How Many Times Should You Fail Until You Succeed At Accomplishing Your Life Goals?

[maflynn]

Does your tablet/phone/TV improve your life? .

I got up at 5:00am this morning to log into work to fix an issue. I also get paged late at night because someone forgot their password. While they (tablets/phones/etc) are technological marvels and can be great tools, I'll postulate they have not improved my life.

Much has been written on how the promise of technology would improve and ease life actually caused increase in work and the erosion of personal time off but that's a subject for a different thread.

 

[mobilehaathi]

Has whatever you typed that on improved your life? Did you pay money for it? This is more in line with what I'm trying to do.

Yes yes, I get it. You want to marginally improve the lives of people who are already living comfortably and can afford to buy the stuff you're peddling.

I'm not crapping on important technical advances, just the method of distribution.

 

[Felasco]

Initially it doesn't matter what you do to employ yourself. You need to learn the very basic skills that of running your own business that are the foundation for any business. Customer skills, self-motivation, bookkeeping and invoicing, etc etc. All of these transfer over to whatever else you may do.

This is so very true. Another personal story to illustrate...

When the opportunity to sell my net company arrived a number of creative buyout plans and options were offered to me by various prospective buyers. We aren't talking millions, cause I'm not Steve Jobs but it was more money than I'd ever touched before.

The skills that allowed me to navigate that maze successfully, and avoid the proposals that would have proven highly problematic to my future, were learned as a wallpaper hanger discussing relatively small amounts of money with house wives over their kitchen table.

People are people, money is money. Real life experience even with small sums is more useful than theoretical experience.

I had an online friend who also sold his site at that same time. His background was in journalism instead of self employment. He didn't have those real world negotiating experiences to rely on, and so he got screwed. He took a "you give us the site now and we'll make you rich later" plan, and it never panned out.

I was very happy I didn't accept such "incredible opportunity" pie in the sky offers, given that the larger company I sold to managed to completely trash what I sold them in about six months.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Oh, I don't care about being famous at all. Sorry to be misinterpreted. As I said in my previous post all I want are my businesses to outlive me.

Why? Why is it important that your businesses outlive you? Do you see them as your 'children'? Frankly, businesses change, sometimes beyond all recognition, as they transform what they do; or, they go bankrupt, fail to anticipate market and other trends, get taken over, dissolved, absorbed, closed down, or simply become redundant.

His goal was to make money and succeed at all costs. His questionable business tactics made him a very rich person. Afterwards he started to realize that hoarding billions of dollars wasn't giving him the satisfaction he thought he'd have so he started a foundation to basically give his fortune away.

That's different then becoming successful so he can use that success to help others.

I'm sure there are businessmen that have left great legacies, but bringing up Bill Gates as one is perhaps not the best example, due to his ruthless tactics to destroy the competition (just as Rockefeller did).

So the question comes back, is your goal to help people or get rich? You can only have one master, its either helping others with your energy and power or seeking to get rich.

Again, I'm not knocking your pursuit of wealth but I don't think you can justify that pursuit by saying its in the name of helping humanity. Be honest, because you want those luxury items that wealth can provide.

Exactly.

I believe you are focussing on the end result too much. Your definition of being 'happy' and 'fulfilled' seem to hinge entirely on being 'successful'. Everyone is different, and everyone gets their crank turned in different ways. Personally, and with respect, I think you have it backwards.

I think happiness and fulfillment come with the attempt and the journey. One of the Greek philosophers used as an archer shooting arrows at a target as an analogy. There was harmony and direction to life as long as you were shooting towards the target, whether or not you hit the bullseye - rather than shooting them in random directions.

Yes... set some goals. But my suggestion is to scale them back a bit. Instead of incredibly rich, why not Financially Independent? You can live a really good life without huge $$s in the bank. Instead of a business legacy, why not make the world - even just your local community - a better place? Someone who has successfully created their own business - even if modest - is desperately needed by many non-profit Boards of Directors. Instead of leaving your name carved in granite on building facades, you can leave a legacy as scores of good friends who have helped you make your community better.

