I just witnessed chld abuse

[Hmac]

I applaud you for stepping up to the point that you did...most people these days wouldn't have done that.

However, I don't think you did the right thing...I think you should have called the police. If that woman would repeatedly hit her child hard enough to make her bleed in public, with people watching, what is she capable of doing, and likely to do, to that poor child when they are in private?

 

[Mushrooshi]

I would be very worried of getting hurt myself. I am a 14 year old, and I know if I witnessed that I would REALLY, REALLY want to tell her to stop and threaten with police too, but unfortunatly, I wouldn't know how the aggressor would act in the situation.

I know a normal person wouldn't hit me at all, but for people like these, to bloody an 18 month is just signs of scary.

Kudos.

 

[iMpathetic]

Unfortunately, I can't agree with that. Many times abusers are people who themselves have been abused in the past. It ends up being a terrible cycle.

Yeah, sorry. I really don't know what the hell I'm talking about, and I was just really mad. So, regard that as why not to get me mad. Not saying I do things like that, I just get real revengey.

 

[Doctor Q]

I wonder if the best thing to do in a situation like that is to notify the authorities. Not a threat, not a warning, just call the cops and report exactly what you witnessed. A scolding from a stranger (which I agree takes more nerve than saying nothing) might make a temporary impression, but parents who think slapping a child is acceptable are going to do it again. They might even blame the child for the scolding they got from another adult. If we can't revoke their parenting license right then and there under citizen's arrest, at least we can make sure the incident is recorded somewhere as evidence.

 

[miniConvert]

I think you did the right thing.

Hopefully you scared the 'abuser' enough to make them realise that what they were doing was wrong. At the same time, you've given them the chance to learn from their mistakes.

Involving the 'authorities' may not have been wise. I mean, what's the best outcome one could have hoped for?

 

[Spikeanator6982]

I dont think slapping is anything wrong, some kids/people need a slap once in a while, or a spanking. but..i dont think this was near the right time or situation to do it. 18 months old, of course they're gonna cry, thats not a reason to get physical with an 18 month old. pretty impressive that you said something. you did the right thing.

 

[mlw1235]

Do you remember if the bus had video cameras?

I know the buses in Milwaukee have the little camera bubbles at least. Maybe it was caught on tape? You never know. I would still report it.

 

[notjustjay]

I think that another form of child abuse is being paranoid. REALLY paranoid. There's a friend of mine (who is in 9th grade) who is not allowed to come over anymore because he scratched himself on the pedal of a bike. He pretty much doesn't leave the house now, because his mother feels that he is in a state of mortal peril every time he leaves her watch. So, in a nutshell, I think leaving someone unprepared for real life is abuse. Just my $0.02.

I have a friend who, for a time*, thought he was deathly allergic to just about everything. Why? Because his mother found it a convenient way to control him. Didn't want him trying to sneak cookies in between meals? "Don't touch those! You can't have those, you're allergic!"

I didn't even think twice about it either, I just thought he was one of those allergy kids. It wasn't until years later that my mom told me what she had been doing. The guy's my age, but you can tell that something's not quite right up there, I hope not due to the mother's creative parenting tactics.


*At least, I HOPE he's figured it out...

 

[blumoon]

You did the right thing by calling her on it. Who knows, she may realize what she has done and get help. It's just not normal to hit a crying toddler. Poor thing.

Good for you for not turning the other way. We never know what kind of impact we have on others.

 

[Prof.]

You did the right thing... next time just call the cops.

 

[Mike Teezie]

Lee, you're a big guy - hopefully you scared the crap out of her, and she'll think twice about putting her hands on that little girl again.

I think you did the right thing. I also know I would have a heavy heart if it were me in the exact same situation. Even though you spoke up, there's just no way to know what's in store for the poor little girl from this point onward.

 

[synth3tik]

I think I would have felt good by smacking that lady across the mouth, but that would have done nothing for that little girl.

Sadly it reminds me of a time in a film class. I was in charge of editing my groups video. One of the people in my group had some footage of a lady screaming at a little girl in Macy's. He then followed her out to a cab where she smacked the girl. At first I thought it was staged as a lot of our stuff was. Then reviewing it with him and the instructor I asked "Did you stage that?" he told me no. When then from the video got the cab's company and car number, the description of the lady and her kid and gave the video to the police.

