Making fun of Bob isn't going to help things. 🙄
Bob, you own one of the most exciting tech device ever created, this is something out of Star Trek but obviously if you aren't getting enjoyment out of it, that won't matter. Give it time ok? It hasn't reached it's potential yet! Just hang on for a bit, perhaps find other uses for it or step back and find out how to maximize the iPad's use for you right now.
Bob, don't return it right away, wait while and if it's still not a good fit, then you shouldn't keep it.