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"I love you"s

tobefirst ⚽️

tobefirst ⚽️

macrumors 601
Original poster
Jan 24, 2005
4,612
2,337
St. Louis, MO
I recently started dating a wonderful girl, and for the first time in forever, it feels like this relationship could go somewhere. As such, the title will likely become relevant at some point...the exchange of "I love you"s.

I'm not so much concerned about when the right time for me to say that will be- I'll figure that out on my own- but I thought it might be fun to see how soon (or late), everyone has first uttered these words to the person they are with now, or their last significant other.

So, how long did it take? And, did the other person reciprocate right away, or was there significant time between your "I love you" and theirs (or vice versa)?
 
You shouldn't have to actually say it if your actions speak for themselves.
 
There will come a time when you want to tell her, and that'll be the right time. It could be tomorrow, it could be six months away.

A few years ago, I met this girl that I fell in love with very quickly. I couldn't resist the urge to tell her, and after only three weeks I blurted it out. (However, this was three weeks seeing each other every day, hanging out constantly, talking all the time). She seemed spooked, and was definitely taken aback, but about 30min later said it back, after realising she'd fallen as quickly as I.

I know that isn't a regular occurrance, but I'm just trying to illustrate the point that if you feel that way, it shouldn't feel like something you need to hide.

The only other time I've said it to someone, it was just over two months in. She said it first. It made me smile. I said it back. It was a good day.
 
bigandy said:
There will come a time when you want to tell her, and that'll be the right time. It could be tomorrow, it could be six months away.
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Oh my gosh. :)

I'm totally not asking when I should say it to her. I just thought it might be fun to discuss how long that has taken for those in relationships, or for those relationships that have ended.

This is not a Ghall thread. d-:
 
A few short weeks in and he said it. It was a total "me too!" moment. We both knew it anyway and it was sort of a relief to say it, I think. We don't do anything in halves. :D
 
It took a ridiculously long time for me and my girlfriend (now wife) to get passed the awkward 'I love you stage.' We both knew it but both were too chicken to say it. We had met in September and started spending time together as friends in January. I finally asked her out in April only to have her go home (300 KM away) 2 weeks later.

It took us about 4 months to say it, I said it first and she immediatly followed with 'and I love you' (a long with a lot of tears:p). Our relationship had mainly been over the phone and computer with a few sporadic surprise visits from me when I could get off work. It was the first relationship of any kind (serious or 'testing the waters') for either of us. And I think we were both afraid (stupid I know) of ruining it because it was so perfect. We dated over 2 years, mainly seeing each other during the school year and finally got married this past May.

If I had to do it over again, I would have said it earlier. I can't think of a good reason to wait if you know for sure deep in your heart. Though I'm not big on flinging words around just for the sake of it, especially ones as meaningful.
 
I don't know exactly how long into the relationship it was, but for me, the exchange was actually one of the final things that assured me she really did love me. Normally you can't tell based solely on the words (and it wasn't, but it was like the thing that pushed it over the edge), but my girlfriend and I have dated twice. The first relationship was terrible, very rocky and abusive. I had to break up with her that year (that was Freshman year). She would never give me kisses, she'd rarely hug me, and there was no "I love you." She just wasn't into that whole thing. That summer passed, though, and when school was almost back in, I saw a complete transformation. She came back from a trip to New Jersey, and actually contacted me to say "I missed you. Let's go for a walk." and the first thing she did was give me a big hug when we started our walk. I was a bit confused at first, because it was just so unlike her, but I saw that something was completely different. Our current relationship started that day, on August 25th, and each day, I knew a little bit more that this was something amazing. At some point, after a while, I said "I love you," and when she said it back, it was one of the best moments, I'd say, of our early time together. Right now, it's 17 days away from being our two-year anniversary, and we've had the greatest relationship possible. I don't even say that lightly: Our relationship has literally been perfect, mainly due to the fact that neither of us ever fret over little things, so there's never any of those stupid arguments that tear people apart. So, at this point, an I love you is very common, and to Marie: I do :D I know kids tend to be naive in relationships, but just watching our relationship day-to-day, and looking at others, I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

Sorry for the long, mushy post. I'm crying a little bit. :eek:
 
I am logged in to the right forum, right? This is MacRumors and not the relationship forum, right?

Dont mean to annoy the OP or anything, but there are a lot of these recently!!!!

Anyway, I shall still give my oppinion on the issue :)

In my one previous experience, my girlfriend said it to me first and since then we said it to eachother all the time basically. I think it was a week or two after going out when she said it, I was amazed it was so early TBH, but, yeah, you will know when its right!
 
PowerFullMac said:
I am logged in to the right forum, right? This is MacRumors and not the relationship forum, right?

Dont mean to annoy the OP or anything, but there are a lot of these recently!!!!

Anyway, I shall still give my oppinion on the issue :)

In my one previous experience, my girlfriend said it to me first and since then we said it to eachother all the time basically. I think it was a week or two after going out when she said it, I was amazed it was so early TBH, but, yeah, you will know when its right!
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To be fair, this is the "Community Discussion" forum, which has the sub-heading "Random discussions about anything."
 
PowerFullMac said:
I am logged in to the right forum, right? This is MacRumors and not the relationship forum, right?

Dont mean to annoy the OP or anything, but there are a lot of these recently!!!!

Anyway, I shall still give my oppinion on the issue :)
Click to expand...

Oh good, because we were all desperately waiting for your input, which is always so valuable. *cough*
 
Three weeks into my last relationship, but we had been friends for over 5 years and had secret crushes on each other for over 10 months before we started as a couple. :eek:

Then she screwed up big time, but that's a story for another thread. :p
 
I hate rushing the ILU because nowadays it's lost it's real meaning. In my current relationship, it came about a month ago, lol. We've been together for almost 2 years but friends for about 4.
 
ZiggyPastorius said:
To be fair, this is the "Community Discussion" forum, which has the sub-heading "Random discussions about anything."
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True, which is why I did say I wasent trying to have a go at anyone.

Abstract said:
Oh good, because we were all desperately waiting for your input, which is always so valuable. *cough*
Click to expand...

Well, is the whole point of asking a question on a forum not to get a response? :confused:
 
I said it after a month with the girl I was with. Just felt like the right time. Always awkward saying that for the first time. Thank god I'm married now.
 
ninewhereman said:
I said it after a month with the girl I was with. Just felt like the right time. Always awkward saying that for the first time. Thank god I'm married now.
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Yeah, when it comes down to it.. the 'right time' is different for everyone. I think it's okay to say it when it feels right & there's no pressure.. no hidden agendas, etc. In today's world, it's hard for anyone to really believe the words when romance is practically dead & money/sex/power rule the world.. thankfully, love makes us realize the best things in life are still free.

heh, ain't love grand? lol
 
My ex-wife used this sentence far too regularly, which somehow spoiled its magic for me. Just as dllavaneras wrote, it became an everyday affair just like "Nice weather, isn't it?".

I wish there was someone I could say it to these days.
 
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