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Discussion in 'Apple, Inc and Tech Industry' started by gkarris, Feb 9, 2007.
What would the "Microsoft Store" look like?
there'd be lots of bad typography.
overuse of the word "wow".
perhaps the walls would be painted brown?
The outside sign would say "Microsoft, We OWN You" (A play on Conglomo, we own you form Rocco's Modern Life)
There would be BSODs on all the computers.
A sign that says "You ain't cool unless you're in the social!" (Bill Madison ripoff)
I can also see the walls being painted brown.
- There would be a store located five minutes away from your home, but it would be the most useless of nine different versions of the store, and you would have to drive to the Ultimate version of the store two hours away to get anything you actually wanted.
- An employee would politely ask you if you wouldn't like them to hold onto your wallet for you while you shop, since you might lose or forget it.
- The doors wouldn't open the first time you leave, because you'd have to click through a dialog box confirming you do, in fact, wish to leave.
- All of the products would be displayed on talking kiosks that start randomly telling you about themselves if you come close, and would be very difficult to shut up.
- When you get your cart to your vehicle, it will remind you to clean out the junk in your interior.
staff would first have to 'allow' you to enter, and would follow you closely throughout the store, restricting what you can look at and requiring similar permissions.
Ha ha ha! I love it!
How can they even really have a store? They have hardly any hardware to sell except mice, keyboards, Zune's and Xbox's. They'd have to demo their software on other manufacturer's computers and I'm sure companies like Dell would be ticked if they were only using HPs etc...
c'mon - get into the spirit of it! Wouldn't you love a store designed and run like windows?
The stores wouldn't have doors until revision 3.0
"Introducing the totally original ('not-at-all-worried-about-or-trying-to-keep-up-with-Apple') Microsoft Store.
"Now selling the Zune and Origami Personal Computer.
"Ask our dedicated staff about which Vista product is perfect for you.
"The 'wow' starts now!"
(My Photoshop skills rule )
Oh, and on Fridays, Steve Ballmer would come monkey dancing through the store, screaming "Customers! Customers! Customers! Customers!" and frightening your children.
Oh, and there would be three random women rolling around on each other on the floor. One of them separated from the other two and ambiguously either crying out in pain or achieving orgasm.
- You'd enter the store through the door marked "In" and you'd also exit the store through the door marked "In," but then you'd be asked if you really wanted to go in or out.
- On entering, you'd be required to convert all of your currency to the Microsoft format. You'd be allowed to convert it back when you left, but you'd get back less than you had when you came in.
- If you told the clerk that you were "just a browser," he'd force you to wear a hat that says "Microsoft Internet Explorer" for the entire time you were there.
- Speaking of browsers, Microsoft would build high-speed trains running from urban city centers to their stores, calling them ActiveTransport, but only thieves would ever use them, and would use them so frequently that the crime would spill over into neighboring non-Microsoft stores.
- They would have fits-for-sure shopping bags for your convenience, however, none of their products released after December 2006 will actually fit in the bags.
- They will not allow you to run with scissors.
- From the moment you walked in the front door, you'd be followed around the store by a clerk. Every time you stopped to look at something, he'd say "I can see you're interested in ____? Can I take that off the shelf for you?" You'd have to immediately say "no," or he would automatically put the product into your hands.
- All of the clerks would be named "Bob."
I would hate to walk in there, because most likely I'll walk out with a virus and head straight to the ER.
My guess is it would look something like this:
Microsoft had a store in the Metreon here in SF. It only lasted a couple of years, and closed in 2001.
Reminds me a little of JCPenney's.
LOL LMAO ROFL!!! I can't stop laughing! I keep picturing that video of him going nuts on M$s 25 bday or whatever it was. LOL. Steve Ballmer is such an idiot
Wouldnt a Microsoft store just be a giant Windows Vending Machine?
it would have country hills painted on the walls and the the color scheme of the building would be green and blue.
When you went to pay they'd get the BSOD. outside it would look like OS X but then you get closer and it would be a brick building with 3D images painted on it.
When you get inside there would be a guy standing there like John Hodgman in the 'sales pitch' get a mac video.
There would be a bunch of screaming kids inside and WAY to loud music.
also there would be no need for security devices because they wouldn't work if they had them plus nobody would steal them
lastly there woul be an undergound tunnel to the appe store so the employees could spy on it
people asking about macs and the sales people would deny macs exsisting
as soon as you walk in theres a person to greet you that coughs ans sneezes on you then asks if you want to continue but doesnt give you the choice to say no
Alright alright... I may have been in a little too bit of a serious mood when I posted. I just saw the words Microsoft and Store and immediately tried to think of any reason as to why they could/should not have their own store
Instead of Geniuses, they'd employ Window Washers.
Microshack: Crap vista and poor security.
The shopping experience would go something like this:
-"You are about to enter the MicroSoft Ultimate shopping Experience Mega Store - Cancel or Allow"
-"A store attendant is approaching you - Cancel or Allow"
-"The store attendant wants to ask if he can be of service - Cancel or Allow"
What would be funny if one of us went into a Microsoft store with a friend dressed up as a 'security' guy and keep asking you 'cancel or allow' questions while at the checkout.
You are about to Purchase Vista. Cancel or allow?