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How to feel happy

zblaxberg

zblaxberg

Guest
Original poster
Jan 22, 2007
873
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I'm only 17 and I've had depression for years...It doesn't really bother me much anymore but for now it comes and goes every once in a while. I listen to music and workout to try and distract myself. Sometimes I'll just sleep it out. How do you cope with those nights/days when you just feel down and unhappy?
 
Depends. Any one or combo of the following:

Yoga, Driving, Reading, A Bath, A Cup of Tea, Meditation, Shopping, A Good Movie, A Good Cry, A Drink or Dinner with Friends (or both), Some Time on the Heavy Bag

There are more. And it depends on the situation. But the above seem to work the best. :)
 
Spending time alone, listening to music, go outside on a nice sunny day, just getting on a skateboard and just cruising down streets...and sometimes just crying your eyes out
 
Do something truly selfless and charitable for someone else.
 
For me it seems to change a lot. When my parents divorced while I was in grade school, I would play a lot of video games to pass the time. In high school I took up photography as a hobby, and in College I would play racquetball. I graduated two months ago and I've been waiting for some job offers, but in the mean time I've been feeling depressed while I wait. I love my chosen profession so I think that will help once I get a job, but job hunting all day in an unfamiliar city has taken a toll on my happiness. I've been on the forums a lot more in the last two months though, and it passes time, but I don't know if it has made me happier...

These are just little things, but the times when I've been happiest are when I know I've been making a difference, even if it is a small one.
 
zblaxberg said:
I'm only 17 and I've had depression for years...It doesn't really bother me much anymore but for now it comes and goes every once in a while. I listen to music and workout to try and distract myself. Sometimes I'll just sleep it out. How do you cope with those nights/days when you just feel down and unhappy?
Click to expand...

17 and depression go hand in hand don't they? You need a girlfriend and a job.

Happiness is:

Something to do
Something to hope for
and someone to love
 
I find listening to some really upbeat music helps. It is part of adolescence I think though. I was 16 and suffering from severe depression and wrote some really scary poetry in that time.
 
obeygiant said:
17 and depression go hand in hand don't they? You need a girlfriend and a job.

Happiness is:

Something to do
Something to hope for
and someone to love
Click to expand...

girlfriends make things so much more complicated:(
its nice to have someone there for you, and someone you can be there for, but there will always be stressful times, and you may eventually get your heart ripped out and kicked around on the ground...
But anyways im also 17 and when im feeling down i like to do all of the stuff ill list hear. all of these things get my mind off of everyday life...

I like making a small stupid little programs in C in Xcode,
playing xbox all day long,
going out with friends to take your mind off of things,
reading a good book,
im planning on replace the bad capacitors on a motherboard soon so i guess tinkering with stuff would be something good to do,
putting linux on your ipod if you have one,
play lots and lots of starcraft!!!
watching all six star wars movies in one sitting,
going to some thrift stores and sifting through all of the old computer equipment and maybe coming across something awesome,
building stuff, i still use all my old legos at times,
going to drive around listening to music,
playing my mandolin,
writing poetry,

so yah those are some things i do to take my mind off of things...:)
 
Read Authentic Happiness' by Martin Seligman

It's a really interesting and well written book on the subject by a renowned psychologist.

He recommends that you do something 'flowful' - that is, some task that's slightly demanding, that will cause you to concentrate, that will test your skill, that gives you a sense of purpose, that will leave you with a feeling of accomplishment.

- Ride a bike
- Play a musical instrument
- Build something
- Find out about something - develop a hobby

etc. :)
 
I either go on a major cleanup of the flat or wade through any paperwork I've been putting off. The subsequent feeling of having achieved something always makes me feel better :)

As you're a teen though you have ample time to learn new stuff. Pick something you want to do and start working towards it.
 
Is it just me or are there a lot of unhappy people here on MR?

obeygiant said:
17 and depression go hand in hand don't they? You need a girlfriend and a job.

Happiness is:

Something to do
Something to hope for
and someone to love
Click to expand...

It's not that easy. I have my ups and downs, but as my brother constantly remind me: I don't know what depression is. My brother is a freaking genius but in summer school every year because he fails at least one class a year for odd reasons.

Whenever I've tried to cheer him up, I sometimes do more harm than help. Anyway, it's something only YOU can change, if you're unhappy.

To the OP, try reading Stumbling on Happiness. It's not a book about how to be happy, rather how happy works. Interesting read.

In terms of me, I'm upset or sad when I don't get something I want, like a job. Job hunting was a terrible phase for me. But things worked out in the end, probably because I'm outgoing. I was miserable during high school (who isn't?), happier in college, but happiest while living abroad - away from family, their pressures, etc. It actually changed my life, which is why I'm going back.

And I'm bringing my brother with me to travel for a few weeks before I start my job. Hopefully that'll motivate him.
 
Maui said:
Do something truly selfless and charitable for someone else.
Click to expand...
I second this. I don't know the OP personally and so I can't say if this applies to him (her?), but when you're seventeen years old it can be easy to wallow in self-pity. (It can also be easy to do that when you're 37 years old).

Getting involved in your community, whether it's volunteering with a charitable organization or some other group, is a good way to stay busy, meet people and take the focus off of what are probably temporary disappointments in your life.
 
dynamicv said:
I either go on a major cleanup of the flat or wade through any paperwork I've been putting off. The subsequent feeling of having achieved something always makes me feel better :)
Click to expand...

Seconded! I'll tidy my room up when I'm - stressed, unhappy, procrastinating. It's a bit of a tip at the moment but I graduate soon and will have the ol' parents nagging me to get a job so no doubt it'll be clean again.
 
What you need is to have a new outlook on things, because happiness doesn't come from specific things. Happiness comes from living, and through living, you will find whatever it is that makes you happy.

If you're lonely, embrace new people. If you're bored, embrace new things. They usually go hand-in-hand. Try something new, and approach it with a new mentality.

I don't want this to sound weird, but if you surround yourself with new things/people, and force yourself to be happy for the sake of appearance, you might just end up finding yourself being happy in your new experience.
 
Spend time with people. Anyone. Trust me, it helps.

You are a little young, but if you go to college, go out to parties, joing clubs and groups.

Drugs will not help in the long run. I know you didn't mention that, but I just wanted to throw it out there.
 
Make sure to break a sweat and have a drink every day.:) It helps. Lots of sex couldn't hurt too. Depression comes from inactivity for me.

Sit around long enough and you'll loose all that seratonin (*sp?). A good sweat is much better for you than pills.
 
Music always seems to help, ignoring my problems with video games....although, I'm not "drepressed"...thats more of a solution for "I had a bad day" kind of thing
 
Lyle said:
I second this. I don't know the OP personally and so I can't say if this applies to him (her?), but when you're seventeen years old it can be easy to wallow in self-pity. (It can also be easy to do that when you're 37 years old).

Getting involved in your community, whether it's volunteering with a charitable organization or some other group, is a good way to stay busy, meet people and take the focus off of what are probably temporary disappointments in your life.
Click to expand...

Him*

Yea a lot of it is caused by girls and the fact that I leave for college in another state in 5 weeks and I leave a lot of important people behind.
 
Volunteer some of your time.Or serve dinner in a homeless shelter..It was one of the most humbling,and personally gratifying things,I'd ever done..
 
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