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How do I select the right frat?

I lost quite a few friends to fraternities....once they joined they never really wanted to hang out with us who did not join anymore. I also lost a girl who I dated for 3 years to a sorority and a fraternity boyfriend b/c she was so pressured to do all of the sorority functions we eventually grew apart as I did not enjoy being there nor was I "allowed" at some of them. The only time I ever visited a fraternity house it smelled like a gym-locker-room so it put me off from the beginning. The only fraternity guys I ever met and hung out with that really didn't seem elitist were from Acacia.
BEST decision I ever made was to not join :) Almost all of my great friends I met on my own by getting out and socializing around the community. Alot of them were even in my wedding in some way......and my wife and I started dating a year after these things happened.....and I now have friends all over the world (Dubai, Australia, Russia, London, Panama Central America version, Thailand, etc.).
If you are the type of person who enjoys getting out on your own and meeting people and discovering new places then perhaps a fraternity may not be as good for you. But to each his own.
 
Just to throw another piece of advice out there, do not take information about sororities and apply them to fraternities. Although they may seem very similar, I see girls transformed way more heavily joining a sorority. Their rules and ways of life are so much more involved than any fraternity.

jon
 
What about joining frats that do not have houses? I'm interested in joining a professional frat as well with about 50 members but no house.
 
AcousticDoc said:
What about joining frats that do not have houses? I'm interested in joining a professional frat as well with about 50 members but no house.
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We don't have Fraternities/Sororities down here, are they really that important? What do they offer that the University does not?

Sorry but they've always fascinated me, the closest thing we would have here are the colleges but they're just residences - none of the hazing, initiation ceremonies you see in frats.
 
AcousticDoc said:
What about joining frats that do not have houses? I'm interested in joining a professional frat as well with about 50 members but no house.
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I considered the exact same thing as you but in the end didn't choose it. I felt one of the main and exciting features about going greek was being able to live in a fraternity house. I have the rest of my life to live in an apartment but in these few years to join a fraternity. It just isn't the same if you ask me.

jon
 
iJon said:
You gotta remember, this is a computer forum and I would be willing to bet a majority of people on this board would be biased towards not joining. They will have their opinions and not think to highly of them. I would personally ignore most of their comments, not because their opinions don't matter, it's just they have never experienced it and will talk down upon it regardless.

jon
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Well here's one who did "experience" it. I walked out in the middle of the phony initiation drama after three days of brainwashing while laughing in the faces of their hooded b.s. My "big brother" tried to come to the rescue and intervene. Too late. Still glad I walked.
 
I suppose the music department at my school would be the closest to a fraternity/sorority at my school, seeing as they were all banned from our campus decades ago. They've never really interested me at all. Especially since networking in the music world requires you to get out and play with people who know people, not people who belong to a semi-exclusive club.
 
Chundles said:
We don't have Fraternities/Sororities down here, are they really that important? What do they offer that the University does not?

Sorry but they've always fascinated me, the closest thing we would have here are the colleges but they're just residences - none of the hazing, initiation ceremonies you see in frats.
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Go over to Wiki and look at the articles for Theta Nu Epsilon and The Machine. that'll give you an idea of what it's like, at least at my school.
 
Seven-year dorm rat and I don't think I missed a thing.

But I was involved in school. Horticulture Society, marching band (didn't do the KKP/TBS thing, not enough time), worked in a lab, scuba diving, church. I didn't need to join a frat to fill up my free time with more things to do.

Of all the things I did in college, I got the most mileage (contacts and networking) out of working for one of my professors in a lab. I ended up going to a professional meeting to present a paper as a junior. I still keep in touch with some of the people from different universities I met there.

But it is totally up to you. Every time you step through a door, you close it behind you, but several more open in front of you.
 
xsedrinam said:
Well here's one who did "experience" it. I walked out in the middle of the phony initiation drama after three days of brainwashing while laughing in the faces of their hooded b.s. My "big brother" tried to come to the rescue and intervene. Too late. Still glad I walked.
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hehe...word to you
 
If you want to make large numbers of life-long college friends, go greek. If just a couple of lifers is cool for you, go GDI.

Don't listen to ANYONE suggestion WHICH frat to join, as the reputation, membership, etc varies WIDELY from chapter to chapter.

Don't listen to ANYONE who yammers about being sterotyped. You're not staying in college forever, and it will only matter for networking and life-long friends afterwards. No one will care that you were a greek X at your 2nd job post college.

Choose a fraternity based on people you like and whom you fit in with. NOTHING else matters. That will make the most sense for having friends post-college. Choosing it based on anything else is shallow and pointless.

In hoc.
 
xsedrinam said:
Well here's one who did "experience" it. I walked out in the middle of the phony initiation drama after three days of brainwashing while laughing in the faces of their hooded b.s. My "big brother" tried to come to the rescue and intervene. Too late. Still glad I walked.
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That's unfortunate. One of my pledge brothers had gone to a previous smaller school and would tell me horror stories of the rush they had to go through. If I had to go what he went through I would have quit immediately. Luckily here at U of Arkansas the hazing days are over. If campus police find out about the slightest incident then we are gone off campus and some other fraternity will be right behind us to take our house.

All we had at our house was the classic verbal abusing and things like that, nothing that a normal college student can't handle. We had to do a lot of cleaning but hey, it was my house too, gotta clean. Near the end of pledging I didn't take it seriously anymore because I knew there was no way I wouldn't get accepted in, plus it's just all fun and games until initiation. It was a sacrifice I made for one semester and then got to reap the benefits for the rest of my college duration.

jon
 
yellow said:
If you want to make large numbers of life-long college friends, go greek. If just a couple of lifers is cool for you, go GDI.
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That's just not true. Period. Propaganda and the enterprise of perpetuating this elitist way of college life is so indoctrinated and engrained in to those who've bought in to it, it's pathetic. Of course, it's your choice, but these kinds of false bravados that life long college friends can and will only happen by paying your way in to an elitist, secret order just don't wash.
 
