How are you tormenting your children this christmas?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by j26, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. j26 macrumors 65832

    j26

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Location:
    Paddyland
    #1
    Me, I've set sleighbells as my ringtone and Santa saying 'Ho Ho Ho' as the text tone on a separate profile on my phone, hidden it behind the curtains and I can sit here and use Skype and online texting to torment her with the sounds of Santa outside.

    It's a great way to get her to go to bed - she's a bit scared she'll only get coal :D

    What are you up to?
     
  2. carlgo macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2006
    #2
    Every Christmas was a torment because they don't get the things they really wanted like motorcycles (they would have been dead in a week), high-end video games (they were in good shape and no need to make them fat and lazy) and huge piles of money (made them eeeern it).

    The result: they are alive, still. They got athletic scholarships and one got drafted. They got good jobs and don't need my money any more.

    So, tormenting can be good and they may actually appreciate it later. Maybe.
     
  3. CHAOS STEP macrumors 6502

    CHAOS STEP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2005
    Location:
    playing tiddlywinks with Kim Jong-un
    #3
    Flogging them with a belt after 10 cans of Special Brew.
     
  4. Poncho macrumors 6502

    Poncho

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2007
    Location:
    Holland
    #4
    By leaving present catalogues lying around the house with the pages showing knock-down Dell laptop tops running Windows Vista open.
     
  5. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #5
    It's about time. Old school parenting, FTW.
     
  6. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #6
    Mine are locked in the cellar. We told the neighbours they'd run away.
     
  7. Skengman macrumors member

    Skengman

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Location:
    Essex/London
    #7
    I always tell my niece outrageous lies, so christmas is just another opportunity hehe. My brothers did it to me, and my Dad did it to them, so it has become a bit of family tradition.

    I have told her that father christmas will only come if she sleeps with her feet on her pillows on christmas eve.

    I also recently told her that I work in the sky (I work at the top of a very tall office building), fixing the leaks so that it doesn't rain so often, and that I see Santa up there all the time.
     
  8. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #8
    I found the attic to be better, nosey neighbors are less likely to go up in the attic
     
  9. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    Flea Bottom, King's Landing
    #9
    I tell them the truth about the Santa's Workshop conspiracy.:rolleyes: Given that Elves do not exist, ergo they cannot work in Santa's Workshop. So who are those little people working for Santa Claus? (Subordinate Clauses, I call them:)) Little kids, the naughty ones. It makes perfect sense to set up at the North Pole, since there are no Child Labor laws.:eek:

    I go on for half an hour (after which time, my oldest tells me to go easy on the Eggnog) spinning tales of horrid work conditions at Santa's Shop, my theory on why Rudolph's nose is red (It involves 180 proof whiskey:D) and other various nonsense.
     
  10. greygray macrumors 68000

    greygray

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    #10
    First, I hang my sock below my son's sock. I cut a large hole through his sock. Whatever his mum or relatives put inside will fall through and become mine. :D
     
  11. Love macrumors 68000

    Love

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Location:
    Just southeast of Northwestshire
    #11
    You could have shortened all of this to "Bad children get to work in Nike factories." and saved a little time.
     
  12. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    Flea Bottom, King's Landing
    #12
    If I tell that way, I'd have to leave they'll have to leave the eggs, milk, cream, sugar and nutmeg out of my eggnog then.;) It'll be just bourbon and brandy--:eek: I guess I'll go with the short version this year.;)
     

Share This Page