I never found out what happened. My group got an A, not because of the quality of our work, but because we decided to give the tape to the police instead of finishing our video.

 

[thebassoonist]

Wow- I was on the bus today and there was a woman on the bus with a little girl in a stroller who was screaming at the top of her lungs. The girl was maybe one and a half years old. At first I was completely annoyed, but figured she'd calm down after a minute. She didn't. The woman with her (I assume it was her mother) just sat there ignoring her. She screamed all the way over to where I got out. The woman got out with the little girl at my stop too. She then hit the little girl three times in the face, so hard her mouth started bleeding. Me being me, started screaming at her. I said, "Lady knock it off!" She said, "What?" I screamed, "I saw you hit her! You touch that little girl again and I'm gonna get the cops!" She just started to frantically wipe the blood off the girl's mouth. She said nothing and then started walking away with the girl screaming in the stroller. I was horrified.

The thing is- did I do the right thing? Could I have made it worse for that little girl once they got home? Also, part of me feels like I should have gotten the police. Ugh- I just felt so awful and scared to death for the girl. It's been bothering me all day.

I think you did the right thing but...I don't know where you are from, but I know in the US it is illegal for someone to witness child abuse and not report it. You scared the mother, but she is still a child abuser and will probably do it again. You did what you could, but next time (and this is advice for everyone) call the cops. Then let them take the case from there.

I just saw that you are from Chicago.

 

[juanm]

You should have called the cops. She'll keep doing it until someone takes care of it.
I always call the cops when I see something. Often for nothing, but I guess better safe than sorry. Anyway, everythime I get in the middle of something, cops end up coming ...

 

[leekohler]

Thanks everyone for the replies. I guess my reaction stems from when I was younger and bullied a lot. I made a promise to myself back then that if I ever was capable of stopping such things, I would speak up. When I was younger I was super skinny and very sensitive. I got picked on a lot and beaten up a few times. When I got older, I started working out and now am 6'3" and about 200 pounds. It can be empowering to say the least. I am no longer afraid to stand up for myself or others. I know it sounds like I'm patting myself on the back, and maybe I am. I have also unwittingly probably bullied others as a result. But this incident really upset me. I had to say something because I guess I know what it's like for no one to stand up for you. And it was a little girl, for god's sake. I guess I probably don't expect to see this woman or her girl again. I just hope I did some good.

 

[madfresh]

You did the right thing. Even if you called the cops they probably wouldn't have even caught her.

 

[true777]

I think you were incredibly brave doing what you did. However, for the sake of the child, I think you should also call the police and report exactly what you saw. Try to remember any details that might help identify the woman -- age, dress, where she got on and off the bus, time, did she call the child by a first name, brand of stroller, etc.

Also, make sure to call CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES in your city. They take such reports very seriously. Remember, the behavior abusive parents exhibit in public is generally only the tip of the iceberg, and what such children have to go through at home is often ten times worse. In addition, if this woman is ever cited for even more serious behavior in the future, a previous report on file at the police and at child protective services (from your report) will make sure she can't talk her way out then (e.g;., claim it was a household accident, etc).

An 18 month old toddler in a town close to us DIED recently from being hit repeatedly on the head, and the reason was that child protective services allowed him to be sent back home to his mother from the hospital where he had been reported by the doctors because of suspected abuse. The mother claimed a household accident and they let him go home because there were no prior reports on her. A few weeks later he died from blunt force trauma to his head. Autopsy showed he had been beaten black and blue repeatedly since his early BABY days, and had even been ANALLY RAPED by the mother's boyfriend. This child was 18 months old, and what he had to go through before finally dying was unspeakable.

Please report this.

 

[fistful]

I think you did the right thing Lee. I was in a situation in my early teenage years where my step father assaulted me in a public parking lot. He didn't injure me too bad but it sure scared the hell out of me. A bystander spoke up like you giving a few shouts at him which in turn stopped the assault. The next day children services and a police officer showed up at my school to have a talk with me. I denied the brunt of what happened because I was scared of being taken away from my mother and sisters. He came after me a few times after that where it felt like he was going to assault me physically but never laid a hand on me again after that previous incident. While you obviously were not in a position to get her license plate # to report her being reported may have scared her straight.

