Just graduated need some resume help

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by ghostchild, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. ghostchild macrumors 6502

    ghostchild

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    #1
    Hey all, I just graduated and finished up my resume I was just wondering if you guys could help me look over with some constructive criticism. Although one thing to note is that I never really had a marketing job/internship before, I know its bad but thats what I want to do:

    OBJECTIVE
    Seeking a job in the field of marketing that will allow me to utilize my knowledge and past experience.

    EDUCATION
    B.A., Business Administration
    Some university
    Date of graduation December 2008
    Overall GPA 3.752

    Study Abroad: Hong Kong, China- Fall 2007

    EXPERIENCE
    Merrill Lynch, blah, CA Jun., 2008 – Aug., 2008
    Intern
    • Worked 10-15 hrs/wk while in college, and maintained a 3.7 G.P.A.
    • Worked on Microsoft Office to analyze and maintain financial portfolios.
    • Assisted in supervising the financial growth of four firms in the Inland Empire.

    Dr. Sun Yat Sen Chinese School, blah, CA Jul., 2005 - Aug., 2007
    Tutor/Office Assistant
    • Worked 10-15 hrs/wk while in high school and college, and maintained a 3.8 G.P.A.
    • Conducted morning and afternoon tutoring classes for mathematics and English.
    • Designed daily curriculum to be introduced to students.
    • Composed weekly events to establish and maintain tutor and student relationships within the school.
    • Developed leadership and one on one people skills.
    • Worked on word processing programs to create informative fliers for parents and school staff.
    • Maintained office computer systems and educated fellow staff on computer maintenance and word processing.

    Blah City High School, Blah, CA Sep., 2005 - Jun., 2005
    Teacher's Aide
    • Worked 10-15 hrs/wk while in high school, and maintained a 3.5 G.P.A.
    • Assisted teachers in their work.
    • Work encompassed utilizing word processing programs to enter grades, up keeping vital student information, filing, and assisting teacher in providing daily work for fellow students.

    SKILLS
    Native speaker of Cantonese and English. Proficient in Mandarin language. Strong computer skills and exposure to both Macintosh and Windows applications and operating systems.

    HONORS AND AWARDS
    Chancellor’s Honors List, 2006-2007 Academic Year
    Chancellor’s Honors List, 2005-2006 Academic Year
    Dean's Honors List for seven quarters


    Problem is that with the current economy will I be able to find a job in my field?? And should I put in a RELEVANT COURSEWORK section?
     
  2. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2004
    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI, USA
    #2
    I think one thing you could really work on is taking your pretty impressive experience so far and making it sound more like a commercial for how you help your employer and less self-interested. I.E. You have your GPA listed. As a line item under each of your jobs, no one really cares that you managed to continue turning in your homework assignments and avoid failing while working a job. That's kind of implied by your GPA. I would personally delete the first line from each of those positions altogether, as I don't think it says anything particularly positive about you.

    The other content you have in your jobs is good in the sense that it's action oriented and you're fairly clear about what you personally did. If you can in any way tie things to company (not personal) results, that's always good -- if your actions led to landing business, cost savings, increased efficiency, or other performance metrics for the company, this speaks much more highly than saying you developed people skills as a result of your job, if that makes sense?

    Also in some places, you can sort of allow people to make inferences. I know that a beginner resume is often a pain because you don't have enough info to fill space, but when you say something like, "Worked on word processing programs to create informative fliers for parents and school staff" you can cut to the chase and say you created informative fliers for parents and school staff. They won't assume you did it with rubber cement and construction paper, and it maximizes the chance that someone will notice the important part before they stop reading that line and carriage return to the next.

    As a balance to that, you might add a more specific segment of your skills section to discuss the software on which you're proficient.

    Likewise, if you were involved in student society / leadership type activities -- like a business school student association or the like, you should list that, both in terms of ones in which you were a member and particularly any ones in which you held office.

    That's all general advice -- I've done consulting before but not marketing, so I'd defer to a marketing person in that aspect. A lot of things that don't fly outside marketing and design (like having themed resumes) work there, and that's out of my league.

    Cheers.
     
  3. ghostchild thread starter macrumors 6502

    ghostchild

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    #3
    I will start editing right away thanks!! Keep it coming!!!
     
  4. 63dot macrumors 603

    63dot

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Location:
    norcal
    #4
    As a former HR person, congrats, good skills.

    Now let's get to the resume - too much fluff which will put people like me and any HR person to sleep or want to take a 40 minute bathroom break.

    GPA - round it down to one numeral beyond the decimal point
    bullets - a few is good, but too many shows no confidence in yourself
    dean's list - nice kudos to a student but not needed in non-college world!
    hours worked - amazing, but who cares, really?
    languages - Cantonese, Mandarin, but how many will know or care?

    You have great skills but trim your resume to show the employer you have skills, that they can find on the resume, ones that are easier to find without putting far too much drivel on the resume.

    If you had very little to show, then I would recommend putting down as much as you could, but since you have an impressive resume, just focus on the basic stuff an HR person would look at. Put yourself in the HR person's shoes for one second. Most HR people would look at the resume and throw it away. TMI, you know.

    Anyway, fix it and show us a professional resume, not a detailed diary. It's one way you can show us older, no-nonesense folk you are ready to work and confident in yourself.
     
  5. ghostchild thread starter macrumors 6502

    ghostchild

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    #5
    So what do you guys think now? I still have a ways to go and the SKILLS section is horrible. Any input now you guys?

    OBJECTIVE
    Motivated and resourceful individual pursuing experience in an environment in which I may be able to help increase the prosperity of the company as well as accumulating valuable experience to develop my professional skills in the field of marketing.

    EDUCATION
    B.A., Business Administration
    blah college
    Date of graduation December 2008
    Overall GPA 3.75

    Study Abroad: Hong Kong, China- Fall 2007

    EXPERIENCE
    Merrill Lynch, blah, CA Jun., 2008 – Aug., 2008
    Intern
    • Worked on Microsoft Office to analyze and maintain financial portfolios.
    • Assisted in supervising the financial growth of four firms in the Inland Empire.
    • Investigated mutual fund companies and complied a list of the most profitable ones for the client.
    • Kept confidential client information updated in a data entry programs within company network.
    • Revised supervisor’s documents to be more manageable and efficient to read.
    • Built and maintained professional relationships within the workplace and clients.

    Dr. Sun Yat Sen Chinese School, blah, CA Jul., 2005 - Aug., 2007
    Tutor/Office Assistant
    • Assisted students in improving their mathematics and English abilities.
    • Designed daily curriculum to be introduced to students.
    • Maintained office computer systems while educating fellow staff on computer maintenance and word-processing in order to run more efficiently.
    • Worked on word processing programs to create communicative fliers for parents and staff.
    • Composed weekly events to establish and maintain tutor and student relationships within the school.
    • Developed leadership and one on one people skills.

    blah High School, blah, CA Sep., 2005 - Jun., 2005
    Teacher's Aide
    • Assisted teachers in their work.
    • Work encompassed utilizing word-processing programs to record data and process vital student information.

    SKILLS
    Computer: Strong computer skills and exposure to both Macintosh and Windows applications and operating systems. Very efficient with word-processing, design, and web design applications. Microsoft Office, Adobe Creative Suite.
    Languages: English, Cantonese, Mandarin
     

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