Felascos experience is the one you should be looking at. Initially it doesn't matter what you do to employ yourself. You need to learn the very basic skills that of running your own business that are the foundation for any business. Customer skills, self-motivation, bookkeeping and invoicing, etc etc. All of these transfer over to whatever else you may do.

To answer your first question... Exactly however many times it takes.

I've been self-employed for just about 25 years now. I used it as an opportunity to work as little as necessary to achieve my goals. Which I have done. I don't own a 2nd home. I don't have a yacht, or a plane. I don't buy designer clothes, or jewellery.

But I do own my own home in an expensive and unique community, debt free. I eat well, because I enjoy growing my own food and cooking it. I travel when I want... but I like my home so much I don't feel the need. I have as friends some of the most interesting people I could imagine knowing. Former ambassadors, captains of industry, accomplished academics and artists because I have time to develop those friendships.

This may not be your vision of 'Success'... but I can't imagine being as happy doing anything else I am now. And my legacy has been, I hope, to open some doors of opportunity for other people that have made their lives better. Most won't even know who I am of course. But why should I care. The world is a better place, I hope, because of what I have given back to my community. That is all I need to leave behind.

Excellent post, as are Felasco's posts. To repeat, the answer to your question is exactly how many times it takes.

I'm with snberk103 , in that I think you have it the wrong way around, and you are focussing on the end, the means, and not the journey. Indeed, the very thread title is, I think, misconceived, as there can be no answer to such a question in numerical terms; such an answer comes when you yourself decide that you have had enough of attempting to crack a market, or develop a product, or sell an idea.

Re the thread, you need to ask yourself what gives you most satisfaction in life, and how can you find a way to tap into what you feel an interest in, or a passion for.

Unless money is your personal god, saying 'I want to be rich' is an insufficient motivation. Ditto the argument about charitable donations as a by product of what you decide to do with your life.

Moreover, for what it is worth, I wouldn't discount - or view with dismissive indifference - the influence and power of ideas such as those articulated by Gandhi, or Marx, or Christ, come to think of it; they have a huge influence in how people determine to live their lives, and what sort of society people aspire to; aspirations such as 'freedom', 'democracy' will continue resonate with and inspire people; such ideas leave long lasting legacies. Indeed, I'm willing to bet that such ideas will be debated and yearned for, long after stuff such as - let us take an example - the iPhone becomes a foot-note in a history book on the transformational power of technology in the early 21st century.

 

[Felasco]

Much has been written on how the promise of technology would improve and ease life actually caused increase in work and the erosion of personal time off but that's a subject for a different thread.

"I see a future for technology which can help us overcome our addictions to technology", he sagely proclaimed, while typing his 123rd post of the morning.

 

[Shrink]

You are far more generous than I.

I think after two failures, you are a complete loser and should go live in a cave.

Mike, the correct answer to your question is "2". Nevermind Shrink, he is a blind optimist.

Actually, what I really want to write was...if at first you don't succeed, the hell with it.

But my life's work is devoted to helping folks feel better...so I thought I would just lie.

Works in my practice all the time!

 

[Felasco]

I'm with snberk103 , in that I think you have it the wrong way around, and you are focussing on the end, the means, and not the journey.

I'm with this sentiment too, but it's not for everybody. Some people are very destination oriented by nature, and are being true to themselves by pursuing that procedure.

My best friend and roommate in college was very destination oriented, and he got in to med school two years early (which defies the laws of physics!) and then went on to Harvard and became a successful surgeon.

I focused on the journey, took eight years to graduate, and then became a wallpaper hanger.

So let's see, Harvard trained surgeon, OR, some guy with an old van and wallpaper paste on his nose. I dunno, I can't decide, what do you guys think???

 

[mobilehaathi]

So let's see, Harvard trained surgeon, OR, some guy with an old van and wallpaper paste on his nose. I dunno, I can't decide, what do you guys think???

Are you happy?

Is he?

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Actually, what I really want to write was...if at first you don't succeed, the hell with it.

But my life's work is devoted to helping folks feel better...so I thought I would just lie.

Works in my practice all the time!

