Helping a friend who is battling depression

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by foidulus, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. foidulus macrumors 6502a

    Jan 15, 2007
    I've been concerned about my friend as of late. She told me that she was so sick that she quit her job, but wouldn't tell me with what. Eventually she opened up to me that she is battling some pretty severe depression. Obviously so depressed that she quit her job, some days eats a ton, other days doesn't eat anything at all. Naturally I'm really worried about her and to make matters worse I'm in Regensburg and she is in Osaka. I'm going to be in Osaka for a month in August, but thats is a bit far away right now.

    I want to comfort her, but I'm afraid of coming off as patronizing. I don't want to trivialize the sickness, as I have never really had depression that bad. I guess there were points in my life where I suffered from it, but never to the point that I quit my job or radically changed my appetite. I have no idea how to broach the subject, and subtlety is not a strongpoint of mine. How can I be there for her without coming off as minimizing the illness or talking down to her?

    Anyone with experience in this matter, I would greatly appreciate your input.
  2. bartelby macrumors Core


    Jun 16, 2004
    I have depression, Drs and Psychs are still deciding if it's Bi-Polar or Dysthymic Disorder.

    Appetite is one thing that can fluctuate greatly. For a while I was eating 1 or 2 meals a week. I was also off work for 6 months.

    The best thing is to let her come to you if necessary. When I'm felling at my lowest I don't want anyone to be near me.
  3. iBlue macrumors Core


    Mar 17, 2005
    London, England
    Not a lot you can do, but sometimes when you're depressed it's enough to know that people are there if/when you need them. I've always found it tough to reach out so if it happens to be the same way for her, be sure to give her a call just to chat; it's good to hear a friendly voice. Try not to focus TOO much on "how are you's" because it can feel embarrassing and invasive. Ask and then carry on with normal conversation.
    I don't know if that helps or makes sense but that's the best I could come up with.
  4. bartelby macrumors Core


    Jun 16, 2004
    That's a very good point. Just act how you've always acted.

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