I really want to help my family. Desperate here. Please advise

[noobsaibot1]

Thank you for reading this first of all and offering good constructive feedback. Please no negative responses. It does not help anyone.

I'm in Utah by the way

I have a wife and two young kids that deserve a better quality of life than what I can give them right now. It's embarrassing to say I'm 41 years old and work a dead end job. I have ADHD which has hindered me in my past jobs also part introvert. Although I have a thin build and look early 30's. Most of my past jobs have been warehouse and production jobs which I do not like.
I'm a route driver for a dry cleaning company. I have been to numerous beautiful homes! Wow! I sometimes daydream that my two young kids are playing in the back yard in that house I just saw.

After my route was over and driving back to the dry cleaning company at 7 pm. I started to cry. I was crying because of all the stupid mistakes I have done in my past. I went to a semester at college when I was 19 while I was living at my mom's house. I won't bore you with any more of my past mistakes. Wished I was 19 years old again so I can take my education more seriously and fix all the mistakes I have done. Porn took over my life from 16 to 21 years old. I'm so glad I conquered my porn addiction. But it ultimately led me to have bad grades back in high school because I went to high school less and less as I got older.

What I really want is a computer related job. Either a coding job in the future or a I.T. related job. I don't care if I have to stay up late studying and learning. Just want the best for my family. Some of my other family have told me "you're so good with computers or "you're a natural with technology". Why don't you have a computer job? I tell them because all these companies want years of experience and in depth knowledge.

I really like learning about anything computer systems related. Back in Maryland a long time ago used to work for CompUSA I knew a lot more than some of the salesman and I was just the merchandiser. Manager would tell the customer noobsaibot1 knows.

I just want to know what's a good first step to getting a job in the computer industry? My wife and I do not make a lot of money. I'm asking Internet strangers because I'm OVERWHELMED with so many options. I do not know where to begin. Khan academy, free code camp, pay to get certifications, etc. I do not have the funds or the space to set up my I.T. lab either.

I do not want to waste my time a year from now. I want to spend my time as efficiently as possible. Just want an affordable way to get a good job in the computer industry. Get my foot in the door.

Thank you again for anyone that has good advice for me.

 

[Huntn]

I know nothing so you probably don’t even want to hear from me. Yet, I’ll ask would a Microsoft certification, help you in any way as a starting point? I realize this may not have nearly enough to do with coding. 🤔

 

[macbetta]

Certs and community college could help you a lot to get formal IT qualifications. Another suggestion is to get into marketing. A lot of places hire marketing coordinators to do social media, light design tasks, etc. and typically can have less requirments for formal qualifications. Start building yourself a portfolio by doing free work, picking up projects on places like fivver, and just making your own case studies etc. Learning google ads is also helpful for these positions.

 

[eyoungren]

I just have a question about your motivation. Everyone wants the best for their families, but are you doing it for the right reasons?

Motivation for the wrong reasons (guilt/shame, keeping up appearances, nagging, etc) will only get you so far. I was motivated to get myself out of my parents house at 27 years of age because I no longer wanted to be a bum. I finished the AA degree in 1998 that I had started on in 1992 (when I was 21).

You got over your porn addiction because (and I'm guessing) you wanted to feel better about yourself. Do this for the right reasons and do not allow the bad choices of your past to guilt you. Yesterday is gone, you have to focus on today.

What's most important, IMO, is that your family knows you love them and are doing your best for them. My father thought that if all he did was provide the trappings everything would be just fine. Well it wasn't. I hated him and his interference in my life and he died alone in some medical facility. I knew he was there, but I never called him before he died. I'm 52 now and I am still trying to unravel the trauma that his passive-aggressive self inflicted upon me. I'd have rather he'd been present.

Be a dad and a husband - that is what your family deserves.

My son is at ASU (Arizona State University) getting a degree in IT, so if I can pass along anything useful I will.

Oh, for the record…I've got 23 years in the graphic design business and currently I make close to $17/hr. UPS/FedEx drivers and tow-truck drivers make more than I do, and you probably do too.

 

[imnotthewalrus]

Careers at Apple: Join a team and inspire the work.

Learn how we work and find your area of interest and expertise.

www.apple.com

I wish you well. Though I'm 65, We share a few similarities including ADHD. I worked for Apple from 2007 to 2016 as a Creative (Trainer of software use). They are not hiring right now in Retail, but they are often looking for At Home Advisors. They will train you. Just a thought. I wish you well.

