Ok to counter OP 1st and super short post, I will counter with a huge novel.
I think if you want a good answer you have to let us know what your use case is.
For me, I really don't think year over year upgrades are worth it anymore for my use case, and look at my signature. I've usually upgraded; the XS max has been my last upgrade. I might hold out another year since I don't think the 12 will fundamentally change how I use the phone. So far when I look at the rumors for the 12 pro max I have to ask myself if it will make a noticeable difference on my day to day use of my iPhone, and for me and what I do, I don't think it will. Its going to get bigger, but that's not really a good thing for me since 6.5 was pretty big already and nowhere have I said jeez they really need to make a bigger iPhone. The screen on the XS max is damn good, I'm not going to notice a 5% increase in whatever quality measure they have improved. The night pics will be better but with COVID I don't foresee traveling oversees in 2020 so to vacation with a nice phone for pictures was one reason I upgrade, and the XS max is pretty good for pictures already, the nighttime is good, but of course I want it to be great. But.... again not going fly oversees for vacation in 2020 its not really a big deal for me. The speakers, that was one reason why I upgrade before because I like listening to loud podcast or loud YouTube videos, again the XS is good already.
Battery life, ok I would like that upgrade, LOL but with fast charging, I don't see the battery life on the XS max a massive inconvenience. I usually drive to work and fast charge it, and that last me the whole day. By 5pm I usually have 50% life left. Then go home and fast charge and come home with 90% battery life. Even now that the battery has degraded to 94%, I've noticed a difference a difference in battery life, fast charging fixes that when I can top off for 20 mins while I shower, or when I drive.
My question to myself on my next upgrade is "will I feel a noticeable difference when the newness wears off." Will I notice a slightly smaller notch on an already great screen on the XS max?
The only think is if I super crack the screen I'll have to debate whether I should upgrade or if I should fix the screen. Right now I have a chip on the right top area of my XS max that is on the bezel. Its not noticeable. I might fix it and give it to family or something the upgrade but its ok for now.
Anyway sorry for the full novel here but TLDR I have to feel the difference.
I just upgraded to a 2019 16in refurbished 1tb 16gb ram mbp. I paid about $2.6k...Anyway, wow what a difference. The 2017 was a good computer for my uses. But man the keyboard, it is super nice, it feels like... the old keyboard, just wonderful to type on and fast. The screen is huge. The speakers are fantastic (listening to an acoustic Alice In Chains song right now). I went from 128gb MBP 2017 to a 1tb, and its nice having my 60gb iTunes collection on my computer again and not on an external. I can't wait to install boot camp on this and loud up games, and of course edit drones footage. So this upgrade was huge for me, and I am looking for the similar type of jump as the iPhone 13 or whatever model I'll go to next.