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How do you take care of your mental health?

iHorseHead

iHorseHead

macrumors 68000
Original poster
Jan 1, 2021
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Hello and happy new year to everyone!
As the new year is around the corner and I really want to change my life and myself the next year but am suffering from a crippling depression and suicidal thoughts and therapy hasn't really helped and apps like Tinder and Bumble etc make things just worse I wanted to ask how do you guys take care of your mental health? Travelling doesn't really help either.

Any tips for everyone of us? Even the smallest tips help. I recently saw a reel where it told you to look in the mirror when you wake up and tell yourself "I love you". I'm going to try that.
 
The "I love you" mirror affirmation is a great idea kindness toward yourself matters. Remember, you're not alone in this, and things can improve. Wishing you strength and better days ahead!
 
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iHorseHead said:
Hello and happy new year to everyone!
As the new year is around the corner and I really want to change my life and myself the next year but am suffering from a crippling depression and suicidal thoughts and therapy hasn't really helped and apps like Tinder and Bumble etc make things just worse I wanted to ask how do you guys take care of your mental health? Travelling doesn't really help either.

Any tips for everyone of us? Even the smallest tips help. I recently saw a reel where it told you to look in the mirror when you wake up and tell yourself "I love you". I'm going to try that.
Click to expand...
Shift your focus.

Don’t focus on the negative.
Focus on the positives.

Get off social media.

Get out and meet people.
Volunteer, join a group.
Get outside away from screens as often as you can (at least every day).
Find a hobby that you love (photography for me).
 
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1735663373074.png


Ok, half a joke, but half serious.

Whenever I am stressed or things aren't going well, I get out and do this. It doesn't have to be this, but do something you enjoy that can give you a little bit of a reset. A way to come back a little refreshed.
 
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At the start of Covid, I was in a very similar spot as you and I was this close to ending it all. Here are some of the things that I do to take care of my mental health:
  • Freedom App to disable/restrict Social Media apps
  • Motivation app to provide encouraging/uplifting quotes
  • Meditate
  • Read blogs about mental health and try to use tips/tricks that they provide to apply it to my daily life
  • Workout, eat right, take multivitamins and get enough sleep
  • In the summertime, I go hiking in the mountains to clear my head. I usually do 5-10 mile hikes just to take in nature, unplug from the world and breathe in the natural air. I've become a BIG fan of "Shinrin Yoku" ever since Covid and it's done wonders for my head
  • I took up photography and it's forced me to get outside and just observe the world, even when it's suuuuper cold outside.
  • I started listening to lectures by Alan Watts on Youtube. Very insightful philosopher and really helped me put things into perspective during Covid. Learning about Alan Watts led me down the path of Buddhism which has helped me tremendously with my mental health. I'm not a devout Buddhist by any means and there are aspects of it that I dont agree with but many of the Buddhist teachers, like Thich Nhat Hanh and Shunmyo Masuno have helped me realize the simplicity of life and how we as a species intentionally over-complicate things because we have this weird obsession with controlling every single thing in life, when in reality, change is the only real constant in the universe. Nothing is ever permanent.
  • TURN OFF THE NEWS. It's fine to remain informed but anymore, it feels like being bashed over the head with a sledgehammer of bad news, day in and day out. The human psyche was not designed to take that kind of abuse so turning off the news, deleting news apps and avoiding the doom and gloom headlines has been a big one for me. That's why I switched to using RSS feeds instead. I stay up to date on things I care about, not what an algorithm thinks I should know about.
  • Journal. I dont do this one as often but for a while, I was jotting down my thoughts onto the Notes app but any medium you use to just express your thoughts is a good way to force some perspective. Some people need to actually write things down. Others use Voice Memos to record and transcribe their thoughts.
Mental health is an ever evolving journey for many and it's not a one-size-fits-all approach. What works for me, or anyone else that responds, may or may not work for you but ultimately, you have to start somewhere so hopefully we've provided a starting point for you. But remember this, whether you are the only person telling yourself this or if you have friends and family who tell you as well...you are loved and you are not alone in this world. There are many, many people who are going through similar things as you and are looking for human connection, understanding and compassion. It might take some time to find that person or group of people to connect with but they are out there.

Dont ever give up!
 
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I use humor as a coping mechanism. When that doesn't work, I find a place where I can be alone with my thoughts--putter around the garage, do yard work, sit under a tree stare into the horizon and so on. Shut out the world in a sense.

It's so entertaining when Mousse, Moose, Meus (rhymes with Zeus), and Meuce (rhymes with deuce) starts having a conversation about the most absurd things. Just last night they had a debate on the merits of one humped camels vs two humped camels.🤔 We didn't come to a consensus as none of use knew a damn thing about camels.😂

Edit: Being alone with your thoughts might not be a good idea for those in a bad place. Real depression, not the BS where people are just over stressed. I'm talking sitting on the couch for hours after work until it's time to sleep. Not being able to do the simplest of task just because. Your room looks like a landfill because you can't find the motivation to get up. I've been there. I never want to go back.
 
