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Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?

Makosuke said:
For those wondering, Comet Cursor is one of those annoying "fancy pointer" applications, and Bonzi Buddy is one of those "shopper's helper" apps that is basically targeted advertising spyware. If you don't know what Flash is, or think that anybody competent enough to post an article on a website is so stupid he thinks it's a hacker tool, then a bit of a reality check is probably in order (though I admit some people who manage to get things onto the web somehow are astoundingly computer-illiterate).
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And a DoS is Denial of Service, not some command prompt thing. I found that part the most amusing. But again to someone who doesn't know any better it kind of makes sense. I sincerely hope that this is a joke, even so, there are some who will take this parody as fact. There are a lot of computers with a lot more processing power than the user at the keyboard. Believe me, they call me non stop everyday.
 
That is kinda funny about AMD.....amd procs are designed in us and many of them are manufactured in ibm's plants...you can tell that guy is an idiot. Pretty much what he is saying is if you dislike windows and mac os and you get an amd computer and put linux on it then your automatically a hacker...bah.
 
OMG, this is to funny, Man i was having a bad day at work, but this made my day... I work with people like this all day. It is sooooo funny.
 
oh dear

BrianKonarsMac said:
thank god for paul, at least someone aside from myself got it.
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PLEASE tell me that we aren't in the minority realising that this is a JOKE!? I thought us macusers were meant to be brighter than most right? 😉
 
What I find irritating about any link of this kind is all the blue underlined "URL" links you have to read through. Weather the article is for real or not I could care less. What I found rather interesting was clicking on a few of those links in the article to see what the references were. WELL 😱 if you click on the word "spanking" in this paragraph you're in for a little suprise. BUT BE WARNED IT IS SOFT PORN!!

To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.
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brightly colored clothes got to me though. that was just way too funny! 😛 😛 😛

baggy pants? lunix?

i know it's a joke, and it did what it was meant to do.
 
Yeah, it would be hard for some people to believe that it's fake but some of the things he says are pretty funny...

Like the bit where he's worried about his son using firearms, so remember, lock away all the firearms you happen to own in your house... A safe gun.

And you can just tell it's a joke when it's got this:

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.
--"The Soviet computer hacker" links to: http://www.goldeneye.com/julian/boris.html

It's pretty funny if you go to some of the links.
 
Jalexster said:
"Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"."

WFT?

"If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm"

WFT?

"There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond."

Programming with Perl is hacking? WFT?

"If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites"

WFT? I know what DOSing is, but this is crazy...

"DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines"

WTF? This guy is an idiot...

"Does your son use Quake?"

Quake is a hacking program? WFT?

"Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?"

WFT is Lunix? It's called Linux!

"BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government."

WFT?

"Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet","

Telnet is a hacking program too now is it? Again WFT?

"If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands."

WFT?

This guy is a contender for the You Are A ****ing Moron award. I've got to e-Mail Reginold this...
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what does 'WFT?' mean?
 
blue&whiteman said:
we fight turkeys?
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much better then the real translation. i vote you start using it in that context, maybe it will catch on.

i liked that article, it kind of reminds me of a "how do you know if your child is gay" article i read YEARS ago.
 
how can people think this is real when one of the links on the sidebar is 'writing satire for a technical audience'?

and a poll like:

I'm scared of hackers because...


They hack into NASA
5%

They steal things
4%

They are violent sociopaths
4%

They use amphetamines and speed
7%

They help Osama Bin Laden
14%

They're un-American
5%

They smell bad


cmon people... common sense...

matt

-

If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

-

and if you read the comments under: 'writing satire for a technical' audience, you'll find this:
This article was what I put up after, on mIRC, the whole channel I frequent was up in arms absolutely agast at the "Is your son a computer hacker?" article. They were amazed at its stupidity (the hacker article, not this) and didn't even consider it might be a joke until someone pasted someone's comment which was basically, "Uhh. This is clearly a good joke, people" into the channel. Then I had poked my head in and noted how it's under the heading of "internet idocity" and then pasted the link to this article. I felt it was rather well placed. 😉

I think the reason it's hard to tell these are jokes are because the internet is so vast. There's so many people who actually <b>mean</b> this stuff! It's hard to tell what is a joke and what is not, and most "geeks" as they're regarded in this have really heard it all.

By far the funniest thing about this, however, isn't the fact that this is a joke but rather that it's a joke about people not getting the joke... and then people treat it like it is not a joke. ^^; I will agree with one man who posted on here, not nearly as funny as the article that scored over 4000 comments, "Is your son a computer hacker?" but still has a point. Bah, geeks get so uptight. *Goes off to play D&D and insists that she's cooler than anime fans that call anime japanamation like the geek heirarchy says*
 
Wardofsky said:
We've established that it's a joke article 🙂
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my bad 🙂 didn't see the second page at first 😉

i was startin to really wonder about some of the people here... 😉
 
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
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Guys... this is obviously meant to get peoples backs up, and it's suceeding. We all know the above 3 programs have nothing to do with hacking - Bonzi Buddy being a useless peice of adware, for example.

Just enjoy it for what it is - crap. And don't forget that incredibly, much of this DOES reflect the attitudes of conservative parents everywhere.

andy.
 
_pb_boi said:
Guys... this is obviously meant to get peoples backs up, and it's suceeding. We all know the above 3 programs have nothing to do with hacking - Bonzi Buddy being a useless peice of adware, for example.

Just enjoy it for what it is - crap. And don't forget that incredibly, much of this DOES reflect the attitudes of conservative parents everywhere.

andy.
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naw, i don't think it does (i'm a conservative parent btw, and know quite a few of them)... its just a joke, laughing at the people who think its serious...
 
Nah, I realise that a lot of it is completely made up, but I'm just acknowledging that SOME of the material is reflective of widespread opinion, imho.

Certainly, when reading the latest news articles about a new teenage threat to national security, the 'expert' opinions that back-up the authors writing can well be hugely misinformed and paranoia-inducing.

I agree that it's written to laugh at those who take it seriously, btw... and rightly so, given that anyone who takes it seriously really needs a reality check 🙂

andy.
 
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.
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Heck, after this paragraph alone it's obviously a joke. The definition of an enlightened, modern parent is one who follows his six kids to their parties (which are all, apparently, "teen" parties....guess he kept Mom busy those six years, huh)? The "finest family in the USA"? 🙄
 
well that was five minutes of my life I'll never get back. 🙄

Sorry, I got the joke, just didn't think it was funny at all.
 
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