I'm thinking that I'm going to quit drinking.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by east85, May 27, 2012.

  1. east85 macrumors 65816

    east85

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    #1
    I just need to quit drinking, period. I am in college right now and I feel like I'm killing myself. My friends always ask me to go out and drink and I just do the stupidest things. There are nights I don't remember and hangovers that ruin entire days. I never thought I'd be in this situation but I know it's the social thing to do in college. I am tired of it. I'm tired of doing the dumbest stuff. I'm tired of making a fool of myself and I'm tired of destroying my life. I don't know what to do. I just want to stop. I don't drink every day but when I do drink I drink way too much.

    I've started reacting very badly to drinking. Hangovers are worse than ever. I experienced actual psychosis after this past weekend (coming off of a 2 day binge). Auditory hallucinations, seeing things faintly, etc. I couldn't even get any rest today because I had vivid imagery flashing with my eyes shut. This is not characteristic of me, I never have any thing like this ever, but after doing some research I found out it's a real thing. I'm just over it, and that was scary as hell. My friends are going to be so upset, but I just feel like I should care about myself more. I mentioned not drinking wednesday because there's a special or whatever at the bar and they had this look on their face like I just killed their cat or something.

    I'm a social drinker and people enjoy my presence that also drink but, I don't want anything to do with it anymore like I said. I can't control myself. I honestly think sometimes when I make it home, how easy it would have been for me to just fall and die or something. I have scrapes on my elbows now and I got a pretty bad one on my chin last weekend. I am just sick of it... I want to forget all about drinking and live a new better life. I can count 3 events that I'm invited to between now and Sunday that will no doubt involve drinking and I just don't want to do it anymore. :|
     
  2. jknight8907 macrumors 6502a

    jknight8907

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2004
    Location:
    Hudson Valley NY
    #2
    Sounds like an excellent choice. Now's the time to quit, before it turns into a problem you can't control. If your "friends" are upset that you won't kill yourself with them, are they really friends?
     
  3. eternlgladiator macrumors 68000

    eternlgladiator

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2010
    Location:
    Twin Cities
    #3
    Sounds to me like you need to learn control more than anything. I don't think I've had more than a few occasions like you described but I know it's bad. Either way. Your friends should understand. If not, then they probably aren't great friends.
     
  4. hafr macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    #4
    Not being able to say stop is a sign of alcoholism, alcoholism that can be caused by psychological problems. Problems you don't even have to be aware of. It doesn't have to be, but since you're in the process of change, maybe go to the psych department of your college and ask to talk to someone? Worst case scenario, you go there a few times and have nothing to say.

    Or take the easy route and get some Antabus from your doctor or your pusher (yes, I realize the irony): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram

    Whilst it could be due to the alcohol, only a two binge makes me think it's most likely lack of food, sleep depravation and dehydration that are the main culprits. Then the paranoia from coming down from the alcohol worsened the situation.

    Tell them why. If they still react the same way, they're not your friends. Get new ones.

    Then don't. Get a gym membership, start climbing or do something else that you know can keep you occupied and help you keep yourself away from drinking. The hardest thing to do when stopping an addiction is to fill the void, the boredom, during the initial period. It's actually more about switching addiction than anything else.
     
  5. -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Location:
    Where bunnies are welcome.
    #5
    Sometimes, it's best not to give advice. He doesn't need to learn control.

    You're not a social drinker. All the things you write are classic signs of alcoholism. Get help, because you may find it hard just to stop and eventually you'll find yourself rationalizing and be right back at it (your friends will be a continuing problem, since they'll want to talk you into going out with them). I suggest you go to AA, personally, since that's free and has a proven track record. Whatever you do, don't try to go this alone.

    Congratulations on making the first step, "I realized I was powerless over alcohol—that my life had become unmanageable."

    Edit: OP, feel free to PM me.
     
  6. boss.king macrumors 68040

    boss.king

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    #6
    I used to drink a fair bit at school (every Friday and Saturday) and every weekend in my first year of uni. Now I rarely drink. I still enjoy drinking with my friends but I simply have more self control now. Learn to stop when you've had enough, that's all I can say.
     
  7. Blaine macrumors 6502a

    Blaine

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    Dec 3, 2007
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    Abilene TX
  8. boss.king macrumors 68040

    boss.king

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    #8
    Blaming other people is the easiest excuse. Its like blaming your genes for being fat. Just consume less.
     
  9. chrono1081 macrumors 604

    chrono1081

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2008
    Location:
    Isla Nublar
    #9
    I applaud you OP for wanting to stop. It'll definitely benefit you.

    I used to drink a lot in college (not quite to the same extent) but honestly it lost its fun and I replaced it with real activities (snowboarding, kayaking, biking, etc). They're much more fun, great for you, and don't give you hangovers!

    Now I can barely drink a beer or two without getting buzzed. Once I feel a little buzz, I'm done and I drink water or tea the rest of the night. Social drinking is ok, as long as you limit how much you drink. Your night will be much more enjoyable too when you can remember it.
     
