How long has it taken you to move on?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by cantthinkofone, Sep 23, 2010.

  1. cantthinkofone macrumors 65816


    Jul 25, 2004
    Missouri, USA
    How long has it taken you to get over somebody? I talked with a former co-worker about his ex wife. He told me he'd let me know when he did. He was married for 20 years to her. Now is married to a awesome woman.

    <small rant>

    Not sure how much worse 2010 can get for me. Lost my job in June, car is falling apart. Three months behind on rent. Can't get a job anywhere. Hate where I live. To top that off, my daughter's mom told me today she is getting married this coming March; flippin' peachy. I knew in the back of my head but I was doing OK at holding it back and not thinking about it. Worrying instead on being a good father to my daughter, going to school, etc.

    I've done my best to try and move on from her with little or no progress. Gone on a few dates, all of them horribly awkward. Last date I went on the girl was out there. Told me she thought 9/11 was a inside job, was nuts about the twilight series. I looked at the $40 I spent on dinner as a learning experience.

    Ex tells me I should date and meet new people, and when she finds out I'm going on a date wigs out on me and threatens my life if the girl try's to come in between our daughter. Took me long enough to convince her that wouldn't be a issue.

    Lots more to the story. She's the first girl I was really serious with (lived together, had a car in our names, had a kid). Also the first girl I had ever slept with. Never was worried about it, didn't want to bang some skank in high school.

    Wish my imagination would just turn off for a few years. All I can do is in-vision them sleeping together, their wedding. Things we had planned out. Makes me so mad I can't even find words to describe it. SOB is uglier than burnt cat *****. If they have kids, those poor kids only hope at life would be to get more than 50% of their mother's genes.

    I wish I could just forget about her and kick her memories to the curb. I wouldn't trade my daughter for the world. But she makes it so hard to get over her mother when she looks exactly like her, is just as intelligent, just as funny.
  2. roadbloc macrumors G3


    Aug 24, 2009
    Still trying to get over her. Two years and counting. :(
  3. vorbb macrumors member

    Aug 18, 2010
    been a year and a half or so. It wasn't nearly as serious as your situation, but I really loved this girl. First girl I ever really loved, but couldn't say it.

    "Bound by all the weight of all the words he tried to say, and as he faced the sun he cast no shadows." -Oasis
  4. SlovakApple macrumors 6502

    Jul 4, 2010
    In the heart of Europe
    It took me about three months. But only a gf, no marriage, no children (I am 25). I suppose situations like those where people are married or have children are a lot more serious.
  5. MacDawg macrumors Core


    Mar 20, 2004
    "Between the Hedges"
    Every experience will vary depending on the circumstances and personalities of those involved, as well as the level of current contact, etc.

    Took me nearly 4 years to truly reach the tipping point and love someone else
    But take heart, I believed it could never happen
    And yet now, I have never been happier

    Once you reach the point that when you look in the mirror of your soul you see Gollum grieving over the loss of his "preciousssss"*, you will realize what you are doing to yourself, and you will know you are finally ready to move on.

    But until then, don't beat yourself up too much. It isn't an overnight process, and you have to work your way down the Broken Road** to find where you truly need to be.

    *shameless Lord of the Rings reference

    ** shamless Rascal Flatts song reference

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