Just go into an Apple Store and return the phone then take your paperwork and buy another at Sprint. They will see that you tried to make it work and restore your upgrade.
I think spending over 2 hours in the store over 2 visits, and having them attempt to activate the phone (but actual results are what matter) and getting misinformation either intentionally or whatever counts for the above
this thread has to be a joke.
if you bought the phone legally at a real non-fantasy store, just take it back and while moving your arms towards the store associate with box and receipt in hand, say these words, "can I please return this?"
Sprint CS sucks. All you need to do is return the phone. Then repurchase a different one.