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iHorseHead said:
apps like Tinder and Bumble etc make things just worse
Click to expand...

Thích Nhất Hạnh, who passed in '22, wrote in The Art of Living:

We should not be afraid of suffering. We should be afraid of only one thing, and that is not knowing how to deal with our suffering.
Click to expand...

The Buddha exposed in his Four Noble Truths (approximately a hundred-handful of years before The Christ walked the Earth (that's about 26 centuries ago!)) a basic understanding of existence as conscious biological organisms.

His First Noble Truth is that life is 'dukkha', or the Truth that life is suffering.

The "truth of suffering" part has been repeated and meme'd into dullness, because we all know just how very real the pain of living can be.

'dukkha' is a Pali word (a variant of Sanskrit), and it (as all words in all languages seem to do), means more than one thing, given the proper context.

It may help one to interpret 'dukkha' to mean "incapable of satisfying" or "not able to bear or withstand".

[may I be (and stand) corrected by those more familiar with such dialects]

Of course--since it's NYE, and we either have to be off to work, find a party to enjoy, or prepare a disgustingly-scrumptious TV Dinner--it probably doesn't really help for me/us to sit here and debate centuries-old etymology!

Pain is pain.

I guess what I really mean to say is that to get past the obvious truths of suffering, pain, frustration and grief is to understand that occupying one's awareness is just part of a process.

A process that enables us to observe our existence in this Universe in a different light.

A process that takes time.

In the times when I was at my lowest energies--and seemingly without hope--just one minute, hour or day of living that led me to a space where I was able to gift another human with the means to a smile, some hope that living is not pointless, or the energy to try living a little bit more . . .

I ultimately found peace.

If I were to live for another hundred years, and all I could say at this End is that I made just one person's day brighter--in even a small way--I would consider my Life fulfilled :)

My Bon-Voyage wish for you iHorseHead is that--along your 2025 timeline--you may find the energies to become so-fulfilled.

As we enter into a new Year in our living, let it be that we may molt, and shed the skins of who we once were . . .

. . . do butterflies dream of electric caterpillars?

peace
 
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iHorseHead said:
Hello and happy new year to everyone!
As the new year is around the corner and I really want to change my life and myself the next year but am suffering from a crippling depression and suicidal thoughts and therapy hasn't really helped and apps like Tinder and Bumble etc make things just worse I wanted to ask how do you guys take care of your mental health? Travelling doesn't really help either.

Any tips for everyone of us? Even the smallest tips help. I recently saw a reel where it told you to look in the mirror when you wake up and tell yourself "I love you". I'm going to try that.
Click to expand...
Realize there is Someone higher than yourself that cares for you. It’s not for me to name that Someone for you, but Jesus helped me live through my depression. He gave me the strength I didn’t have myself.

Find a purpose bigger than yourself and then find people who need you to be there for them. Connect yourself to the world around you. My computer repair business is that for me. Many of my clients say “you cannot retire, you cannot die. We need you.” That keeps me going.

Same with my church; I help out with accounting and they need me there. Nobody else there has those skills.
 
jedimasterkyle said:
TURN OFF THE NEWS. It's fine to remain informed but anymore, it feels like being bashed over the head with a sledgehammer of bad news, day in and day out. The human psyche was not designed to take that kind of abuse so turning off the news, deleting news apps and avoiding the doom and gloom headlines has been a big one for me.
Click to expand...
Absolutely. I've felt a lot happier since I deleted all my news website bookmarks and stopped compulsively checking them. If something important happens then you'll find out by other means.
 
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xJustxMegx said:
Going to follow this for some tips.

I'm always feeling down, depressed during the winter months. Being lonely etc.
Click to expand...

My way in winter is Zwift or Fulgaz and use a trainer bicycle (or put your real bicycle on a smart trainer).

Because in winter it is less practical to go outside for fitness (dark and cold) it’s the only thing I can do - but it keeps me sane. 90 minutes per day is good enough.

The fitness you get helps the mind, but this 90 minutes is also your time to switch off from the rest of the world.
 
Nermal said:
Absolutely. I've felt a lot happier since I deleted all my news website bookmarks and stopped compulsively checking them. If something important happens then you'll find out by other means.
Click to expand...
Luckily for me, the news sites in my country have started to ask me to disable my Adblock and there's no way around it. There's no tiny link that'd say "No thanks. Take me to the site" You just have to disable the adblocker + you'd still have to pay 9,99€ a month and get ads.
So technically, I can't even read the news. They did me a favour, I guess.
 
iHorseHead said:
Thank you.
Do you have any recommendations?
Click to expand...
Of course! Here are a few that I subscribe to.
I'm sure there are more out there that are specifically targeted towards depression or whatever you're going through but I've found that these are a good starting point to figuring out the next steps of where you want to go. Yes, they are Buddhist focused but the lessons and tips they provide have helped me tremendously and hopefully, they help you as well!
 
