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How are you tormenting your children this christmas?

j26

j26

macrumors 68000
Original poster
Mar 30, 2005
1,810
1,152
Paddyland
Me, I've set sleighbells as my ringtone and Santa saying 'Ho Ho Ho' as the text tone on a separate profile on my phone, hidden it behind the curtains and I can sit here and use Skype and online texting to torment her with the sounds of Santa outside.

It's a great way to get her to go to bed - she's a bit scared she'll only get coal :D

What are you up to?
 
Every Christmas was a torment because they don't get the things they really wanted like motorcycles (they would have been dead in a week), high-end video games (they were in good shape and no need to make them fat and lazy) and huge piles of money (made them eeeern it).

The result: they are alive, still. They got athletic scholarships and one got drafted. They got good jobs and don't need my money any more.

So, tormenting can be good and they may actually appreciate it later. Maybe.
 
By leaving present catalogues lying around the house with the pages showing knock-down Dell laptop tops running Windows Vista open.
 
I always tell my niece outrageous lies, so christmas is just another opportunity hehe. My brothers did it to me, and my Dad did it to them, so it has become a bit of family tradition.

I have told her that father christmas will only come if she sleeps with her feet on her pillows on christmas eve.

I also recently told her that I work in the sky (I work at the top of a very tall office building), fixing the leaks so that it doesn't rain so often, and that I see Santa up there all the time.
 
I tell them the truth about the Santa's Workshop conspiracy.:rolleyes: Given that Elves do not exist, ergo they cannot work in Santa's Workshop. So who are those little people working for Santa Claus? (Subordinate Clauses, I call them:)) Little kids, the naughty ones. It makes perfect sense to set up at the North Pole, since there are no Child Labor laws.:eek:

I go on for half an hour (after which time, my oldest tells me to go easy on the Eggnog) spinning tales of horrid work conditions at Santa's Shop, my theory on why Rudolph's nose is red (It involves 180 proof whiskey:D) and other various nonsense.
 
First, I hang my sock below my son's sock. I cut a large hole through his sock. Whatever his mum or relatives put inside will fall through and become mine. :D
 
Mousse said:
I tell them the truth about the Santa's Workshop conspiracy.:rolleyes: Given that Elves do not exist, ergo they cannot work in Santa's Workshop. So who are those little people working for Santa Claus? (Subordinate Clauses, I call them:)) Little kids, the naughty ones. It makes perfect sense to set up at the North Pole, since there are no Child Labor laws.:eek:

I go on for half an hour (after which time, my oldest tells me to go easy on the Eggnog) spinning tales of horrid work conditions at Santa's Shop, my theory on why Rudolph's nose is red (It involves 180 proof whiskey:D) and other various nonsense.
Click to expand...

You could have shortened all of this to "Bad children get to work in Nike factories." and saved a little time.
 
Love said:
You could have shortened all of this to "Bad children get to work in Nike factories." and saved a little time.
Click to expand...

If I tell that way, I'd have to leave they'll have to leave the eggs, milk, cream, sugar and nutmeg out of my eggnog then.;) It'll be just bourbon and brandy--:eek: I guess I'll go with the short version this year.;)
 
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