Is there anyone else here that suffers from OCD?

[Dark Void]

I thought this would be an interesting topic considering the term OCD is so easily tossed around here in regards to those experiencing imperfections with Apple products. I would also hope that this could perhaps be a place for those afflicted with this curse to share experiences or ask questions. I genuinely would like to hear from others about this, and to share my experiences as well if anyone would like that, or if it would help them.

I suffer from a wide range of obsessive compulsive habits and thoughts. They cause physical reactions, anxiety, panic attacks and the inability to function some of the time. I was wondering if anyone here also suffers from OCD or any similar mental disorder? If so, maybe you would like to share some of your thoughts here I would hope.

It may not seem so daring to most but it takes a lot of courage to talk about being obsessive as it basically forms a circle, almost like a paradox - doing so is something to obsess over in other words. Therefore, I hope at least a couple of people here are willing to comment or share, or even ask questions. I have full fledged obsessive compulsive disorder and will answer any and all questions to the best of my ability if anyone has thoughts or concerns about it in general. If nobody replies, I guess that's okay too.

Thanks everyone.

 

[citizenzen]

My wife has it. I wouldn't call it full-fledged, but it does effect her daily life.

I'm curious about your username. Is your OCD accompanied by depression as well?

 

[Dark Void]

My wife has it. I wouldn't call it full-fledged, but it does effect her daily life.

I'm very sorry to hear that. Do you find yourself reassuring her of things often? I feel that for me personally, I am much worse when left alone where I can let my mind run rampant, and it was nice in the past to have somone close to me that didn't have the disorder for reassurance of what they would perceive as a non-issue.

I'm curious about your username. Is your OCD accompanied by depression as well?

It is, along with paranoia. The username doesn't have too much to do with it, although I guess it could beneath the surface - but I wasn't trying to reflect depression when creating it.

Thanks very much for your reply.

 

[A.Goldberg]

I work in psychopharmacology, so I work with people with all levels of OCD ranging from very mild to severely debilitating. It's quite shocking some of the level to which OCD can affect ones life. I'm very sorry to all those who suffer from it. It's not an easy challenge to overcome and typically cannot be "medicated away".

 

[TechGod]

Somewhat mild, but it's not fun. My parents sometimes just get extremely frustrated why I need certain things done a certain way or why my room is kept organised the way it is.

 

[Dark Void]

I work in psychopharmacology, so I work with people with all levels of OCD ranging from very mild to severely debilitating. It's quite shocking some of the level to which OCD can affect ones life. I'm very sorry to all those who suffer from it. It's not an easy challenge to overcome and typically cannot be "medicated away".

How exactly do you work with them, what kind of things do you do? I am familiar with the field, but would just like to know what specifically if you don't mind commenting. Thanks for your reply.

Somewhat mild, but it's not fun. My parents sometimes just get extremely frustrated why I need certain things done a certain way or why my room is kept organised the way it is.

I got this from my family when I was younger. They are still critical of me when I have to check certain things such as the door being locked multiple times before leaving the house. I can relate to the room bit, I was laughed at and labeled as "anal" by my family when I had to keep it a certain way or else it would cause physical reactions. Thanks very much for your post.

 

[A.Goldberg]

How exactly do you work with them, what kind of things do you do? I am familiar with the field, but would just like to know what specifically if you don't mind commenting. Thanks for your reply.

I will PM you.

 

[TechGod]

How exactly do you work with them, what kind of things do you do? I am familiar with the field, but would just like to know what specifically if you don't mind commenting. Thanks for your reply.



I got this from my family when I was younger. They are still critical of me when I have to check certain things such as the door being locked multiple times before leaving the house. I can relate to the room bit, I was laughed at and labeled as "anal" by my family when I had to keep it a certain way or else it would cause physical reactions. Thanks very much for your post.

I get very nervous which leads to a increased heart rate and just kinda frightens me, I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

 

[Dark Void]

I get very nervous which leads to a increased heart rate and just kinda frightens me, I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

I do as well, and I start to sweat sometimes. My chest gets tight and the like. It's usually over things that others would find as a non-issue.