 

[velocityg4]

An IT lab can be super cheap. You don't need the latest hardware. Dumpster diving or electronic recyclers will get you the stuff you need for that. To mess around with Linux, PFSense, Virtual Machines, NAS with cloud storage, Windows Server trials, &c. Old So, maybe spend $100 to $200 to get what you need. Just some old towers or old server, a smattering of used hard drives, ethernet cards, beat up LCD and such. You can also get used Cisco managed switches pretty cheap off eBay. If you want to learn that.

Remember, you're not making production ready systems. You're just learning how the software works and how to configure it and networking stuff. It doesn't really matter if it is a cheap POS in terms of hardware. Configuring a first gen i7 as a server is the same thing software wise as a $250K server. There'll be more complexity in what connects to what due to scale. But the principals the same.

But if you just want to make money. Go into the trades. Electrical, HVAC, Plumbing, Carpentry and such. If you are actually willing to work hard, work to improve your skills and focus on doing nice, clean work. You'll eventually make a lot of money. There's lots of incompetent people in construction. Ones who do a good job do really well. Especially when they start working for themselves and getting referrals.

 

[macbetta]

I just have a question about your motivation. Everyone wants the best for their families, but are you doing it for the right reasons?

Motivation for the wrong reasons (guilt/shame, keeping up appearances, nagging, etc) will only get you so far. I was motivated to get myself out of my parents house at 27 years of age because I no longer wanted to be a bum. I finished the AA degree in 1998 that I had started on in 1992 (when I was 21).

You got over your porn addiction because (and I'm guessing) you wanted to feel better about yourself. Do this for the right reasons and do not allow the bad choices of your past to guilt you. Yesterday is gone, you have to focus on today.

What's most important, IMO, is that your family knows you love them and are doing your best for them. My father thought that if all he did was provide the trappings everything would be just fine. Well it wasn't. I hated him and his interference in my life and he died alone in some medical facility. I knew he was there, but I never called him before he died. I'm 52 now and I am still trying to unravel the trauma that his passive-aggressive self inflicted upon me. I'd have rather he'd been present.

Be a dad and a husband - that is what your family deserves.

My son is at ASU (Arizona State University) getting a degree in IT, so if I can pass along anything useful I will.

Oh, for the record…I've got 23 years in the graphic design business and currently I make close to $17/hr. UPS/FedEx drivers and tow-truck drivers make more than I do, and you probably do too.

Only $17/hr? I don't make much more (around $22/hr - salaried though), but I'm in my late 20s and do not have a lot of career experience outside of my 10 years of freelancing and side projects. (I have no degree as well) Is it just the area you live in? Around where I live, not near any major city either, $15-$17 would be the starting pay for most jobs involving graphic design. Your skills deserve more and are in demand these days!

 

[eyoungren]

Only $17/hr? I don't make much more (around $22/hr - salaried though), but I'm in my late 20s and do not have a lot of career experience outside of my 10 years of freelancing and side projects. (I have no degree as well) Is it just the area you live in? Around where I live, not near any major city either, $15-$17 would be the starting pay for most jobs involving graphic design. Your skills deserve more and are in demand these days!

All of my experience is print, specifically in newspapers. My first job was as an Ad Compositor for a daily. Around $10 an hour in 1999. Part of our reason (my wife and I) for leaving Southern California in 2000 was because of the 'higher' paying jobs in Phoenix, AZ. My longest job here was from May 2004 to November 2018 at a small weekly newspaper. I was the Composing Manager in a composing department of one (me). At that time I was salary and making the equivalent of $20+ an hour. It's what allowed my wife and I (who was not employed at that time) to get a new car and a new home.

But that business was sold in 2018 and the new company already had designers on staff. I'm currently employed by a company that produces golf scorecards and yardage books. My wife has also since become a certified teacher and has been working for the last year and a half.

It was a big pay hit, but at the time I was looking most jobs out there I was not prepared to take for various reasons. Before COVID and working from home became my permanent status, the job was a 30 minute trip each day, an hour and a half with traffic. Not such a big deal if I wasn't trying to make it work with a 25 year old car.

I've done a bit of freelance in the past and am open to that again, as well as any additional jobs I might take on. But, this job I see as fairly recession-proof even if the pay is not high. The rich will golf, whatever state the economy is in. Which means golf courses want scorecards and yardage books and I stay employed.

 

[diego.caraballo]

First a big shout-out to @eyoungren for sharing wisdom and his personal life experiences here.
I felt closely related.

@noobsaibot1 After many years of struggle I arrived to a kind of basic conclusion: life's hard. Really hard.
That clear path that we were raised on in which will be study, then work and finally accomplish all the good things
that we need and deserve is not that clear anymore.
With that realization I comprehended that "failure" is not a bad word, is something that everyone will experience
at some point. Then I forgave myself and slowly started to build (a work in progress) my inner peace.

