I Just Came To A Self Realization

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by ghall, Apr 16, 2008.

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  1. ghall macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #1
    My brain tends to work in overdrive when I'm taking a shower, and this morning was no different. I won't go into detail of the shower scene (though I'm sure some of the single hetero/bisexual ladies and homosexual guys here on MR would love to read it), I will discuss my thoughts, and maybe I can get some advice on how to fix this personality flaw I found in myself.

    So, being an only child, I was always the center of attention with my parents. I didn't have to compete for attention, I was used to just getting it.

    Looking back on my life, wether it be friends, school, etc. I have noticed a trend; I am an attention whore. Not the best choice of words, but there you have it. I never liked hanging out with more than one or two really good friends, because I didn't like sharing their attention with other people that I'm not so close with. At school, I've never done well because I 'have trouble' with some of the assignments, and 'need' the teacher's help with it.

    But it's not a one way street; my brain assumes that other people think the same way, and I end up smothering people with my attention, which is just as bad, if not worse, then expecting attention from other people. A lot of people get annoyed with me when I'm like this, while others just sort of ignore me (neither response is enjoyable).

    One major example in my life right now is my girlfriend. I give her so much of my attention (too much maybe) and I don't always get it back. This week she's hanging out with her best friend that she doesn't get to see very often, and while consciously I accept and understand that, something inside of me is craving for some attention from her.

    Another example that you may have had first hand experience with is the "Ghall Saga", my series of threads dealing with my girl experiences. The first one or two where genuine, I was really looking for help. But after the attention I began to get from them, I just kept going. While nothing I wrote in those threads is made up, I did sort of exaggerate and dramatize the problems.

    So, yeah. I thought about all that during a 5 minute shower, and I don't know what to do about it. I guess my first step should be to apologize, though I don't want to make it sound like my apology is a another cry for attention. Then my second step should be to change, but I don't even know where to begin.

    Thanks for reading, any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #3
    I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I posted all those threads, or the fact that you went through the trouble to find them. :rolleyes:

    Okay, but really, how do I change? Or can I?

    Edit: That last one doesn't count. That was a case of pure boredom. :p
     
  3. iFizz macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Location:
    Third planet from the star called "Sun"
    #4
    I'm going to ignore you. BUT, it's for your own good. ;)

    Seriously though, everyone likes attention. But too much of anything is bad. Everything in moderation man. Be cool....
     
  4. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Location:
    Bath, United Kingdom
    #6
    Not sad at all… just click on a username and… bing! A list of all the threads you have started… I didn't really go and count them one by one… no matter how much you'd like to believe that… ;);)
    :D:D:D
     
  5. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #7
    http://upc.*************/uploads/macros/startmanythreads.jpg

    :p

    You realized it, that's a start. You'll probably always have the urge/craving to be an "attention whore" but I'm sure with a bit of practice/control you can learn to keep it in check. It's not that big a deal but you have to learn not to smother people because it accomplishes the opposite of what you seek.
     
  6. SamIchi macrumors 68030

    SamIchi

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    #8
    Might I add vain the main characteristics of Ghall? :D

    Extrovert, introvert, tomato, tomato... I guess that doens't work in writing... It's just the way you are. Deal with it. I'm probably a bit more introverted than its good for me, but as along as it doesn't affect your life in a grave manner, there's no need to change. Unless, you really want to change, that's a personal choice.
     
  7. roland.g macrumors 603

    roland.g

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Location:
    One mile up and soaring
    #9
    Start with your sig. 3 of the 4 items have My at the beginning. Next, don't start any threads for at least one month. As a test or fasting. Next, for the same one month period, don't post any responses in threads that talk about yourself or ask for anything, instead only post if it is to help with someone else's problem. Be a true help. Use that as a building block towards your personal life. Remember it takes 21 days to create a habit. String three to four weeks of behavior together, and you can begin to change your patterns.
     
  8. shecky Guest

    shecky

    Joined:
    May 24, 2003
    Location:
    Obviously you're not a golfer.
    #10
    step 1: learn to be happy with yourself.
    step 2: ???
    step 3: profit!
     
  9. SamIchi macrumors 68030

    SamIchi

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    #11
    :D

    Look at Paris Hilton, attention Whore celeb.
     
  10. nomar383 macrumors 65816

    nomar383

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Location:
    Rexburg, ID
    #12
    I am Mormon and found this kind of funny :)
     
  11. roland.g macrumors 603

    roland.g

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    #13
    Actually I find it hard to. She's really kind of ugly.
     
  12. Much Ado macrumors 68000

    Much Ado

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    #14
    Is step 2 'find massive untapped supplies of oil'? I keep getting stuck on that one.
     
  13. iFizz macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Location:
    Third planet from the star called "Sun"
    #15
    Also, don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should see how many narcissistic traits/symptoms you have. If you can diagnose the problem (if in fact there is one) you can better treat it.
     
  14. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #16
    I know what you mean. I think. I'm the eldest of 3 but there have been times where my brother has been such an idiot that my parents would act really good to me to show that being good has its rewards. By good I just mean not taking drugs, not smashing the house up et al.

    And because I had a string of silly relationships in my mid-teens I tend to give probably too much attention and stuff to Caroline. Also doesn't help that her friends are close to here whereas mine can be difficult and distant.

    You'll be reet! You've spotted this now you can make little alterations to yourself and how you behave around other folk.
     
  15. applebum macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2003
    Location:
    SC
    #17
    Here is the problem - You realize that you love attention and that it is a problem. You then post to MacRumors so that you can get ....... ATTENTION for your realization. If you truly want to overcome your need for attention grabbing, might I suggest that your first step should be to ask a Moderator to close this thread and totally remove it so that you get no further attention....If the thought of actually doing that is too much for you to consider, then you do have a problem.
     
  16. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #18
    ^ problem with manipulation! :p
     
  17. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #19
    I appreciate all the advice. I think I know what it is I need to do.

    First I'm going to have this thread closed. Second, I'm going to ask my girlfriend and everyone else close to me to tell me if I'm being too smothering. Finally, I will talk to my therapist and see what he suggests.

    Thanks everyone, and I'm really sorry.
     
  18. xUKHCx Administrator emeritus

    xUKHCx

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