If Apple and Google made cars...

Discussion in 'Apple, Inc and Tech Industry' started by Armen, May 1, 2014.

  1. Armen macrumors 604

    Armen

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Location:
    127.0.0.1
    #1
    The Apple Car:

    - Comes in 3 colors

    Owners of a Apple Car:

    - Bought the car under the impression that the car maintains itself, washes itself and fills up its own gasoline because after all, it Is a "Apple" Car.

    - When an issue arises the owner complains to friends and strangers about their Apple car rather than taking it to the dealership to be looked at.

    - Has less than efficient gas mileage due to the fact that the trunk is full of all kinds of old junk and announces to the world that the Gas mileage on the Apple car stinks!

    The Google Car:

    - Comes in all shapes, colors and sizes.

    Owners of the Google car:

    - Bought the car because it's bigger than the Apple car and tell their friends and family that another deciding factor was that they could totally customize the car to fit their needs although 6 months after purchase it still looks exactly the same as it did when it left the lot.

    - Know enough about cars to maintain the car themselves between visits to the dealership.

    - Will try and troubleshoot any issues that come up themselves or take it in to the dealership.

    - The Google car owner will turn the car off at every red light, drive under the speed limit, accelerate slowly, keep the windows rolled up and keep the Air conditioning off in hot weather just to conserve gas.
     
  2. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Location:
    Georgia
    #2
    The Apple Car Owner will have a small white Apple sticker on the back left lower window.
     
  3. roadbloc macrumors G3

    roadbloc

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Location:
    UK
    #4
    And the Windows car would randomly crash with no explanation.
     
  4. Peace macrumors Core

    Peace

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Location:
    Space--The ONLY Frontier
    #5
    The Umbuntu Car sits in a lot and it's sold as the "best car for your money".
    When you drive it home it doesn't seem as well built as it did sitting on the lot.

    I sold it and got an Apple Car.
     
  5. oldhifi macrumors 6502a

    oldhifi

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    #6
    People would install aftermarket parts and wonder why is is running so slow..

    ----------

    Yes but it's 8.1
     
  6. Renzatic Suspended

    Renzatic

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Location:
    Gramps, what the hell am I paying you for?
    #7
    Windows Car 8.1 runs great without any problems, but you can only get in and out of it through the hatchback cuz it doesn't have any doors on the side, and you have to climb underneath the bumper and flip a switch to turn it off (even though there's a switch on the side of the car no one knows about that does the same thing).
     
  7. Tech198 macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Location:
    Australia, Perth
    #8
    who wouldn't want to drive round with an Apple logo embossed on the front :)

    It would probably drive itself though .... :p

    Plus Google does have their self driving car...its just not public yet...

    lol.... People do enough of that already... This would just make it worse.
     
  8. quagmire macrumors 603

    quagmire

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2004
    #9
    The Google Car owner will brag about their 600 HP V8 under their hood even though that huge engine is required to move that heavy car at a decent pace.

    The Apple Car will have a 300 HP V6 and is faster than the 600 HP Google Car because of its lighter weight.

    ;)
     
  9. snberk103 macrumors 603

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Location:
    An Island in the Salish Sea
    #10
    An Apple car comes in any colour you want… as long as it's aluminium. :)
     
  10. 556fmjoe macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2014
    #11
    The BSD car will arrive in a box with an assembly manual.
     
  11. LizKat macrumors 68040

    LizKat

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Location:
    Catskill Mountains
    #12
    If my Apple car gets broken unintentionally then I can replace it twice for only $490 under AppleCar Plus? Could be a selling point, depending on how much the AppleCar Plus coverage goes for...
     
  12. G4er? macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Location:
    Temple, TX
    #13
    If you want a spare tire or back seat or anything else that used to fit inside you now have to pull a trailer with those items externally.
     
  13. ChristianJapan macrumors 601

    ChristianJapan

    Joined:
    May 10, 2010
    Location:
    日本
    #14
    I drive both: that Umbuntu Car for all the bulky and dirty transportations and the Apple Car for my day-to-day rides. I just don't like the 30% price increase when I'm sitting "in-car" at the gas pump. To avoid I have to go out and fill up by myself.
     
  14. stroked Suspended

    stroked

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    #15
    After two years, the iRide would only get up to 20 MPH, due to the forced OS updates.
     
  15. Armen thread starter macrumors 604

    Armen

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Location:
    127.0.0.1
    #16
    After 2 years car parts for your Google car will no longer be stocked by Google Dealerships.
     
  16. The Doctor11 macrumors 603

    The Doctor11

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2013
    Location:
    New York
  17. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Location:
    Georgia
    #18
    After two iOS upgrades my iCar would no longer be able to run current iOS and slowly less apps would be available for it,
     
  18. tech4all macrumors 68040

    tech4all

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    NorCal
    #19
    Apple car about the size of a Mazda Miata (but with rumors of a stylish four door sedan coming). Available in black, silver, or white. Made in aluminium. Then there would be the Apple Car C available in many colors, but made in Magic Plastic.

    Apple cars will only take fuel that first has to get approved by Apple to avoid any toxins; you can only fuel the car at the iService Station.

    Google cars would come in many sizes and variations. You could use regular gas at regular gas stations are other alternative fuels. Most likely would be safe to use, but if you go to a shady station, use caution.

    Apple Cars would have only an automatic transmission.

    Google Cars would have both an automatic and manual transmission.

    Apple Car drivers would tell Google Cars drivers that that's too complicated. Google Car drivers would tell them you have little to no control over what their car does.

    Ok I'm done...

    If Apple came out with a self driving car, here come more lawsuits!

    :D
     
  19. G51989 macrumors 68030

    G51989

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Location:
    NYC NY/Pittsburgh PA
    #20
    Would it also slow down and be unable to load the app to exit the highway?


    That would suck if you had to pee.
     
  20. Southern Dad macrumors 65816

    Southern Dad

    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Location:
    Georgia
    #21
    However, some would figure out how to Jailbreak the iCar, unleashing the world of untested apps. The iCars would crash and fail at random along the interstates. Unapproved third party apps would be blamed.
     
  21. snberk103 macrumors 603

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Location:
    An Island in the Salish Sea
    #22
    And then don't forget the club of hack-in-cars makers who will spend all their free time assembling parts from the other car makers using zap-straps and duct-tape, and shoe-horning it all into a really cool fibreglass shell body. It will run the Apple Car's software, but everywhere they go they have to car a large tool box - and will need to be prepared to pull over to the shoulder and 'tweak' something under the hood.... especially after fuelling up.

    At their club meetings they will go on for hours about how much money they saved, and how much more horsepower their engine has compared to the Apple car. Which is true when tested on the 1/4 mile drag strips... but the Apple Car still seems to win the 24 Hour LeMan's race consistently.
     
  22. carjakester macrumors 68020

    carjakester

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Location:
    Midwest
    #23
    well, i laughed more than once out loud reading these.
     

Share This Page