Get a new battery for the 12 PM, then sell it, buy a broken 14PM and have it repaired, then bury it at a crossroads at a full moon.
Dig it up at Halloween, then use the flashlight to light up your jack-o-lantern.
When the battery runs out, charge it, then sell it on Craigslist as the Occult Edition and claim that it is haunted by the spirit of Steve Jobs.
Use the money to buy ayahuasca and go on a Spirit Quest - whichever model of iPhone appears to you in the dream state is the one you should buy.