has a speaker so that your message plays out loud for anyone and everyone to hear. Yeah... well "when you called I obviously wasn't here, but your ex was visiting my roommate and they overheard your entire message as you left it". :eek:

    Call it what you want, epic fail, living in loserville, or simply being a moron. The point is don't do what I did, work through your grief privately as best you can and maintain your self respect in the process.
  9. arkitect macrumors 603


    Sep 5, 2005
    Bath, United Kingdom
    Whatever happened to "manning up" and facing the music in person?

    Mind you, OP, it could have been worse… she could have done it via FaceBook. :eek:
  10. cwedl macrumors 65816


    Jun 5, 2003
    Dude it sucks,

    the best thing you can do is have space from her. Don't contact her.. it may be hard but after a while it will get easier!
  11. NC MacGuy macrumors 603

    NC MacGuy

    Feb 9, 2005
    The good side of the grass.
    Text shmext. I came home once after a nice business trip with a letter from a lawyer taped to my front door with separation/divorce papers enclosed. Don't know if I could say hearbroken, but definitely a potential butthurt since my wallet does reside in my back pocket.

    Hahh. 1 year, 2 year, 3 year... Try 22 years.:eek:
    Hell, it only felt like 50.

    It's a girlfriend, thank your lucky stars you didn't marry the bitch.
  12. CylonGlitch macrumors 68030


    Jul 7, 2009
    Damn, that sucks. Did you at least get to where your kids are grown so you don't have to pay child support?

    Yeah, I lost several girlfriends after 2 to 4 years -- **** happens, you get over it. But try to take it like a man, be polite, honest, and support the break up (then go bang whatever you can to get over it). But years down the line, you'll feel better about yourself if you let her go gently, and the times you had will still be good times.
  13. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem


    Feb 19, 2005
  14. iOrlando macrumors 68000

    Jul 20, 2008

    If they did a study about the true reasons people break up..i would bet the biggest reason is they either were cheating, or beginning to get interested in someone else..etc..

    Who just breaks up with someone out of the blue and then proceeds to not actually date or see someone? If people are truly busy..they probably are too self-absorbed to actually think...oh i feel so sorry for you that you dont get to see me..we should break up. In reality, its "I am working alot to pay the bills or I am working alot to get this job....so deal with it".

    my take...at least you didnt throw anymore money at her and then this happened. lucky it happened 1.5 years and not 3-4 years.
  15. P-Worm macrumors 68020


    Jul 16, 2002
    Salt Lake City, UT
    A friend of mine and his girlfriend were planning on getting married. My friend got shipped out of the country to do some work, so they had to keep in touch by letter and email. One day, my friend was browsing Facebook and saw that she had changed her status to 'Engaged' to another man. She didn't even bother to tell him! :eek:


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