I had your mindset until very recently. Plus, I watched a decent video review of the iPhone XR that stated that while the 7 Plus and 8 Plus have had the telephoto lens that's now gone from anything that isn't a $1000 Pro iPhone, it was apparently never all that good and that the digital zoom on the XR and 11 are often BETTER than the optical zoom that was in the telephoto in the 7 Plus and 8 Plus and that the XR takes better pictures for forcing the use of the digital zoom.
I'm less keen on the display resolution downgrade when going from the now-bygone Plus phones to the XR/11. The 12 and 12 Pro 6.1" display rectifies that, but the lower resolution of the XR and the 11 is still a downgrade. Then again, something I'm realizing is that, while phablet features are great, I'm not going to be watching full length movies on my iPhone and not something like an iPad or laptop.
Still though, my mindset is that the CPU under the hood is a huge upgrade from A10 Fusion and that I can elect for a more substantial upgrade later if I so choose. Right now, unless someone offers me a steal of a deal on an iPhone 11 Pro Max, Apple is basically giving me the option of SE 2nd Gen, 11, or XR. Given that I only need this to last me until I can do something more substantial, XR seems to be the sweet spot.