AcousticDoc said:
Hey guys, I'm a junior transfer and I'm just wondering how I select the right frat that will fit me. I never really thought about going greek, but there is a frat house next to where I live so I have been going there a lot to score free food and to kick it with my neighbors when I was bored. I don't know how rush even works but yesterday was the official day of rush and I ended up getting an invite to their frat. I wasn't really expecting it at all but getting an invitation to this house has made me think about looking at other fraternities. How do I decide what's the best one?

The one where I got an invite is pretty cool, but it's a small group. Their house looks nice, has a porch, lawn, backyard and everything but it is small compared to some of the other fraternities on campus which look like friggin castles. Also they are small in number as well; they currently only have 10 members. When joining a frat, is it better to find one with more people and a bigger house?
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I have to tell you. I would not pledge a fraternity. I did when I was in school and it was a huge mistake. I ended up leaving a year later because it was such a pain and was interfering with school. I stayed friends with some of the guys, but the rest I don't care if I never see again.

A few years later, some other friends of mine joined a different fraternity. I hung out there quite a bit and really liked the people a lot, but when they asked me to join I refused. I was toward the end of school and just didn't want a repeat of the hassles of the first time I tried. I'm still in contact with a lot of those guys- they'll be friends forever I'm sure. But I didn't make those friendships by joining anything. I made them by being myself.
 
xsedrinam said:
this elitist way of college life.
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yea...that's my beef with the greek community. People who think they're somehow superior to other people. F*ck that.
 
no offense but i wouldnt as a junior.

there was a junior in my pledge class freshman year. he got f'ed with soooooo badly by everyone that he dropped. sucks standing out he was almost 22 with a bunch of 17/18 year olds.

older brothers took advantage of the poor guy.

although we were the best (and rowdiest) frat on campus at FSU, so it was a little rough going through. but if you join a sucky frat that no girls like or doesnt party, then you will be fine... it wont be nearly as bad for an older pledge.

just remember.....
crazy fun frats that get lots of sorority chicks = much hazing, lots of abuse
gay frats, no girls, no drinking, and nerdy kids = no/minimum hazing.

although sometimes getting hazed is fun. all part of the experience. and no, they never made us do gay stuff. just alot of forced drinking, cleaning after parties, and running through sororities naked at like 2am
 
joined one 20 yrs ago. I was impressed primarily with its gallery of revered Alumni; Senators, Congressmen, Supreme court justices etc. Plus, I had a couple of relatives who were members themselves. I have to admit that it does/did open doors, but only a bit. NO, let me correct that: it leaves some doors unlocked. you still have to open the door and you have to choose the right one to open. It still boils down to what you are and what you can prove. there's still no substitute to hardwork and discipline. regrets? not much, just a few. grateful? pretty much. just call me lucky. ;)
 
Size: A small frat can go under real fast. They are sometimes forced to take anyone.

Group personalities: Many frats have distinct personalities, some are jocks, some are druggies, etc. Many frats are just an excuse to get drunk.

Networking: You are better off belonging to an honor society or a real good preprofessional frat. Those will bring skills and speakers in the area that matters-your future career. Your social frat can be a disadvantage if you put it on your resume that you were a pike and the guy interviewing you used to be a lambda chi or sig ep and he hates pikes.

I used to be in a frat when I was in college, but I quit because it was too expensive and I realized all my real friends were not in a frat. I'm glad I did but your experience may differ, it depends on the group of people.

my 2cnts
 
xsedrinam said:
That's just not true. Period. Propaganda and the enterprise of perpetuating this elitist way of college life is so indoctrinated and engrained in to those who've bought in to it, it's pathetic. Of course, it's your choice, but these kinds of false bravados that life long college friends can and will only happen by paying your way in to an elitist, secret order just don't wash.
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How is this elitist??

In my experience it's the truth.. All of my GDI friends have a handful of really close friends from college. All of my greek friends have mond-boggling numbers of close friends from college. There's nothing in my statement that indicates what I say is law. It's my opinion. And there's nothing elitist about what I said.

Of course, you're entitled to believe what I said is elitist.

However, you're wrong. Period. You've just bought into hating greek life, so any mention of it get your panties in a bunch.
 
yellow said:
How is this elitist??

In my experience it's the truth.. All of my GDI friends have a handful of really close friends from college. All of my greek friends have mond-boggling numbers of close friends from college. There's nothing in my statement that indicates what I say is law. It's my opinion. And there's nothing elitist about what I said.

Of course, you're entitled to believe what I said is elitist.

However, you're wrong. Period. You've just bought into hating greek life, so any mention of it get your panties in a bunch.
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The Greek system is elitist. It's exclusive, selective, restricted, limited, often snobby (especially ATOs and SAEs :p ) and replete with airs of superiority. That's 6 out of 7 synonyms for the word "elitist".

I can't take issue with "your experience" of course. But it's the one size fits all statement you make that going Greek is like a guarantee of life long friendships, while those who don't are relegated to a meager couple of friendships. That has not been my experience, and the statement is simply not correct.

I'm frankly too indifferent to hate greek life. I am opposed to what it represents which has more to do with principle. Its rah-rah mentality is rather to be pitied, but that's about as much emotion as it deserves.
 
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