Thank you. how do i make this bokeh brush appear more 3 dimensional like the image i posted above?
it only lets me paint the brush in flat one dimensional colors.
I haven't ever tried to create the effect, but I would probably use 4 or 5 layers, setting separate opacities for each layer (between 20% and 50%), then paint some shapes where you want the "lighting effect". When you're done, you can apply gaussian blur to each layer to varying degrees. The developers for the iPhone app probably did this, saved the image, and apply it behind the scenes using a blend mode (multiply would be the first one I would use).
You'll find many cases where Photoshop doesn't provide an easy solution. It takes time and money to create and support plugins, and there might not be a good business case for creating them. Keep in mind that the images from the iPhone app could be opened in Photoshop, so you could consider the app a plugin of sorts, without limiting the user base to Photoshop owners.
I suspect Adobe hasn't had many requests for presets-based effects in Photoshop. Many users invest in Photoshop because they want more control than apps that take the preset approach, at least that was the impression I had when I did training and sales.
Finally, keep in mind that there are many kinds of apps that work with images. Editing (Photoshop), creation (Illustrator), and management (Lightroom) are the main ones I think about, but camera apps are becoming another popular focus, and those include apps like Instagram and the one you used as an example. While some apps might be higher-end the others, also keep in mind that some are designed for different purposes, so feature differences should be expected.
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I just wanted to chime back in and say OP don't give up on Photoshop. Once you learn it its a VERY valuable tool for all kinds of different things.
Don't give up on the other app either. See what you get using the two together. Better yet, keep experimenting with Photoshop to see how the presets were created, and try creating your own.