My 11 Pro requires that my face is right in front of it to unlock. I have "Attention Aware" turned off in the Face ID and Passcode settings so I'm confident that's not the issue.
Are others able to open their phone if, for instance, it's laying on a table without actually leaning their face right over it?
Your post said you need to grab your phone to unlock it and hold it up before doing anything useful. I don’t find that to be the case. Now that Face ID is working at a 45 degree angle, I can unlock simply by being near it and flick up to access the phone.