If you are not in peace with yourself, if you keep looking at your past failures you will never move on. It's a weight
that you need to let go as soon as you can get. Being regretful and sad makes you miss the important things in
life, your family, your friends and the fact that you are alive.

My second realization was to be grateful. It's really important, it brings context and deep to your life. You will never be happy if you are not grateful. You need to be to fully appreciate the good things when they happens.

The third one was about my personal happiness. Because most of the people are trying to pursuit an ideal kind
of happiness. And it's not universal, everyone experience it in a different form. When you find what makes you happy you will be more focused on achieving the important goals in your life. And maybe you discover that is not a fancy house or a car.

When you are personally ready to the journey it will be much more straightforward. Not easy (it's not).
Getting a new job or working by yourself it's much easier if you project self-confidence, peace, that positive
energy that other people (bosses or customers) will notice.

Having said that, my first advice will be to put your head in order, define your goals and then make a plan
together with your family. Of course, having a budget, financial goals, etc is also necessary.

Finally about work. I do believe that anything related to computers (specially coding) is saturated right now.
Tech in general is suffering with layouts and the outlook is not great for the next years.

Much of the best money making opportunities in life happens when you find something that's is missing in the market. And the market can be your own neighborhood. Keep your mind open to have you own business, maybe something that you can do together with your wife. I once read about a guy in New York earning six figures just by replacing iPhone displays on-site, while the customer was eating launch in their work break.
There are people working from home in your town? Maybe they need a tech guy to setup a couple of monitors, printers, a better internet connection...or other small business need to upgrade their work computer.

Or maybe what's missing is home-made food for people that don't time to.
Search for the current opportunities and make a plan. Maybe you find out that old traditional path of studying > working for someone else is not for you.

It wasn't for me and while late, I’m happy to finally have discovered it out.

Best luck!

 

[Pezimak]

Thank you for reading this first of all and offering good constructive feedback. Please no negative responses. It does not help anyone.

I'm in Utah by the way

I have a wife and two young kids that deserve a better quality of life than what I can give them right now. It's embarrassing to say I'm 41 years old and work a dead end job. I have ADHD which has hindered me in my past jobs also part introvert. Although I have a thin build and look early 30's. Most of my past jobs have been warehouse and production jobs which I do not like.
I'm a route driver for a dry cleaning company. I have been to numerous beautiful homes! Wow! I sometimes daydream that my two young kids are playing in the back yard in that house I just saw.

After my route was over and driving back to the dry cleaning company at 7 pm. I started to cry. I was crying because of all the stupid mistakes I have done in my past. I went to a semester at college when I was 19 while I was living at my mom's house. I won't bore you with any more of my past mistakes. Wished I was 19 years old again so I can take my education more seriously and fix all the mistakes I have done. Porn took over my life from 16 to 21 years old. I'm so glad I conquered my porn addiction. But it ultimately led me to have bad grades back in high school because I went to high school less and less as I got older.

What I really want is a computer related job. Either a coding job in the future or a I.T. related job. I don't care if I have to stay up late studying and learning. Just want the best for my family. Some of my other family have told me "you're so good with computers or "you're a natural with technology". Why don't you have a computer job? I tell them because all these companies want years of experience and in depth knowledge.

I really like learning about anything computer systems related. Back in Maryland a long time ago used to work for CompUSA I knew a lot more than some of the salesman and I was just the merchandiser. Manager would tell the customer noobsaibot1 knows.

I just want to know what's a good first step to getting a job in the computer industry? My wife and I do not make a lot of money. I'm asking Internet strangers because I'm OVERWHELMED with so many options. I do not know where to begin. Khan academy, free code camp, pay to get certifications, etc. I do not have the funds or the space to set up my I.T. lab either.

I do not want to waste my time a year from now. I want to spend my time as efficiently as possible. Just want an affordable way to get a good job in the computer industry. Get my foot in the door.

Thank you again for anyone that has good advice for me.

Get certifications, its the first thing IT companies seem to want these days, and have a good positive attitude and be keen to learn.

 

[akidokraja]

Youtube is your friend. I started from zero and learned everything related to iOS and Android development through Youtube, also some stackoverflow. It took me two years to develop my first app and publish it. I went to BestBuy and bought my first MacBook (cheapest possible - I think you can get a new one for about $700 or used for less) and practiced at night after getting home from 9-5 work and practiced till after 2-3 AM sometimes. If you want to program just get a cheap computer and install Visual Studio Code, Python, etc. Better yet if you can get a Mac and add Xcode. Then, just follow simple tutorials and do not give up - it will be very frustrating at first but do not give up. Coding is mostly repetition/stubbornness, some middle school math, and some logic.