Exercise. I worked my whole life with GAD. It was hell getting there, especially in the later years, but made it to retirement. Couldn’t wait to bolt from my job. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Work wasn’t my life, I just had so much free time I started going down the rabbit hole all the time. Started going to the gym and biking in particular.

Life altering.
 
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This helped a lot

- WFPB OMAD
- sleeping earlier for 8 hours or longer nightly
- 3-4 hours daily active calories of cardio, strength, weights and flexibility
- in-person social interaction
- avoiding persons with behaviors and habits that do not draw out the best version of me
- reducing non-work screen time to as low as possible
- reducing empathy on clickbait posts, shares, articles and other things that is out of my hands or beyond the places I frequent
 
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OverTheHill said:
Exercise. I worked my whole life with GAD. It was hell getting there, especially in the later years, but made it to retirement. Couldn’t wait to bolt from my job. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Work wasn’t my life, I just had so much free time I started going down the rabbit hole all the time. Started going to the gym and biking in particular.

Life altering.
Click to expand...
Although I don’t suffer with depression, exercise definitely helps me stay in a good place mentally.

Regarding social media, if you are depressed, I agree to turn it off. But if your not, I’ve found it, at least Mastodon to be very valuable from a staying informed standpoint, and the liberal perspective seems to be prominent there which is excellent for myself.

Sometimes I do feel a sense of dread and anger, but what are you going to do? If there is a dire threat out there, are you really better off living in your own little world, until a ugly reality comes knocking on your door? There is a personal line of what you can take, must be determined where that is, and it’s hard for me to say you’re better off not knowing until you are hit upside the head with a sledge hammer to your life.

But I can see that depression would alter that calculus. Also this is an argument for a real news source, not fantasy news, and I’ll acknowledge as humans, we tend to gravitate to sites that reinforce our biases, but I claim for now, I’m good a discerning valid “real” news. 🙃
 
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green_diyos said:
This helped a lot

- WFPB OMAD
- sleeping earlier for 8 hours or longer nightly
- 3-4 hours daily active calories of cardio, strength, weights and flexibility
- in-person social interaction
- avoiding persons with behaviors and habits that do not draw out the best version of me
- reducing non-work screen time to as low as possible
- reducing empathy on clickbait posts, shares, articles and other things that is out of my hands or beyond the places I frequent
Click to expand...
How long did it take you to gte adjusted to OMAD? I currently skip breakfast and eat a really light lunch. But, sometimes, when I don't have a good lunch, I get super hungry for dinner and feel like I am just eating all the meals at once.
 
roguester said:
How long did it take you to gte adjusted to OMAD? I currently skip breakfast and eat a really light lunch. But, sometimes, when I don't have a good lunch, I get super hungry for dinner and feel like I am just eating all the meals at once.
Click to expand...
I used to eat >3x daily. So first 30 days I reduced my food intake to 3x daily eating at 8am, 12nn an 4pm for 16/8 IF.

Day 31-onward I ate 12nn-12:30pm daily. I tried pushing it to 30 hour fasting with 3-4 hours daily active calories but I started seeing spots. Weekly active calorie burn is 12,000+.

Vinegar helps... for my bean salad the dressing is made from scratch of olive oil, vinegar, spices and herbs.

Mind you I am macro/micro complete WFPB without simple carbs at ~1,200kcal daily. Food's about 0.5-1.0kg daily depending on how hungry I am.

Meal prep is weekly. I rotate recipes every occasionally when I get fed up with a dish.

When I don't cheat meal, sleep early and longer and do weekly 25.5 hours weekly active calories I can reduce BF by 1kg every 3 days or 10kg monthly.

I have a Apple Watch Series 10, Withings Smart Body Scale and Omron Smart Blood Pressure Monitor to measure my biomarkers.

I also started to do bi-annual blood chemistry labs to monitor my improvements. It all improved from above range to range or even desirable/ideal/below range.

I upload all my health and nutrition data onto A.I. and have it spit out suggestions on areas I need to improve further with the wanted outcome of longevity, reducing odds of getting NCDs & metabolic syndrome and avoiding any major surgery or therapies.

Starting in 2008 I've had hypertension and diuretic pills and 2018 added cholesterol. Last October my personal cardio removed a hypertenson pill. I look forward to having the remaining 2 pills being removed when I hit BMI 20.0 @ <10% body fat.

I used to be BMI 43.1 @ ~50% body fat.

This week's market list

- 1kg garlic
- 1kg red onion
- 250g dried Chickpeas/garbanzo
- 250g dried Red kidney beans
- 250g dried Navy/white kidney beans
- 1kg tomatoes
- red cane vinegar
- olive oil

- chicken eggs
- fresh sardines
- coconut oil

- 250g cauliflower
- 250g broccoli
- 250g carrots

- 500g squash
- 250g okras
- 250g green beans
- 250g bitter melon
- 250g eggplant

- 125g orange sweet potato

- 2kg papaya
- 1kg frozen strawberries

- brown rice
 
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