 

[leekohler]

I think you were incredibly brave doing what you did. However, for the sake of the child, I think you should also call the police and report exactly what you saw. Try to remember any details that might help identify the woman -- age, dress, where she got on and off the bus, time, did she call the child by a first name, brand of stroller, etc.

Also, make sure to call CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES in your city. They take such reports very seriously. Remember, the behavior abusive parents exhibit in public is generally only the tip of the iceberg, and what such children have to go through at home is often ten times worse. In addition, if this woman is ever cited for even more serious behavior in the future, a previous report on file at the police and at child protective services (from your report) will make sure she can't talk her way out then (e.g;., claim it was a household accident, etc).

An 18 month old toddler in a town close to us DIED recently from being hit repeatedly on the head, and the reason was that child protective services allowed him to be sent back home to his mother from the hospital where he had been reported by the doctors because of suspected abuse. The mother claimed a household accident and they let him go home because there were no prior reports on her. A few weeks later he died from blunt force trauma to his head. Autopsy showed he had been beaten black and blue repeatedly since his early BABY days, and had even been ANALLY RAPED by the mother's boyfriend. This child was 18 months old, and what he had to go through before finally dying was unspeakable.

Please report this.

I wish I could report it. But what do I tell the cops? I saw a woman on the sidewalk hit her child? Because that's all the info I have. That's kind of what made me feel so helpless.

I think you did the right thing Lee. I was in a situation in my early teenage years where my step father assaulted me in a public parking lot. He didn't injure me too bad but it sure scared the hell out of me. A bystander spoke up like you giving a few shouts at him which in turn stopped the assault. The next day children services and a police officer showed up at my school to have a talk with me. I denied the brunt of what happened because I was scared of being taken away from my mother and sisters. He came after me a few times after that where it felt like he was going to assault me physically but never laid a hand on me again after that previous incident. While you obviously were not in a position to get her license plate # to report her being reported may have scared her straight.

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope my actions had the same effect on that woman. Thanks for posting that, it made me feel a lot better.

 

[eric55lv]

I saw chlid abuse at a McDonalds the other day,So I went to Wal-Mart and I got hungry so I went to McDonalds.Made an order then sat down and waited at a table and there was a guy like 5 or 4feet tall and like in his mid 40s and he walked up to the manager and compailned and yelled about his order then my order was ready got it sat down and ate the the guy yelled and punched his son he was like 1year old because he was screaming and his wife was like 4to5feet tall and like in her early 40s also did the same the yelled at his husband and started cusing all over the place they were very rude then she said im leaving and it sounded like she is cheating on him they had a fight then she took her son and puposly smacked him (REALLY REALLY hard)I could not do anything beacuse they were rude so I did not want to get in to it it was sad and to this day I feel very giulty that I did not do anything(this is like my longest post)

 

[EricNau]

I wish I could report it. But what do I tell the cops? I saw a woman on the sidewalk hit her child? Because that's all the info I have. That's kind of what made me feel so helpless.

Call anyway - tell them everything you can (location, physical description of mother and child). Although unlikely, maybe someone else already reported the incident and this will just reenforce their case.

Whether you have enough info or not, I'm sure they'll be appreciative.
(Note: Use your phonebook to locate your Police department's non-emergency number or CPS. Do not call 911.)

 

[juanm]

Sorry to revive the thread, but if you tell the cops what you saw, the estimated age of the mother, and the location, maybe (maybe, as I don't know how it works in the US) they can show you a file with already reported people and you can recognize the mother. Sometimes it depends on one small thing, and even though it'll probably bring nothing, it's one of your duties to report this kind of things. At worst, you'll lose some of your time. At best, you can hel to make a difference in this child's life.

 

[Abstract]

I once saw something and did something about it. One minute later, I was around 3 cm away from having my neck slit by a broken bottle.


But you did the right thing. You should have called the police on her, though. If that's what she'd do in public, then she's doing worse to that kid at home.