*Humor* HUGE security flaw discovered with Apple iOS devices

Discussion in 'Apple, Inc and Tech Industry' started by Bernard SG, Oct 21, 2011.

  1. Bernard SG macrumors 65816

    Bernard SG

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2010
    #1
    Experts from online security company www.protectmoronsagainstthemselves.com have discovered a gaping hole in Apple's iOS devices security : when left unattended, the most coveted Apple gadgets like the iPhone or the iPad can be stolen by third parties.
    According to Mr. Obvious, www.protectmoronsagainstthemselves.com CEO, Apple Inc. (AAPL) failed to implement basic security measures to protect consumers. "There are obvious solutions that the Cupertino engineers have sadly overlooked, such as designing the devices to auto-explode when touched by anyone else than its owner," says Mr. Obvious, adding that the absence of such elementary security features makes Apple devices utterly unsuitable for enterprise environment and recommending CIO's to avoid Apple at any cost.
    Mr. A. StroTurfer, www.protectmoronsagainstthemselves.com 's Head of Mobile Security Engineering advises corporations to hold back from deploying iPad and rather wait for the up and coming Windows 8 Tablets expected to come in 2012: "Those will come with a proper Antivirus and it's safe to say that nobody would want to steal them whatsoever."
    Apple's PR, contacted about the issue, declined to comment.
     
  2. KeriJane macrumors 6502a

    KeriJane

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2009
    Location:
    ЧИКАГО!
    #2
    That must be an old article. :p

    We've got something better than auto-explode....

    We've got Find my iPhone / Mac / iPad :)
    Perfect for finding your iDevice without the gruesome necessity of filling out all those reports about exploded people. Instead, you can track them down and ask them nicely to return it!

    Maybe other companies like oh, say, Samsung or Microsoft could adopt auto-explode on their devices to prove that they're not just another cheap ripoff of an Apple product.
    In the case of Microsoft-enabled devices, auto-explode could improve performance as well as customer satisfaction.

    :apple: :apple:
     
  3. MacHamster68 macrumors 68040

    MacHamster68

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2009
    #3
    i dont think auto explosion would be in the interest of the owners :D

    so i am more for a cleaner approach for mobile phones in general , as not only iPhones get stolen , even cars get stolen nowadays
    a simple and effective clean approach would be if someone else other then the owner is touching any product then , a simple spike that fires out and injects some 20 -50 mg of TTX into the thief's bloodstream , simple and efective and the Phone or whatever product stays unharmed and can be easy found a couple feet away from the place the owner has last seen it , positive side effect the thief will never steal anything again :D
     

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