I need to rant. I am currently in law school, UC Hastings, in California. I moved here from New York. And over the past few days, I begun to ask myself "what the **** am I doing here?". I love California and San Francisco, and I am happy I moved here. It's law school I am talking about. I just graduated with BA's in philosophy and history, two subjects I really enjoy. I went through 5 years of school. And now I'm in school again. And I realized I'm just ****ing sick of it. If it's something I'm interested in, I would have more stamina. But I could give two ****s about law. I came here because I want a good job. A job that a BA couldn't give me. But I don't know WHAT. If it is up to me, I would continue my education in philosophy. Perhaps teach philosophy or even history. Because I am genuinely interested in those subjects. But the job prospects aren't great. And people look to me to succeed. Lawyer is something that says success just from reading the word. I could have gone to medical school or business school. I had to pick, and I picked law. Now, I don't know why I picked it because I was afraid I would not be a "success" in others' eyes. Why would I give two *****? This goes against my life philosophy in fact. And yet I did. And now I feel like I am stuck. I went through so much to get here, the LSAT, the application process, the move. The only part I didn't mind is the move, I would happily remain in San Francisco. It would be a disappointment to others if I bailed. It would seem like I am running away from the work laid in front of me. It might be, I don't know. But wouldn't I be motivated to do the work, if I feel I am in the right place? I feel like I should have taken a year off to get away from school for a bit, and find myself. But would I actually find myself? I don't know. Then I feel like I should have followed my heart and gone to study philosophy in the graduate level, jobs be damned. Or even go after one of my previous goals, to be a history teacher. Aw hell, I have no idea. This is getting miserable for me, and it's not even the law studies that's miserable, it's just being here. I haven't even begun doing any of my readings for class, because I so ****ing not want to. I don't know. Would you read this and think I'm just being lazy? I don't give a damn about my grades, even though I know my grades will be so important in the next couple years. But to study study study and get good grades, so you get into a well-paying job, then work, work, work. You work hard to get more work. What the hell is that? Ok I think I should stop ranting now. I don't know why I'm posting this, and I don't know what I'm looking for. But here it is for all to see.