 

[jerwin]

seen on another site I frequent.

What you think about OCD is probably wrong

 

[Dark Void]

seen on another site I frequent.

What you think about OCD is probably wrong

Quite ironic - clicking links is something that I am obsessively against! How is this for a real world example.

 

[jerwin]

The gist of that video is that OCD sufferers have disturbing obsessions, and engage in compulsive behaviors to alleviate those obsessions.
The stereotypical example is that of an individual who is (falsely) told by his brain that he is unclean, and engages in compulsive handwashing in order to deal with that obsession.

 

[Dark Void]

It usually bothers me when some people have the impression that people with OCD are "just clean" or it's probably one of the best disorders to have because it causes you to be organized and the like.

The problem is that these people don't realize that the lack of upholding any of these habits causes a lot of anxiety and much worse reactions for some.

I don't like seeing the term used so loosely, especially to describe a tendency. "I'm so OCD because I have to have the labels of the cans in my food cabinet to be facing forward" is an example of this. That's not OCD unless not doing it causes mental anxiety, and the inability to walk away from it until it is done in a particular manner that satisfies the disorder.

 

[A.Goldberg]

It usually bothers me when some people have the impression that people with OCD are "just clean" or it's probably one of the best disorders to have because it causes you to be organized and the like.

The problem is that these people don't realize that the lack of upholding any of these habits causes a lot of anxiety and much worse reactions for some.

I don't like seeing the term used so loosely, especially to describe a tendency. "I'm so OCD because I have to have the labels of the cans in my food cabinet to be facing forward" is an example of this. That's not OCD unless not doing it causes mental anxiety, and the inability to walk away from it until it is done in a particular manner that satisfies the disorder.

This is a good point here. Most people don't understand that OCD is not just being a neat freak and saying "oh, I'm OCD about keeping my car clean" as if to understand the condition is not understanding the condition.

Generally, everyone has quirks and may be "OCD" about things. This is true of most psych problems. The difference between OCD traits and OCD is that OCD inhibits a person from parcipating in life or fulfilling day-to-day responsibilities.

Being obsessively clean is one end of the cleanliness spectrum, but compulsive hoarding is at the other end. These people believe they need to acquire and save uncessessary items (or multiples of the same thing) often because "some day they might need them". Hoarding is a form of OCD, as is being a "neat freak".

I had a patient a while back who would check his blood pressure and pulse every 10 minutes to be sure he was healthy after suffering a heart attack. He could not complete his job because he was so preoccupied with the possibility of another heart attack.

OCD can even be ruminating thoughts, like "is there a god". It can also be believing patterns represent good or bad luck "3 red cars in a row means bad luck".

I had a severe case a while back of a teenager who believed he had to step on every other tile on a tile floor in so as not to incur "imbalance" in his life. He would only move much like a night in chess 2 tiles forward then one to the left. Finishing with one tile between him and the doorway or next flooring suface was "good luck".

It's had to break such an belief because any little good or bad thing that happens can justify good or bad luck. As ridiculous as this sounds to most of us, this is a very real problem and belief.

 

[Dark Void]

This is a good point here. Most people don't understand that OCD is not just being a neat freak and saying "oh, I'm OCD about keeping my car clean" as if to understand the condition is not understanding the condition.

Precisely. It upsets me to see that but of course I am biased when it comes to the matter - perhaps bitter even. I don't like it when people so nonchalantly use the term without having any idea regarding the mental anguish that comes along with truly having the disorder. It isn't "OCD" to be particular about something.

Generally, everyone has quirks and may be "OCD" about things. This is true of most psych problems. The difference between OCD traits and OCD is that OCD inhibits a person from parcipating in life or fulfilling day-to-day responsibilities.

Unfortunately so, it is a daily struggle.

Being obsessively clean is one end of the cleanliness spectrum, but compulsive hoarding is at the other end. These people believe they need to acquire and save uncessessary items (or multiples of the same thing) often because "some day they might need them". Hoarding is a form of OCD, as is being a "neat freak".

