How do you prevent her from...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by daneoni, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. daneoni macrumors G4

    daneoni

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2006
    #1
    ...turning you into a girlfriend. I seem to have this vibe where people like telling me their life stories without me asking and its worse with girls (We all know guys rarely talk of their problems). I get introduced to someone...usually a girl and all of a sudden within a few minutes/hrs/days she's telling me her life story. How she has this adorable cat/nephew or how she found this big discount on shoes or how this guy is giving her problems...etc. One even told me to come with her to a hair salon...i mean seriously?

    It gets annoying and i start switching off immediately...and i often lose respect for the individual. I get that people need someone to talk to and thats fine if i've know you for months/years not freaking 40 mins!!

    I'd guess most guys have been there at some point so how do you deal with it. I've been told to be rude and just walk off/blatantly ignore but i think thats a bit...uncivilized?
     
  2. BrettFarve04 macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    #2
    a few friendly arm punches...and a few beers and you'll be friends forever
     
  3. Melrose macrumors 604

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    Location:
    In a sidewalk.
    #3
    They're telling you what's important to them... I'd consider it a rare gift. Don't close off trying to communicate, just find a way to make it work for you and then accept it.

    My problem is the ladies don't talk to me enough - I don't have a problem with nerves or anything, but they just don't open up a whole lot. Makes things difficult.
     
  4. Schtumple macrumors 601

    Schtumple

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Location:
    benkadams.com
    #4
    +1 on that, it's a good thing they open up to you, use it, listen to them, and give them advice, it's a good thing to do :)
     
  5. irishgrizzly macrumors 65816

    irishgrizzly

    Joined:
    May 15, 2006
    #5
    It takes two to tango. Half of any conversation is your responsibility. Take the reins and turn it to what you'd like to talk about, use humour or be subtle about it.
     
  6. 7254278 macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Location:
    NYC
    #6
    I seem to be having the same "problem" as the OP. . . I guess it could be considered as a good thing, but I dont like ending up in the "friend zone" just because Im sensitive, care, I can listen and am competent at holding up a conversation.
     
  7. robanga macrumors 68000

    robanga

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2007
    Location:
    Oregon
    #7
    Balance out the "sensitive listener" with the "take charge" quality. It works
     
  8. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    #8
    So, basically, you need to listen to her but grab her ass or something after she's done talking, that way she knows what you're in it for.

    But seriously, getting girls to open up to you is a gift. You just need to show her that you are into her, ask her out for coffee or something, that way its a "date." She can open up to you there, but she also know you're into her as well. I don't reccomend doing the above, at least not on the first date, or probably the first few months you're dating, or maybe ever.

    Edit: Wow, I expected ass to be censored.
     
  9. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #9
    Maybe you need to be friendly in a different sort of way.

    Please. :rolleyes:
     
  10. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    #10
    Haha, I'm not saying its a bad word; sometimes this forum censors/*s odder things. I mean, what if some poor innocent child finds his or her way on this board and learns that ass doesn't just refer to a donkey? :p
     
  11. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #11
    Ah, I see. True dat. :D

    Ass is safe but if you put a hole at the end of it you get *******.

    Lets not even get into s c u n t h o r p e :p

    </detour>
     
  12. daneoni thread starter macrumors G4

    daneoni

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2006
    #12
    ...in other words...escalate the situation to make sure there's no confusion. What if you're not even attracted to the person?
     
  13. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #13
    Well, to be blunt, if you have no interest in the person be it sexually or in terms of friendship, I would cut that conversation early. You do have some control over it. Be less receptive. Sometimes we can all get the occasional unobservant chatter who doesn't notice the "please ****" signs (not looking at them, or when you do looking rather uninterested about it, merely nodding, reading something, checking your phone, your watch, walking away :p etc) but most will stop their chattering once you give them the signs™. Try it. Or you could just say "look, do I have a sign on my forehead that says "free therapist"? please, take that blabbering elsewhere!" or you know, something to that effect.
     
  14. daneoni thread starter macrumors G4

    daneoni

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2006
    #14
    Lol...fair points
     
  15. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    Flea Bottom, King's Landing
    #15
    I prefer the drooping eyelids, followed by the nodding and topped of with a bit of snoring. Works 99% of the time.:D When that doesn't work, I direct them to an on-line forum.:p:rolleyes:
     
  16. amersault macrumors member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    Moz Angeles
    #16
    i think it goes w/o question that they feel comfortable enough w/ you to communicate what's going on w/ them. that's a plus in your department.

    yes, some people can be a little too free w/ the chatter, but walking away and being rude just makes you a putz.

    i agree w/ what the others say and steer the conversation elsewhere - or else keep it short.
     
  17. OscarTheGrouch macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Location:
    G' Vegas South Carolina
    #17
    You guys are making this too complicated.

    All you need are some roofies, liquor and duct tape. The rest will take care of it's self.
     
  18. MarkCollette macrumors 68000

    MarkCollette

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2003
    Location:
    Calgary, Canada
    #18
    You might not actually be a good conversationalist. They might be desperately filling the void created by you sitting there silently.
     
  19. amersault macrumors member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    Moz Angeles
    #19
    i dunno - endless drivel on first meeting doesn't signify 'void of silence' to me
     
  20. MarkCollette macrumors 68000

    MarkCollette

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2003
    Location:
    Calgary, Canada
    #20
    It's all subjective. The OP might feel like they're being a good listener, but in reality aren't contributing their half the the conversation. I have no idea, just raising the possibility, for them to evaluate themself.
     

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