 

[Elviss116]

Mobile dev friend.

Kotlin or swift.

 

[eyoungren]

With that realization I comprehended that "failure" is not a bad word, is something that everyone will experience
at some point. Then I forgave myself and slowly started to build (a work in progress) my inner peace.

That is and still remains a mountain I am climbing, with various degrees of success. My father was very good at punishing failure while taking credit for my own success, to the extent that his son (me) just gave up even trying. If I succeeded, he would try and take credit and if I failed I'd be yelled at. So, if I never tried or made any effort, neither one happened. It led to me being seen as the family f-up and having an intense fear of failure.

My wife has made strides in working on me since we met, but it's really only after my dad died that I was able to get free of his influence.

 

[Richard8655]

I'd echo a previous recommendation. Local community colleges offer many access points to good jobs and pay. Yes, computer classes for a future career in IT would be a good start. But I'd say don't limit yourself to the computer field.

The need for medical technicians and technology is booming, especially as the boomer and later generations are retiring and need medical care. Community colleges are a great place to get a certificate or associate degree (2 years) in this field, which is and will be in high demand.

 

[macbetta]

All of my experience is print, specifically in newspapers. My first job was as an Ad Compositor for a daily. Around $10 an hour in 1999. Part of our reason (my wife and I) for leaving Southern California in 2000 was because of the 'higher' paying jobs in Phoenix, AZ. My longest job here was from May 2004 to November 2018 at a small weekly newspaper. I was the Composing Manager in a composing department of one (me). At that time I was salary and making the equivalent of $20+ an hour. It's what allowed my wife and I (who was not employed at that time) to get a new car and a new home.

But that business was sold in 2018 and the new company already had designers on staff. I'm currently employed by a company that produces golf scorecards and yardage books. My wife has also since become a certified teacher and has been working for the last year and a half.

It was a big pay hit, but at the time I was looking most jobs out there I was not prepared to take for various reasons. Before COVID and working from home became my permanent status, the job was a 30 minute trip each day, an hour and a half with traffic. Not such a big deal if I wasn't trying to make it work with a 25 year old car.

I've done a bit of freelance in the past and am open to that again, as well as any additional jobs I might take on. But, this job I see as fairly recession-proof even if the pay is not high. The rich will golf, whatever state the economy is in. Which means golf courses want scorecards and yardage books and I stay employed.

Small world! I get contacted frequently by a company that does scorecard ads lol.

 

[casperes1996]

There's a lot of good advice already here and I don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said. But I want to say that I wish you the best of luck wherever the path goes. And regardless of anything else, remember that you have your family to stand with and even if things are hard, then their love and your love for them, and sticking together, is something good to smile about.

And to others who have shared some emotional stuff on this thread. Thank you for sharing. I wish all of you good luck as well. As said byDiego, life's hard. It can be good to have goals, but don't beat yourself up about falling short. It happens to everyone from time to time. Enjoy the good moments, take a step at a time and as a wise guitar teacher has said to me many times; Don't compare. It works for any aspect of life but if you keep comparing your guitar skills with those who are better than you, you will never be happy. Cause there's always someone better. Some may have practiced longer, some are just naturals. It doesn't matter. Appreciate what you have, how far you have come, and the things you enjoy with what you can do. Strive to learn and have fun with it. I'm not always good at following that advice myself. It's easy to think too much about what you should or could be. But what you already are has a lot of value too.

 

[Mousse]

Have you considered MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses)? Some top universities offers their courses on MOOC, so it's legit. It's free to learn, but you can pay a trival fee to received certification that you completed and passed the course.

I'm taking a classroom interaction course--offered by UPenn--to learn how to get my students involved in the classroom. I got wrangled into a volunteer teaching gig by the Missus.😶

 

[Beefbowl]

If you're near the Salt Lake area, I'm going to suggest tech support. There are a ton of tech companies in that region and there is a trend towards moving support departments back to the US after many years of outsourcing to India, the Philippines, etc.

It's not glamorous! But it's definitely the "I'm good with computers but not specifically good at any one thing" career path, and it can build up to some decent money. I actually moved out of support and into software dev / QA for a few years and then realized that I was making WAY less per hour with all of the crunch and unpaid overtime. In support I do my 8 hours and if the guy on the other end of the phone is still having a bad day when I hit quitting time I hand him off to my colleague in Australia.