How to convince a relative to not go into credit card debt to get an iPhone 6

Wrong forum for the question, really, since this a forum about iPhones and not one about finances, but, since you asked:

Offering her money not to spend money is like offering cocaine in exchange for not shooting heroin.

If she's truly just ignorant, start up a casual conversation, then give her a book to read. If you've tried before and she's ignored you, she's either not ready to listen or addicted to spending money. In those cases, you won't be able to help until she's admitted she has a problem and is looking for help.

 

First, I recommend not getting involved at all.

If you must get involved this is EXACTLY what you say. Don't sugar coat it.

 

Sounds like a question for ol' Suze.

 

I do not believe your soft approach will work.

Best to use the harsh approach.

If that fails cut off all relationship lest she drags you down with her.

 

Pay for her to go through financial peace University with Dave Ramsey

 

I wouldn't offer to pay for her phone with conditions of some online reading and video-watching. There's a difference between offering a helping hand (medical expenses, housing) and enabling someone who has poor debt management skills (phones).

Tough love is required in these situations, as other people stated above, and I can attest to that having been in your friend's situation in the past.

 

First of all, if she's not your child, you're wasting your time.

 

as soon as Apple catches up the supply with demand there is going to be an unprecedented glut of iPhone 6's on the market ie refurbs / returns / regrets etc. If she can wait 2 or 3 months I'll bet she can save 50%

 

Sounds like she needs an intervention.

 

This

 

Just don't get involved?

 

OPs Relative: Yes, I'd like to get

Suze Orman: DENIED!!!!

 

Dave Ramsey, buy her the book RIGHT NOW.

 

Lock her up in a room and let the detox take charge.

 

Look at it this way, no matter what she does with her finances she can never be dumber than this guy


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOWq5Zv81KQ

 

This has been a big issue in my family too and my advice depends on whether she's your daughter and if so, what her age is. If she's young, and it's appropriate, you can try to help her with her problem in a way that's truly helpful. But money as you know is SO tricky when it comes to relationships and histories. It could be argued that this isn't your business and she needs to figure this stuff out on her own and you need to have better boundaries around money - especially if during her childhood you unintentionally contributed to her dysfunction in one way or another (not saying you have). However I think there are plenty of situations in which your getting involved is appropriate...it totally depends on the situation, unhelpful as that sounds.

If you think you have been part of the problem (e.g. you were unavailable when she was a kid so you compensated with money or things bought with money and she's equated money with love, or you enabled her, etc) you'd do well to be very cautious, respectful, nonjudgmental, non-controlling and non-hypocritical in how you approach her. Guilt-tripping, shaming and controlling rarely works, even if it's done in a passive (or passive-aggressive) way. If you were part of the problem - and again I'm not suggesting you were - it would be wrong to then point out she's got this problem as if it's all her fault. Not if she's an adult, cause that window's closed unless you're willing to really get humble, open up and own your part of it with her in a sincere, non-manipulative way. It might sound extreme but therapy together could even be helpful if there's lots of baggage or more to the story.

I've always been surprised that there's not more financial advisors who are also psychologists. Having a degree in both would be brilliant and exceptionally lucrative I imagine!

 

Lol is this a real post? No place for iPhone 6 forums, we aren't money saving experts.

 

Offer an incentive she can't refuse, but has to be contingent on an action you want her to take, ideally involving reducing debt to a certain point.

 

You can't force another adult to do anything. A couple of years ago I was 5k in debt. I joined the army and a year and a half later, I was 20k in the red.

 

Just let her buy it on next or jump or whatever her carrier offers. No interest and guaranteed to be paid off in 2 years.

 

Sorry but theres nothing "cool" about saving $$.

Yolo!

 

She can simply get a job (didn't see anything about her working). Everyone is in debt at some point in their lives. If she's getting it subsidized then I personally don't think that $300-330 extra will make a significant difference. It looks like she just needs to work to start paying them off.

 

My first piece of advice would be to say what you want to say in short, simple, blunt sentences and walk away from the situation.

If someone is in serious debt, and 5K may not be a lot of debt depending on the income, and they are considering sinking even further in debt over a cell phone then being nice about the problem won't work. Also, giving a "gift" and then listing rules and regulations on how that "gift" can be used is a quick way to alienate someone or at least piss them off.

The problem with helping someone with financial problems is that in order to truly help you need to have access to all their finances. Most people don't want other people to have this type of access even if they are a relative. I would start with giving them the books and helping them create a realistic budge that helps them pay off their debt.