Yes, but almost anyone who works in what are called 'the caring professions' tend to experience extraordinarily high levels of job satisfaction, - a lot of the time - and this compensates for an awful lot else, including the bureaucratic frustrations. I know I did while I worked as a teacher.

But then, job satisfaction, rather than wealth accumulation, tends to be the primary motivation of such people, and such careers as allow for this tend to be found in the public, not private, sector.

I'm with this sentiment too, but it's not for everybody. Some people are very destination oriented by nature, and are being true to themselves by pursuing that procedure.

My best friend and roommate in college was very destination oriented, and he got in to med school two years early (which defies the laws of physics!) and then went on to Harvard and became a successful surgeon.

I focused on the journey, took eight years to graduate, and then became a wallpaper hanger.

So let's see, Harvard trained surgeon, OR, some guy with an old van and wallpaper paste on his nose. I dunno, I can't decide, what do you guys think???

Fair enough, I take your point completely about being 'destination oriented', but I actually doubt that - despite the OP's original post, that the OP is quite as 'destination oriented' as he thinks he is. Rather, he strikes me as having some sort of destination sketched out, and would like to learn a few short-cuts which might enable him to arrive there all the sooner.

My advice is to try to find the passion that fuels your life; then, most of the other stuff becomes almost irrelevant.

 

[Felasco]

Are you happy?
Is he?

As far as I know, both. He wouldn't have been happy with my path, nor I with his.

Sadly, Harvard closed their Wallpaper Installer College before I was able to apply, or I'd be a big shot too. So tragic!!

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Rather, he strikes me as having some sort of destination sketched out, and would like to learn a few short-cuts which might enable him to arrive there all the sooner.

Yes, he could be a dreamer, the most common type of never quite got there self employed person. I hope not, perhaps we'll see as he further shares his story.

 

[jeremysteele]

This post may come across as harsh: but it's the brutal truth. It's important lessons I've learned.

Frankly, I just don't want thirty or forty (11-21 years from now, respectively) to creep up on me without my having accomplished my goals...

You sound like me from a few years ago.

First tip: The single most important thing I learned: don't worry about getting old and leaving things unfinished. Just live your life to the best of your ability every day. Tomorrow doesn't exist. Get that in your mindset! Tomorrow doesn't exist.

Even better - you will not exist tomorrow. That means: work your butt off today!

Tip 2: I spent a good 1-2 years thinking the same way you are "I want to do a business" "I want to achieve my goals by 30", etc.

Guess what - wishes and hopes are completely and utterly worthless when it comes to running a business. They may help your mind - but they will not make you successful. What will make you successful is getting your butt out in the real world and doing stuff. Even if that means working for other people.

I run a business and work with other people still. Guess what? It means more money in my pocket to reinvest later on.

Tip 3: Learn from your mistakes and forget them. Don't ponder them. Truly successful people will screw up, slightly change their methodology, and try again.

Every person has a different "breaking" point. In some cases: even if their mindset is right - some people just can't run businesses. You will quickly know if you are one of those people.

For me personally I messed up a few times, so I took a few years off and got a regular job to develop my skills some more. Now I'm back at it - and that plan worked out pretty dang well so far.

Tip 4: Whatever industry you want to disrupt - get contacts in it first. Best thing I ever did was start freelancing when I was really young. Got to know some of the top guys in my industry, and I still work with them, in some capacity, to this day. Contacts are everything!

People in the industry may not know my name yet - but they most definitely know their names. I use that to my advantage every day.

Guess what - they don't give a crap I throw around their names - because they do the same thing. Everyone does it who wants to get anywhere.

I 100% guarantee people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Larry Ellison threw around their mentors' and colleagues names while revving up their businesses. It's the single best way to get support.

I feel like I am already a step ahead by deciding that I want to create my own business, wholeheartedly developing it for more than the purpose of revenue

Tip 5: You are in it for the money.

Let me say it again: You are in it for the money.

People who say they start a business to "better the world" are blowing smoke up their their own end. People start businesses because they get an idea and want to profit off it. Even charities (those CEOs are the worst... they can publicly look impeccable while pulling millions per year that were supposed to goto "good causes").

