Interesting Problem... Need Ideas!

BACKGROUND: My macbook pro is ALLLL kinds of ****ed up (15" 2011 edition). But it's my baby. Even though she has some.. challenges I still love her. The screen is cracked. I need to replace it but I'm super lazy. I'm the type of person who needs to be forced into fixing ****. If I can do a workaround and I dont need to take apart all the screws, awesome. Anyways, yeah its cracked and you cant see anything on the laptop screen. So I plug it into TV's via hdmi as the workaround. Also, something is ****ed up with the keyboard and everytime I touch any of the keys the trackpad (or external mouse) only right clicks mobo maybe? My workaround was a wireless mac keyboard.

THE PROBLEM: Whenever I plug my laptop into a TV it recognizes it, but only extends the screen. I usually just hit command+F1 on the wireless keyboard and presto! the screen is duplicated. So I'm in Germany and the ******* I am forgot the keyboard on my kitchen bar. I borrowed a windows keyboard from the reception desk at the hotel im staying at but the f1 keys doesn't duplicate the screen.

halp.