Finally I have solved the problem!
After taking another swing at finding something I could wire together I have finally found a product that is exactly what I wanted in the first place.
Smith just released a cable compatible with the iPhone this season 10/11 but I never saw it because I have a Giro helmet.....
http://www.amazon.com/Skullcandy-Si...HZPK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297548101&sr=8-1
Its a single cable that plugs into the iPhone with a 4 conductor jack and is fully compatible with the remote functions like FF and RR as well as the voice command and mic functions.
The other end is a female 3 conductor cable compatible with the existing headphones wired in my helmet (also made by skull candy)
It even has a volume control! Its analog so its more reliable than the digital one, toggling the buttons and hitting the correct one.
Now for the bad news....
I tested it out at home and it worked great. On the slopes was a different story however. Sometimes the button did not work and required me to either unplug and replug the cable to the iPhone, or to shield the mic/button from the cold/wind to get it to work again.
Also, when talking from iPhone to iPhone, both people using the same mic/headset their were issues.
I suspect a poor build quality for the electronics as main issue due to the cold. The volume in the white headset is dependent on resistance/capacitance to send a signal to the iphone. I suspect the cold is effecting this quality as, after close observance, I find that pressing the button, when cold, causes the volume to adjust slightly down instead of play/pause, the original issue I had with it not working well.
Overall, it works better than any other existing solution as their is no other solution I know of. Unfortunately, it is $50 with the headphones for a Smith helmet, which I did not need, and if you need Giro headphones you will have to make these fit or buy them separately.
Skull candy makes these for Smith only right now, but also makes headsets for Giro, why they dont have this exact model is beyond me, but maybe that will change.
For now I am sticking it out with the Single-Shot, until someone comes up with something better. Hopefully someone will find this info useful as it took over a year for someone to build this product.