I'm glad you brought up hoarding because I am actually the opposite of a hoarder which most people don't know exists. I am a consolidator and having a past history or unnecessary things present in my life causes me panic and I have to get rid of them. I find comfort in disposing of things and erasing the past, and I am obsessive about doing it to where I can't function if the conditions are not met.

I had a patient a while back who would check his blood pressure and pulse every 10 minutes to be sure he was healthy after suffering a heart attack. He could not complete his job because he was so preoccupied with the possibility of another heart attack.

Yes. This is OCD. I am very sorry for what this person you have met has to go through. It's entirely a terrible fate. I have made myself late for work countless times before due to constant "checking" of various things, and I also was sometimes a burden on the job.

I had a severe case a while back of a teenager who believed he had to step on every other tile on a tile floor in so as not to incur "imbalance" in his life. He would only move much like a night in chess 2 tiles forward then one to the left. Finishing with one tile between him and the doorway or next flooring suface was "good luck".

I used to do this. I counted every step that I took all the way back as the sixth grade. I didn't have a pattern such as you describe but I did skip every other tile because I felt stepping on them would cause pain to my loved ones. I still have similar decisions to make daily, but they don't include floor tiles at this point in my life. It could always come back, though.

Thanks very, very much for your post. You've been really helpful.

 

[MattL1979]

I can’t label my issue as OCD because I hadn't talked about it with a specialist, but I have a problem with the digital world. I need to see that everything has loaded correctly (or my own definition of what “correctly loading” is). For example, I can’t close a web page unless it has loaded completely. I really dislike iOS’ “Activity Icon” because sometimes it just won’t go away. (I joined MacRumors to ask about this(1))

The worst part is the doubt: If I don’t press enough attention to what I’m doing, I would think for default that whatever I was doing hasn’t loaded correctly and would have to fight the thoughts and compulsion to format the iPhone/iPad again to have a “clean” device. I can’t ever be sure. I try to remember what I did before and after in order to find an answer, all in vain. And I know that it doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t affect the device. It just happens that some part of my brain can't take that as an answer. I love my iPhone and iPad but sometimes I get so much stress using them.

I know that not everybody likes iCloud or other Apple services, but iCloud back-up and iCloud Drive have been my saviors. I can just back-up once per day and now don’t even have to think about saving my files. Of course I periodically back-up my devices on iTunes too (once per week).

I don’t have a solution and nobody has been able to give me one, because it is all in my mind and I can’t fight myself, but labelling the thoughts as obsessions has helped me to deal with them and waive the compulsion to reset everything again.

Related: I can’t disconnect an iPhone from charging if it isn’t 100% charged. I won’t start something if I think that I won’t be able to reach 100% completion (like downloading something). The most illogical part is that it just applies to digital/computing stuff.

(1) https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/ios-loading-icon-in-apps.1896331/

 

[Dark Void]

I can’t label my issue as OCD because I hadn't talked about it with a specialist, but I have a problem with the digital world. I need to see that everything has loaded correctly (or my own definition of what “correctly loading” is). For example, I can’t close a web page unless it has loaded completely. I really dislike iOS’ “Activity Icon” because sometimes it just won’t go away. (I joined MacRumors to ask about this(1))

The worst part is the doubt: If I don’t press enough attention to what I’m doing, I would think for default that whatever I was doing hasn’t loaded correctly and would have to fight the thoughts and compulsion to format the iPhone/iPad again to have a “clean” device. I can’t ever be sure. I try to remember what I did before and after in order to find an answer, all in vain. And I know that it doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t affect the device. It just happens that some part of my brain can't take that as an answer. I love my iPhone and iPad but sometimes I get so much stress using them.

I know that not everybody likes iCloud or other Apple services, but iCloud back-up and iCloud Drive have been my saviors. I can just back-up once per day and now don’t even have to think about saving my files. Of course I periodically back-up my devices on iTunes too (once per week).

I don’t have a solution and nobody has been able to give me one, because it is all in my mind and I can’t fight myself, but labelling the thoughts as obsessions has helped me to deal with them and waive the compulsion to reset everything again.

