If Apple and Google made cars...

Discussion in 'Apple, Inc and Tech Industry' started by Armen, May 1, 2014.

  1. Armen macrumors 604


    Apr 30, 2013
    The Apple Car:

    - Comes in 3 colors

    Owners of a Apple Car:

    - Bought the car under the impression that the car maintains itself, washes itself and fills up its own gasoline because after all, it Is a "Apple" Car.

    - When an issue arises the owner complains to friends and strangers about their Apple car rather than taking it to the dealership to be looked at.

    - Has less than efficient gas mileage due to the fact that the trunk is full of all kinds of old junk and announces to the world that the Gas mileage on the Apple car stinks!

    The Google Car:

    - Comes in all shapes, colors and sizes.

    Owners of the Google car:

    - Bought the car because it's bigger than the Apple car and tell their friends and family that another deciding factor was that they could totally customize the car to fit their needs although 6 months after purchase it still looks exactly the same as it did when it left the lot.

    - Know enough about cars to maintain the car themselves between visits to the dealership.

    - Will try and troubleshoot any issues that come up themselves or take it in to the dealership.

    - The Google car owner will turn the car off at every red light, drive under the speed limit, accelerate slowly, keep the windows rolled up and keep the Air conditioning off in hot weather just to conserve gas.
  2. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    May 23, 2010
    Shady Dale, Georgia
    The Apple Car Owner will have a small white Apple sticker on the back left lower window.
  3. roadbloc macrumors G3


    Aug 24, 2009
    And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.
  4. Peace macrumors Core


    Apr 1, 2005
    Space--The ONLY Frontier
    The Umbuntu Car sits in a lot and it's sold as the "best car for your money".
    When you drive it home it doesn't seem as well built as it did sitting on the lot.

    I sold it and got an Apple Car.
  5. oldhifi macrumors 65816


    Jan 12, 2013
    People would install aftermarket parts and wonder why is is running so slow..


    Yes but it's 8.1
  6. Renzatic Suspended


    Aug 3, 2011
    Gramps, what the hell am I paying you for?
    Windows Car 8.1 runs great without any problems, but you can only get in and out of it through the hatchback cuz it doesn't have any doors on the side, and you have to climb underneath the bumper and flip a switch to turn it off (even though there's a switch on the side of the car no one knows about that does the same thing).
  7. Tech198 macrumors G5

    Mar 21, 2011
    Australia, Perth
    who wouldn't want to drive round with an Apple logo embossed on the front :)

    It would probably drive itself though .... :p

    Plus Google does have their self driving car...its just not public yet...

    lol.... People do enough of that already... This would just make it worse.
  8. quagmire macrumors 603


    Apr 19, 2004
    The Google Car owner will brag about their 600 HP V8 under their hood even though that huge engine is required to move that heavy car at a decent pace.

    The Apple Car will have a 300 HP V6 and is faster than the 600 HP Google Car because of its lighter weight.

  9. snberk103 macrumors 603

    Oct 22, 2007
    An Island in the Salish Sea
    An Apple car comes in any colour you want… as long as it's aluminium. :)
  10. 556fmjoe macrumors 65816


    Apr 19, 2014
    The BSD car will arrive in a box with an assembly manual.
  11. LizKat macrumors 68040


    Aug 5, 2004
    Catskill Mountains
    If my Apple car gets broken unintentionally then I can replace it twice for only $490 under AppleCar Plus? Could be a selling point, depending on how much the AppleCar Plus coverage goes for...
  12. G4er? macrumors 6502a

    Jan 6, 2009
    Temple, TX
    If you want a spare tire or back seat or anything else that used to fit inside you now have to pull a trailer with those items externally.
  13. ChristianVirtual macrumors 601


    May 10, 2010
    I drive both: that Umbuntu Car for all the bulky and dirty transportations and the Apple Car for my day-to-day rides. I just don't like the 30% price increase when I'm sitting "in-car" at the gas pump. To avoid I have to go out and fill up by myself.
  14. stroked Suspended


    May 3, 2010
    After two years, the iRide would only get up to 20 MPH, due to the forced OS updates.
  15. Armen thread starter macrumors 604


    Apr 30, 2013
    After 2 years car parts for your Google car will no longer be stocked by Google Dealerships.
  16. The Doctor11 macrumors 603

    The Doctor11

    Dec 15, 2013
    New York
  17. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    May 23, 2010
    Shady Dale, Georgia
    After two iOS upgrades my iCar would no longer be able to run current iOS and slowly less apps would be available for it,
  18. tech4all macrumors 68040


    Jun 13, 2004
    Apple car about the size of a Mazda Miata (but with rumors of a stylish four door sedan coming). Available in black, silver, or white. Made in aluminium. Then there would be the Apple Car C available in many colors, but made in Magic Plastic.

    Apple cars will only take fuel that first has to get approved by Apple to avoid any toxins; you can only fuel the car at the iService Station.

    Google cars would come in many sizes and variations. You could use regular gas at regular gas stations are other alternative fuels. Most likely would be safe to use, but if you go to a shady station, use caution.

    Apple Cars would have only an automatic transmission.

    Google Cars would have both an automatic and manual transmission.

    Apple Car drivers would tell Google Cars drivers that that's too complicated. Google Car drivers would tell them you have little to no control over what their car does.

    Ok I'm done...

    If Apple came out with a self driving car, here come more lawsuits!

  19. G51989 macrumors 68030


    Feb 25, 2012
    NYC NY/Pittsburgh PA
    Would it also slow down and be unable to load the app to exit the highway?

    That would suck if you had to pee.
  20. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    May 23, 2010
    Shady Dale, Georgia
    However, some would figure out how to Jailbreak the iCar, unleashing the world of untested apps. The iCars would crash and fail at random along the interstates. Unapproved third party apps would be blamed.
  21. snberk103 macrumors 603

    Oct 22, 2007
    An Island in the Salish Sea
    And then don't forget the club of hack-in-cars makers who will spend all their free time assembling parts from the other car makers using zap-straps and duct-tape, and shoe-horning it all into a really cool fibreglass shell body. It will run the Apple Car's software, but everywhere they go they have to car a large tool box - and will need to be prepared to pull over to the shoulder and 'tweak' something under the hood.... especially after fuelling up.

    At their club meetings they will go on for hours about how much money they saved, and how much more horsepower their engine has compared to the Apple car. Which is true when tested on the 1/4 mile drag strips... but the Apple Car still seems to win the 24 Hour LeMan's race consistently.
  22. carjakester macrumors 68020


    Oct 21, 2013
    well, i laughed more than once out loud reading these.

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