Publicly you can say whatever you want - but in your heart you know you are in it for the money. The sooner you accept this, the better.

Humans are incredibly selfish creatures. It's actually a good thing - since for the most part it causes us to help one another.... to get our reward.

Tip 6: Be happy. If you're not happy - it's time to change something. Even top CEOs sometime leave their companies randomly. They may give excuses - but sometimes they just aren't happy.

Tip 7: Learn how funding works. It can be hugely helpful or it can destroy your business. If you can - use your own money (sounds like you are willing too - which is a huge first step!)

This is especially true when it comes to VC funding... they often expect anywhere from a 2-5x return in less than a year. And they can be brutal about it. I've seen good people run their businesses into the ground by accepting funding too early or unnecessarily - simply because they "thought that is how it was done"

Tip 8: If you have success take it humbly. When people first get cash they will always do stupid things with it. Buying a $100,000 car would be a "safe" thing to do, believe it or not.

It's better than going to casinos everyday and doing cocaine... I've also seen that happen a few times... to some incredibly good people who you wouldn't expect it from.

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One more thing:

People look at companies like facebook, microsoft, and apple - and think they can mimic it. What they don't understand is those companies started with a product, they developed it, and released it (to make money). "changing the world" may have been a dream, but in reality wasn't the business plan.

Even if you come up with some product and don't understand how to monetize it just yet (social networks often have that issue) - it will still be about money.

 

[mobilehaathi]

As far as I know, both. He wouldn't have been happy with my path, nor I with his.

Sadly, Harvard closed their Wallpaper Installer College before I was able to apply, or I'd be a big shot too. So tragic!!

Then is sounds like you two pursued a path that fit your respective styles.

Too bad about the Harvard Wallpaper College. Although you would likely have graduated with the distinct impression that every wallpaper job you completed was a gift unto society.

 

[madoka]

- I'd also like to create some sort of a legacy while I can, even if it's only a business that lasts for a couple hundred years after my passing.

ONLY a couple hundred years?

There are about five U.S. companies that people would probably recognize that are a couple hundred years old. (CIGNA, Jim Beam, DuPont, Colgate, Pittsburgh Gazette)

So you're such a special snowflake that you ONLY want to accomplish something that's been done a handful of times throughout our country's history?

You're either a naive teenager or an adult who never developed past being a naive teenager.

 

[madoka]

This post may come across as harsh: but it's the brutal truth.

Not harsh enough. I believe in tough love.

I've met many such daydreamers with their heads so in the clouds that they border on being delusional. Reality has a way of beating such fantasies out of them. Might as well try to introduce them to the real world sooner.

 

[Felasco]

Not harsh enough. I believe in tough love. I've met many such daydreamers with their heads so in the clouds that they border on being delusional. Reality has a way of beating such fantasies out of them. Might as well try to introduce them to the real world sooner.

I want to go on the official historical record as saying I encouraged the honorable Mr. Michael, just in case he uh, you know, takes over the Internet or something.

Yup, I was there at the beginning, an original investor of sorts, a sage seer of coming trends, a major sucker upper, yes sir Mr. Michael, let me carry that for you sir!

 

[0dev]

I have a similar outlook, OP. If I can't pursue my dreams in life what's the point of being alive? To sustain myself so I can be mediocre until I finally die? F that. I want to achieve something with my time here, or at least try, otherwise I'm just wasting my short existence on this earth. I'd rather try to do something and fail a million times than never once try anything risky, live a dull boring life, and die knowing I was too much of a coward to even attempt to make anything I dream about actually happen.

 

[thedeejay]

I don't think there's an absolute number. You continually fail, but that's why you become better and learn and don't hopefully make those mistakes again.

 

[sviato]

You seem to be obsessed with the idea of being a successful business owner, you even said that you're really passionate about owning your own business. But are you passionate about an idea? Do you have a vision? Or are you just going to keep throwing products out there until one sticks?

It doesn't seem like the people you look up to started out by wanting to become businessmen, but by starting with an idea that they were passionate about.