Related: I can’t disconnect an iPhone from charging if it isn’t 100% charged. I won’t start something if I think that I won’t be able to reach 100% completion (like downloading something). The most illogical part is that it just applies to digital/computing stuff.

(1) https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/ios-loading-icon-in-apps.1896331/

Hi Matt, thanks for your reply.

I haven't the ability to diagnose anyone but due to what I go through I think you may have some form OCD, but I can't be sure of the severity. It seems that you obsessively (meant in a non-offensive way, it's safe here) worry about things where your fears aren't even possible of being realized, at least directly. The key is that you explain that it is according to your own definition, which is manifested through other emotions and could essentially be made up.

I obsessively worry about a lot digitally and have the very same issues and more regarding the same topic so to speak. You have explained it exactly. You may suffer from the same consolidation habits that I do. Do you also find yourself always wanting clean slates elsewhere in life? Do you have problems building a history?

What you have described definitely sounds like OCD to me, especially if it causes you enough grief to do things as ridiculous (again, not offensively meant, if anything I am relating) as reformat the device. I find that most (understatement) do not care about this and are not timid. Please do not take anything I've said and run with it, like I said I am not an expert but I am just talking to you based on my experience with having a severe case of this disorder.

There is no need to link your thread and use this as a segway for help (again, not meant offensively - see how cautious I am towards hurting feelings?) as I can almost assure you that what you fear is not an issue. If you are truly like me than me telling you that will not matter but I hope you can be assured in some way that it is only an obsessive fear.

 

[MattL1979]

Hi Matt, thanks for your reply.

I haven't the ability to diagnose anyone but due to what I go through I think you may have some form OCD, but I can't be sure of the severity. It seems that you obsessively (meant in a non-offensive way, it's safe here) worry about things where your fears aren't even possible of being realized, at least directly. The key is that you explain that it is according to your own definition, which is manifested through other emotions and could essentially be made up.

I obsessively worry about a lot digitally and have the very same issues and more regarding the same topic so to speak. You have explained it exactly. You may suffer from the same consolidation habits that I do. Do you also find yourself always wanting clean slates elsewhere in life? Do you have problems building a history?

What you have described definitely sounds like OCD to me, especially if it causes you enough grief to do things as ridiculous (again, not offensively meant, if anything I am relating) as reformat the device. I find that most (understatement) do not care about this and are not timid. Please do not take anything I've said and run with it, like I said I am not an expert but I am just talking to you based on my experience with having a severe case of this disorder.

There is no need to link your thread and use this as a segway for help (again, not meant offensively - see how cautious I am towards hurting feelings?) as I can almost assure you that what you fear is not an issue. If you are truly like me than me telling you that will not matter but I hope you can be assured in some way that it is only an obsessive fear.

Yes, assurance is what I need and seek. Thanks Dark Void. Don't worry about hurting my feelings as I agree with you. Fortunately, I just need clean slates for my devices/internet accounts and not my own life. However, sometimes I find myself wanting to redo something and don't feel fine until I do it (e.g. re-read a certain chapter of a book when I feel that I read it too fast). I fear that practicing the compulsions to reset everything related to my digital life is pushing my obsessions to my real life, at least mildly. I want to check with a specialist and am working toward overcoming the fear of speaking about this face to face with someone. This has helped me a lot. You know how hard it could be.

 

[Dark Void]

Yes, assurance is what I need and seek. Thanks Dark Void. Don't worry about hurting my feelings as I agree with you. Fortunately, I just need clean slates for my devices/internet accounts and not my own life. However, sometimes I find myself wanting to redo something and don't feel fine until I do it (e.g. re-read a certain chapter of a book when I feel that I read it too fast). I fear that practicing the compulsions to reset everything related to my digital life is pushing my obsessions to my real life, at least mildly. I want to check with a specialist and am working toward overcoming the fear of speaking about this face to face with someone. This has helped me a lot. You know how hard it could be.

I'm very glad that I could help you in some way. I hope that you can avoid letting things expand more throughout your life.