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Just got home from the worst date ever...

maestro55

maestro55

macrumors 68030
Original poster
Nov 13, 2005
2,708
0
Goat Farm in Meridian, TX
... I think the chick was high or something. She seemed very mellowed out, but I couldn't tell if her pupils were dilated or not. We started talking Sunday night and she asked me Monday when we were going to meet. I made plans for tonight and we went out to eat and then out for a coffee. She kept getting calls from what sounded like a guy and then she lied (or at least I think it was a lie) about a 9:30 curfew and so I took her home. She hardly said a thing and so I ended up spending the whole time trying to sound interesting. When I dropped her off she got out of the car, not even a hug or anything and I would have walked her to her porch but she was out before then.

So she wasn't happy with me, why the hell didn't she tell me what the problem was. Damn, I am so tired of dating, I almost hate myself for whatever I did wrong tonight or just being myself seemed to not make her happy. My ex-girlfriend didn't seem happy with me either, in fact just days after breaking up with her she was already dating (and then she tells me that she was surprised that I am dating again). Why if she wasn't happy didn't she tell me two months ago (before I spent over $100, a lot for me right now, taking her to Austin for her birthday) that she wasn't happy.

/rant

Sorry I am just a bit depressed that I seem to lack the looks, personality, etc to make a woman happy.
 
youll find someone, maybe you shouldn't date, i think the whole concept is kinda screwed, you should get to know people naturally. people shouldt have to go on dates to get involved.
 
Just be glad you don't look like this. I feel your pain though. I lived over in japan as a missionary for 2 years and the girls were running away from me for about a year and a half. Best of luck to ya!

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Sorry. The only thing to do is to calm down and relax, at least for me anyway. You'll meet someone someday!:):apple:
 
sounds like she wasnt interested in you but she just needs the attention of guys. if you dont want to be 'just friends' with her i say let her go. youll find someone else around the corner ;).
 
1. At least you were within an arm's length of a woman who was somewhat connected to you. That's better than most nerds ever get even if they pay.

2. Chicks are whack.
 
maestro55 said:
We went to Starbucks, but yes I have been to Common Grounds once in August or 2004 meeting with a local Linux group. Not a bad place I just always go to Starbucks.
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I think maybe you should have taken her somewhere more interesting than a Starbucks!!! What sort of a date is that?

I never took dating seriously at all and used to make sure they would put out before I spent money on them, even for a coffee. In my opinion the less serious you take dating and stuff the more they find you attractive. I mean if she read your post she would tell her friends and the word spreads that your a wimp to be honest.

You need to look at your objectives:

a) Did you want to be her friend?
b) Did you want to shag her senseless just for fun?
c) Did you want to make love to her?
d) Did you want to take her to starbucks, talk, date, marry, have children then split up?
e) Did you just see/shag her to make your ex jealous?

I would go with b and a little of e.
 
majordude said:
1. At least you were within an arm's length of a woman who was somewhat connected to you. That's better than most nerds ever get even if they pay.

2. Chicks are whack.
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Connected? LOL - She did not speak to him.

Chicks are whack? - I guess you go on Starbucks dates often then also?

How do you know the OP is a nerd?
 
I saw her because I am looking for a companion, and from our talks she seemed like a decent match. I gave it a shot, it didn't work. We went to the Clay Pot for the actual date, it is a small Vietnamese restaurant here in Waco. The Starbucks was an after thought, a place where we might have been able to talk, not very creative. She talked some, but the majority of the talking was me, she seemed out of it.
 
maestro55 said:
I saw her because I am looking for a companion, and from our talks she seemed like a decent match. I gave it a shot, it didn't work. We went to the Clay Pot for the actual date, it is a small Vietnamese restaurant here in Waco. The Starbucks was an after thought, a place where we might have been able to talk, not very creative. She talked some, but the majority of the talking was me, she seemed out of it.
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Does that imply that you met her on the internet?
The Clay Pot does not sound like much fun for a first date to be honest. I think you compounded that by taking her to a starbucks. If talking is a problem for you then take her somewhere you do not have to talk! Maybe the cinema. Or to a nightclub, did you ask her if she even enjoys VC food?

I had a quick look at your blog and it is a bit worrying that your letting this depress you so much. Your comment about your worried to have sex because she might ask you to leave afterwards did make me laugh, sorry, but what would you want her to say? Again, you should not give her the chance to say it if it bothers you. Have sex with her then get out of bed (or off the kitchen table) and say it to her first!!!
 
Doesn't matter who you are...sometime it just doesn't work out.

Are there any young women in your Linux group? Surely there must be women out there who like to play with Linux. ;)
 
thechidz said:
she sounds very forgettable... dont dwell... find someone else
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Tell us more about her. Were did you meet? How did you meet? Does she 'enjoy' Linux or Radio or Apple? What did you talk about on your date? I just get the feeling that she was not on drugs but very bored and lost interest. Thats why she ran from the car when you dropped her off. You have to realise that girls are like blokes. They also want to have sex, its no just a guy thing. Maybe you should stick to my rule when I was 19. We would go to the pub and make light chat with a girl, ask for a shag and if she said no move on to the next girl. If you ask 100 girls you will get one that says yes or maybe more than one ;). Never left a club, pub or party alone using this method.

Why not set up a nerd dating site, or an Nerd orgy club. Just make sure you get some female members otherwise the Orgy might no be so great!!!
 
AndyClarke said:
Does that imply that you met her on the internet?
The Clay Pot does not sound like much fun for a first date to be honest. I think you compounded that by taking her to a starbucks. If talking is a problem for you then take her somewhere you do not have to talk! Maybe the cinema. Or to a nightclub, did you ask her if she even enjoys VC food?