  10. east85 thread starter macrumors 65816

    east85

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    #10
    You're right, I mean I am definitely not a social drinker. I don't drink alone but I guess there is one cut way to put it, alcoholism. I'll look into programs but I did manage to quit for awhile, as in 3 years but I'm back on the boat again I guess. I'm just trying to get as much information as I can at the moment. I guess one of the biggest hurdles is I live with 3 roomies, and they all drink- friends aside. So yeah it is probably going to be difficult. Thanks for the offer BTW.

    I agree with your sentiment on replacing the addiction. I used to be heavy with visiting the gym but I stopped due to a gym not being readily available. There is a gym here though, so I will probably go ahead and resume going. Like I said prior, 3 of them I do live with so, it's an interesting scenario but- I will do my best to avoid them and their activities. This isn't what I want for myself, and I just kind of started again here to have a good time. But, I don't need to drink to have a good time. When I do come down I get terribly depressed, which is something that never used to happen. The whole paranoia thing was just horrible though, and like, I don't want to do that anymore. I decided today to just give it up. That's all I can do, but I feel like I'm not really "giving it up" so much as gaining a better life. I like my friends and whatnot, they're a lot of fun but it's not helping me at all.

    Thanks. I've already accepted though that I am not in control at all when I drink. This makes me a group favorite to invite, because I'm such a fool most likely. I get happy/etc/social but, it's not for me. I wish I could just "have a few", but I already know that isn't happening with me.

    This is a good point. I'm going to break it to them tomorrow. If they have a problem with it, then I suppose I'll just move on and find a new group/spend my time apart from them. There are plenty of coffee shops in town and things to do that don't involve drinking, so that's good. Being in this town may make it a little more difficult, just because there are so many places to drink. But, I guess I can at least control my decision to stay sober. This isn't really the mark I want to leave on the world, and if they don't understand, then their loss.
     
  11. SteveAbootman macrumors 6502a

    SteveAbootman

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Location:
    USA
    #11
    Good to hear OP. My personal opinion is that at the end of the day, it's your choice. That said, it never hurts to practice moderation. If you can't go a week or two without feeling desperate for a drink, then you probably need to look more serious at the signs of alcoholism and get help.

    But, if you get through a few weeks without that feeling, then you're probably right - you're a social drinker. You just have to learn not to say yes to every drink someone hands you, and instead of going out 3 or 4 times a week, scale it back to 1 or 2. The other nights, do something else like watch a movie, go to the gym, etc.
     
  12. east85 thread starter macrumors 65816

    east85

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    #12
    I've learned that I can't. This is a great excuse for people like me, and often used to keep drinking. But unfortunately I lose control when I'm drinking. It's unfortunate but I think it's in my best interest not to play that game. I've already tried to learn. I've had enough chances.

    I'm a social person, so it's okay. I'll just seek out people in a different scene who don't drink. I have been missing out on my alone time and I really don't like that. I can just relax and read a book if need be I guess.

    I don't want to come off like I'm blaming anyone. There are hurdles, but ultimately deciding to drink is my decision. I'm owning it. I've been owning it in this thread. I won't use other people as an excuse, but it's something that isn't really ignorable either.

    Thanks. Actually I would love to get back into those sorts of activities. I used to always go snowboarding and kayaking, I'll try to pick up some new hobbies, and maybe some old ones in the coming weeks. I'd rather spend my money on that sort of thing rather than drinks, definitely.
     
  13. 'Bmac macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Location:
    City of Bon Jovi, New Jersey, USA
    #13
    I just want to wish you the very best of luck! It's a difficult thing to do the way you described you used to drink. But anyhow, ALL THE VERY BEST of LUCK!
     
  14. senseless macrumors 68000

    senseless

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2008
    Location:
    Pennsylvania, USA
    #14
    You're so lucky to come to this conclusion at a young age. Following through is another story. Best of luck and dump your toxic friends fast.
     
  15. boss.king macrumors 68040

    boss.king

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    #15
    I can see you're taking responsibility for it, that's great. I was talking to the other guy with that comment. You feel you won't be able to control yourself, so you've stop completely, that's absolutely fine, you're still taking control yourself and consuming (a lot) less. Good luck :)
     
  16. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
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    #16
    East85, I don't know if I have any advice to give, but I do need to say that you sound like a very level-headed, responsible person, and you're a strong person for recognising your problem now amd changing your life. Many uni students drink themselves to death in order to fit in. :rolleyes:

    I was initially going to suggest that you drink moderately, but since you can't do it, then you're doing the right thing. However, may I suggest that you continue to hang out with the friends you have?? They're your friends! By continuing to spend some time with them, you're telling them that you enjoy their company, but you still want to do this for yourself.

    If you ditch your friends because you have decided not to drink, then you're just as bad as your friends if they chose not to talk to you because you don't drink. :eek:
     
  17. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #17
    No but if he chooses to stop drinking some of those friends will try to tempt him to keep drinking, that is they may prove to be a stumbling block. Plus if their lifestyles turn out to be very different some of those friends may drift away.

