My brain tends to work in overdrive when I'm taking a shower, and this morning was no different. I won't go into detail of the shower scene (though I'm sure some of the single hetero/bisexual ladies and homosexual guys here on MR would love to read it), I will discuss my thoughts, and maybe I can get some advice on how to fix this personality flaw I found in myself.
So, being an only child, I was always the center of attention with my parents. I didn't have to compete for attention, I was used to just getting it.
Looking back on my life, wether it be friends, school, etc. I have noticed a trend; I am an attention whore. Not the best choice of words, but there you have it. I never liked hanging out with more than one or two really good friends, because I didn't like sharing their attention with other people that I'm not so close with. At school, I've never done well because I 'have trouble' with some of the assignments, and 'need' the teacher's help with it.
But it's not a one way street; my brain assumes that other people think the same way, and I end up smothering people with my attention, which is just as bad, if not worse, then expecting attention from other people. A lot of people get annoyed with me when I'm like this, while others just sort of ignore me (neither response is enjoyable).
One major example in my life right now is my girlfriend. I give her so much of my attention (too much maybe) and I don't always get it back. This week she's hanging out with her best friend that she doesn't get to see very often, and while consciously I accept and understand that, something inside of me is craving for some attention from her.
Another example that you may have had first hand experience with is the "Ghall Saga", my series of threads dealing with my girl experiences. The first one or two where genuine, I was really looking for help. But after the attention I began to get from them, I just kept going. While nothing I wrote in those threads is made up, I did sort of exaggerate and dramatize the problems.
So, yeah. I thought about all that during a 5 minute shower, and I don't know what to do about it. I guess my first step should be to apologize, though I don't want to make it sound like my apology is a another cry for attention. Then my second step should be to change, but I don't even know where to begin.
Thanks for reading, any advice would be appreciated.
So, being an only child, I was always the center of attention with my parents. I didn't have to compete for attention, I was used to just getting it.
Looking back on my life, wether it be friends, school, etc. I have noticed a trend; I am an attention whore. Not the best choice of words, but there you have it. I never liked hanging out with more than one or two really good friends, because I didn't like sharing their attention with other people that I'm not so close with. At school, I've never done well because I 'have trouble' with some of the assignments, and 'need' the teacher's help with it.
But it's not a one way street; my brain assumes that other people think the same way, and I end up smothering people with my attention, which is just as bad, if not worse, then expecting attention from other people. A lot of people get annoyed with me when I'm like this, while others just sort of ignore me (neither response is enjoyable).
One major example in my life right now is my girlfriend. I give her so much of my attention (too much maybe) and I don't always get it back. This week she's hanging out with her best friend that she doesn't get to see very often, and while consciously I accept and understand that, something inside of me is craving for some attention from her.
Another example that you may have had first hand experience with is the "Ghall Saga", my series of threads dealing with my girl experiences. The first one or two where genuine, I was really looking for help. But after the attention I began to get from them, I just kept going. While nothing I wrote in those threads is made up, I did sort of exaggerate and dramatize the problems.
So, yeah. I thought about all that during a 5 minute shower, and I don't know what to do about it. I guess my first step should be to apologize, though I don't want to make it sound like my apology is a another cry for attention. Then my second step should be to change, but I don't even know where to begin.
Thanks for reading, any advice would be appreciated.
