Apple: So out cool new iPod will have a cable nobody - not a single soul - ever uses, maybe except the DV people - called FireWire. Good luck finding it anywhere but that's what we'll ship.
Apple: ok so the last thing was a... success... in a manner of speaking. New connector, USB-A one end, our multi-pin nonsense in the other. Deal with it.
Apple: Oh yeah, we got this cool idea for a new (and proprietary) charging connector for our laptops... called MagSafe. Just snaps in place. Cool, huh? Now it's 3 different cable standards we have, only one of them found on other products.
Apple: ok so the last idea was fine but our customers struggle to understand what way they have to plug their cable into their iPhones. We made this Lightening cable... or rather chip and connector thing, you see it's not just a cable it loads software from connected device and... why do we even bother explaing to you plebs... cable number... yeah 4, not our fault that USB-Micro is one sided.
Also Apple: right, old MagSafe out, new in. Completely incompatible... again, deal with it, don't be a cheapskate and just buy the thing.
Apple, again: FireWire is like a retarded cousin with criminal history - nobody wants to hang around with him. We got our guys, and Intel, and we made this cool new Thunderbolt cable. What's it good for? Well, it's fast. Who uses it? Some of our products do, and it will catch on. Guaranteed. BUY IT!
Apple, yet again: Last cable 2as about as popular as sand in a desert so... new, cool Thunderbolt standard! Uses USB-C plug.
Some guy: Yeah but didn't you have like...
Apple: *throws a heavy old iMac at some guy* SHUT YOUR F***ING MOUTH!!! As we were saying, cool new standard, this time we have many companies onboard... it will literally replace ALL cable like monitor cables, power cables, docking cables...
Some guy: So we'll get it on the iPhone too, right?
Apple: *pulls out a Glock*
Some guy: *runs*
Apple: Also we told everyone this new Thunderbolt/USB-C cable will be used for everything... small correction; we have Magsafe 3 - completely incompatible with the two before it - will only charge, no data transfer, you plug that in with the USB-C end into an adapter and connect the MagSafe 3 one to your laptop. Shut your stupid f***ing face, be happy we let your dumb bloodline even exist, and use it already.