    I don't drink anymore, I used to when I was younger but no more. I remember seeing some friends drift away because drinking was so important to them that there was little in common with us. That is all we did was drink together and party.

    OP, its great that you looking to change your lifestyle, If you starting to have those side affects that you reported then maybe its time to put the drink down. You'll need something else to replace the habit.
     
  18. hafr macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    #18
    It's also one of the most effective ways of changing an unwanted behavior, to remove oneself from situations where temptation will occur.

    Saying "just consume less" proves you have very limited knowledge in the subject of human behavior, and should therefore not be listened to or give advice in these kind of questions.

    ----------

    I wish you the best of luck, and I'll give you an advice that helped me: never stay later than midnight or two beers, whichever comes first. It was easy for me to leave after two beers because I hadn't become drunk enough, and once you stay past midnight without having had two beers yet the parties just became unattractive. Parties where people are binge drinking just aren't fun when sober, and if your friends can handle their drinking you won't be lured into getting that smashed.
     
  19. boss.king macrumors 68040

    boss.king

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    #19
    Its also the easiest way to lose all your close friends. I don't know about you but I've grown quite fond of my friends and I don't think I would abandon them over drinking. In fact, I didn't. I went out with them and drank less than I used to. Yes, at first it was tough, but nothing worth doing is easy. People always look for the easy way out without actually putting in any effort. But yeah, ignore what I'm saying, its not like this is an open forum or I have done the thing I was giving advice on... oh wait

    Edit: obviously if those friends treat you differently or keep trying to make you drink then evaluate whether their friendship is still worth it. What I'm saying is don't jump to cut your friends out of your life. You may find that they are willing to help you if you sit down and actually explain your situation.
     
  20. shinobi-81 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2012
    #20
    I had similar problems with alcohol myself, so I did quit for many months. The problems actually stemmed from some other problems in my life, and some of my friends were worried about me too. When the underlying problems vanished, I could drink alcohol again without getting wasted. Everyone who drinks understands the meaning behind "One glass is all right, two are too many and three are not enough", but I couldn't even take one glass without getting wasted... or awfully frustrated if not getting more alcohol.

    When you think of a big glass of beer with fresh dewdrops on a scorching summer day, or see all the colorful, exciting drinks in a bar menu, it's easy to forget that alcohol is a volatile, flammable nerve-toxin which has taken millions of lives. It shouldn't be necessary to make any excuses for not pouring such liquids into the body, but your friends may nonetheless have a hard time accepting this. They may not want a "sober eye" to see and remember what they've been doing when drunk.

    If possible, you should go to the events you're invited to, yet limit yourself to non-alcoholic beer, non-alcoholic wine and driver's cocktails. Then it will be easier to resist peer pressure to drink since you won't be standing out in the first place.
     
  21. hafr macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    #21
    That's great, that you're a strong person in that way. People with clear warning signs of alcoholism will most likely have a very hard time following your example though.

    You sound like an old friend of mine that used to do smack for three years and then just stopped when it became unsupportable for him. He couldn't for the life of him understand why not all heroin addicts just stopped instead of whining, because he "knew it's doable".

    There is no need to cut people out of your life [permanently], but if alcohol is always in the picture then the question is whether or not there is any point in upholding the friendship during the period when you're trying to stop drinking...
     
  22. jeremy h macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    UK
    #22
    Hmmm... sounds like you've all turned British. We've got a phrase for it - binge drinking. Huge problem here but difficult to solve as we've all either done it or are currently doing it. (The Scottish government is about to introduce minimum alcohol pricing to try and get a grip on it.)

    Just tell your mates you're going to try going on the wagon for a month. You're not giving up - just laying of the sauce for a bit. If you want - make an excuse like you've got no money this month and really can't afford it. I know a lot of people who do this. If you're at a college do it a couple of times of year to clean yourself up.

    Your capacity for drinking will probably drop markedly afterwards when/if you start again. Also - you can start again on your terms. Perhaps from then on you just drink shandies etc
     
  23. hafr macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    #23
    I don't know what a pint costs in Scotland, but in general alcohol is quite insensitive to price changes. Also, price increases tend to shift consumption rather than diminish it. Meaning more money for the corner stores, less for the pubs.
     
  24. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #24
    "May".


    Again...."may".

    At the beginning, perhaps give your friends the benefit of the doubt. Yes, they'll tease you and give you a difficult time, but if they're decent people, they'll come around.

    At least be the best designated driver ever. :p



    But yes, you may need to cut ties if you want your life to head in a different direction.
     
  25. jeremy h macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    UK
    #25
    I don't know if it will work... we'll see... what they're worrying about and it might be what the OP is finding with his/her mates is that people are tending to buy very cheap alcohol (cider appears to be the current fuel of choice for the youth of today) from a corner shop get tanked up on that and then go out and hit the pubs (then hit each other...)

    As Abstract says - you'll get some mickey taking but they'll soon come round - especially if you ferry them around in your car...
     

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