... Having just come back from vacation, and looking at my photos, compared to what photos I saw on someone's S5 during that vacation, the difference is astounding, the S5 takes such amazing photos. ...
I couldn't help but think that maybe your crappy pictures, as usual, have less to do with the camera, but are because of the photographer
A photog who understands the basic concepts of taking good pictures (lighting, composition, color, subject distance, etc) can take good pictures, mostly ignoring the quality of the camera itself.
Bah! A skilled photographer can make a quality shot with a pinhole camera...