I had a quick look at your blog and it is a bit worrying that your letting this depress you so much. Your comment about your worried to have sex because she might ask you to leave afterwards did make me laugh, sorry, but what would you want her to say? Again, you should not give her the chance to say it if it bothers you. Have sex with her then get out of bed (or off the kitchen table) and say it to her first!!!
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First off I should probably delete some of the other posts on my blog, the problem is I have stuff dating back to 2004, the post you are referring to was from 2007 and I assure you that things are very different for me now as nearly a year as gone by and a lot of aging can be done over a year. And the most recent posting was due to being drunk, the fact is though I should delete that entry as well; however, I think it is good to have a reminder to stay away from the keyboard when drinking.

As for the Clay Pot not being fun for a first date, perhaps it isn't. But nightclubs aren't much fun either when you can't drink and can't dance. My problem isn't with talking I can carry on a conversation very easily over a vast range or topics, the problem isn't with me but with the people I meet not having the same interests as me. I mean I am very interested in politics, science, technology, aliens, paranormal, etc and while I can certainly talk about more mainstream things like music, movies, television my interests are very different than the majority of women. But anyhow, the cinema might not have been a bad idea but she said before that she wanted to go somewhere where we could talk and then she ended up doing extremely little talking. As for her liking Vietnamese food, maybe she didn't and it might not have been the best choice, but it is actually a really nice place and quiet and never a wait for a table and the food is excellent. If she wasn't happy with the dinner and doesn't want to see me again because of that than she isn't the kind of woman I want to date.


Are there any young women in your Linux group? Surely there must be women out there who like to play with Linux.
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There is one woman who actively comes to the meetings and that is one of the guy's wife. My ex went with me to the last meeting I went which was nice of her but she was bored and I didn't make her go she insisted on going (since we go out to dinner after the meeting) and she had a good time at the dinner.

she sounds very forgettable... dont dwell... find someone else
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I am sure I will, and who knows what will happen. I guess I could transform who I am to be more "mainstream" but that would be no fun.
 
'the problem isn't with me but with the people I meet not having the same interests as me'

So the problem is with you then. You need to show more interest in there interests and they will reciprocate the gesture. You will never meet a girl that will only talk about what you like for the rest of her life. That is never going to happen. You might as well accept the fact you will always be single because no relationship will last under those rules, hetro, gay or otherwise.

If you go on another date while your driving to the venue just whip out your love sausage and say 'You know what, lets just f**k. Girls love that approach!

Unless you have a very small penis in which case you might want to start looking in your spam folder for a magical pill, maybe they sell them at the Clay Pot behind the counter?

But seriously you need to decide what you want from life? I would do what makes you happy and if you ever meet somebody that you like be more assertive and stay confident when you meet her. Women are not as interested in looks as you might think. If your not confident you will not have much luck with women.
 
maestro55 said:
- snip -

Why if she wasn't happy didn't she tell me two months ago (before I spent over $100, a lot for me right now, taking her to Austin for her birthday) that she wasn't happy.

/rant

Sorry I am just a bit depressed that I seem to lack the looks, personality, etc to make a woman happy.
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You got off easy man, it could have been A LOT worse.

Don't get down on yourself, everything comes in time.
 
AndyClarke said:
'the problem isn't with me but with the people I meet not having the same interests as me'

So the problem is with you then. You need to show more interest in there interests and they will reciprocate the gesture. You will never meet a girl that will only talk about what you like for the rest of her life. That is never going to happen. You might as well accept the fact you will always be single because no relationship will last under those rules, hetro, gay or otherwise.

If you go on another date while your driving to the venue just whip out your love sausage and say 'You know what, lets just f**k. Girls love that approach!

Unless you have a very small penis in which case you might want to start looking in your spam folder for a magical pill, maybe they sell them at the Clay Pot behind the counter?

But seriously you need to decide what you want from life? I would do what makes you happy and if you ever meet somebody that you like be more assertive and stay confident when you meet her. Women are not as interested in looks as you might think. If your not confident you will not have much luck with women.
Click to expand...

And I attempted several times to get her to talk about her interests, because I am certainly open to learning new things and perhaps gaining new interests, but she didn't seem interested in talking about her interests (I gathered an interest in Music and she wants to travel, that is about it) and so that means I am forced to carry on a conversation. I tried to amuse her with tales of my travels but I think I came off as trying to brag (though that wasn't the case, she might have taken it the wrong way because she has never been out of the state much less to many of the cities I have been to in the state).

The bottom line though is that I am very paranoid and over analyze every little thing. So who knows.
 
maestro55 said:
- snip -

The bottom line though is that I am very paranoid and over analyze every little thing. So who knows.
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Why even dwell on it? The date is over, she wasn't interested, move on, there's a million fish in the sea, you will find someone, but if the date was like you say it was, she wasn't for you anyhow.
 
dont worry about it, get to know a woman through work or through friends that is how it worked for me and it worked out perfect!!! seriously just meeting random girls for dates NEVER works out right. Try hanging out in places that interest you and see who you meet!
 
To the OP: If you have problems getting a conversation going, one of the best places to take a girl is to the cinema. Obviously, you would have to choose a film which both of you would enjoy, but it should leave a lot of room for conversation afterwards.

It doesn't seem as though you broke any rules during your date, but rather that this girl was just not really interested.
 
Mod's note: I've deleted a number of borderline posts from this thread. Please remember that this forum is read by people of all ages, thank you.
 
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