How to keep someone from walking all over you

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by foidulus, Mar 17, 2008.

  1. foidulus macrumors 6502a

    Jan 15, 2007
    There is this woman at work whom, despite being there 2x as long as I have, basically gets me to do all of her work, and yet whenever I need even a small favor, she never will help out. I get really mad, but there is only one person in this world I can hold a grudge against(not her), and to boot she knows exactly how to be charming and knows exactly how to get her way.

    How can I avoid having her walk all over me without sounding like an ass?
  2. Shotglass macrumors 65816


    Feb 4, 2006
    Start being busy with other things, when she asks you to do something, let her wait for a minute while you're doing important-looking stuff.
  3. alFR macrumors 68020

    Aug 10, 2006
    Is she your boss? If not, just start saying no, or saying "Certainly. To do that, I'll need to put (insert other bit of work) on hold, so I'll need to clear it with (insert boss's name).". She might stop when she realises that every time she gives something to you you're going to let the boss know.

    Alternatively, when she comes and starts asking you to do something, say something along the lines of "Hmm, I can see that this is important and I'd like to be absolutely clear about what you'd like me to do. Can we meet later on at (insert time) to talk about it please, as I'm in the middle of something else and can't give it my full attention right now?". That way she won't be able to just come and drop work on you, she'll have to turn up at the specified time and thus you'll become a less available resource.

    If she is your boss, you'll just need to deal with it: it's called delegation. :)
  4. mactastic macrumors 68040


    Apr 24, 2003
    Say "Yes, I can do that as soon as you bring me X" where "X" is the bulk of the work. Make her do the hard part, you put it all together and show the boss. ;)
  5. heehee macrumors 68020


    Jul 31, 2006
    Same country as Santa Claus
    Pretend you are busy and ignore her. Make sure you have 5000 windows open if you are using a Mac. :D
  6. Gelfin macrumors 68020


    Sep 18, 2001
    Denver, CO
    You've said she walks all over you, but you haven't really said how. There are a lot of ways people do this, and the best way of dealing with it will probably vary based on her M.O..
  7. Mindflux macrumors 68000


    Oct 20, 2007
    It helps to:

    A) Not be a midget.
    B) Not to be laying down.
    C) Have a spine.
    D) All of the above.
  8. MrSmith macrumors 68040


    Nov 27, 2003
    If she really is taking advantage of you then I would say stopping her walking all over you and you sounding like an ass are mutually exclusive. Being an ass would be continuing to let her do it.
  9. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
  10. djellison macrumors 68020

    Feb 2, 2007
    Pasadena CA
  11. 7on macrumors 601


    Nov 9, 2003
    Dress Rosa
    Here at work I recently told someone that she'd have to go through my boss before plopping any work on my desk.
  12. nickster9224 macrumors 6502a


    Nov 6, 2006
    35 Miles From Chicago, Illinois
    Ask her REALLY nicely. if she says no shell look like an assface
  13. topicolo macrumors 68000


    Jun 4, 2002
    Ottawa, ON
    This is what you have to say every time she makes a request. Repeat after me:

    "what do I get out of it?"

    while she's thinking of something, you can add "since you're so charming, you can give me a backrub while I consider if I should do anything for you" :D.

    Trust me. The ladies love it when you have a backbone :cool:
  14. Silver-Fox macrumors 65816


    Jan 8, 2007
    Lie, "Yes ill do that" then leave it, and just say you didnt get your other bit of work down then she explain to the boss why she hasn't done it, unless she is your boss
  15. YeahIKnow macrumors member

    Feb 27, 2008
    Being in love has it's drawbacks, hasn't it?

    I've been there. We've all been there and it's a really horrible situation. What's even more horrible is when she brings in her new boyfriend/partner/husband that she loves more than life and only then do we realise how much time we've wasted.

    Don't look on this as any weakness on yourself. You've obviously been brought up well and have manners. She obviously hasn't. Find another girl to adore. Chances are you'll find someone that appreciates it! :D

    Good luck!
  16. hotsauce macrumors 6502a

    Sep 7, 2005
    Wirelessly posted (Apple Communication Device: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU like Mac OS X; en) AppleWebKit/420.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.0 Mobile/4A102 Safari/419.3)

    She sounds hot.
  17. ezekielrage_99 macrumors 68040


    Oct 12, 2005
    The best way to not be treated like crap is to treater others like crap first....

    And remember "Duty has no sweethearts"

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