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Liking someone

TSE

TSE

macrumors 601
Original poster
Jun 25, 2007
4,092
3,740
St. Paul, Minnesota
I have a problem that has haunted me somewhat since I hit puberty.

Whenever I like a girl, I will almost obsess over her, not in a creepy way, but I will not be able to get her off my mind and stuff and I will be really nice to her and the usual.

Well as soon as I get her to like me back and show affection towards me, I immediately don't like said girl anymore.

This has happened about 5 or 6 times. I am going to be a sophomore in college this year, is this just immaturity or just a really long phase? Does anyone else have this problem?
 
TSE said:
I have a problem that has haunted me somewhat since I hit puberty.

Whenever I like a girl, I will almost obsess over her, not in a creepy way, but I will not be able to get her off my mind and stuff and I will be really nice to her and the usual.

Well as soon as I get her to like me back and show affection towards me, I immediately don't like said girl anymore.

This has happened about 5 or 6 times. I am going to be a sophomore in college this year, is this just immaturity or just a really long phase? Does anyone else have this problem?
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I know a few cats like this. For them (maybe you too?) it's all about the thrill of the hunt. They'll do everything they can to get these girls to like them, bone them once or twice and then never talk to them again. Apparently, once the feeling is mutual they peace out.

Go on, have your fun. There's nothing wrong with you, I feel. Maybe you build up the idea of a relationship with the girl so much in your head, that when it comes to fruition it doesn't live up to expectations and you're disappointed as a result.

When you find a girl that you really want to stay with after the feeling is mutual -you know you have your keeper.
 
I've done this a few times, it boils down to wanting what I can't have though the attraction tends to die after actually having slept with them, which has at times been pretty inconvenient as they were still very interested. It didn't happen with my longer lasting relationships as there was actually something there rather than just physical attraction.

Were I to date now I'm sure I'd do the same with a fair few people until I found someone right, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it unless you're suddenly uninterested in people you logically think you really should still be into?
 
it sounds like you're obviously more interested in the "idea" of being with someone, and once the chase occurs and getting the object of your affection comes to fruition, you are no longer interested.

is there something that usually happens when you become disinterested?
 
MattAtlanta said:
it sounds like you're obviously more interested in the "idea" of being with someone, and once the chase occurs and getting the object of your affection comes to fruition, you are no longer interested.

is there something that usually happens when you become disinterested?
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This happened just yesterday.

Girl I met at college who just happens to live in the Twin Cities. She accepts me for who I am, knows I have problems but fully accepts it. I really liked her and was trying to get her this summer.

I go to my lake last night and invite her and her best buddy (who happens to be gay). We have a few drinks. Her buddy asks me if I like her, I say yes. He says she likes me a lot too and she always talks about me with him and her other friends.

Go to cuddle with her last night while we both falling asleep. Wake up, realize I don't like her anymore, although I liked her for about 6 months before last night.
 
TSE said:
This happened just yesterday.

Girl I met at college who just happens to live in the Twin Cities. She accepts me for who I am, knows I have problems but fully accepts it. I really liked her and was trying to get her this summer.

I go to my lake last night and invite her and her best buddy (who happens to be gay). We have a few drinks. Her buddy asks me if I like her, I say yes. He says she likes me a lot too and she always talks about me with him and her other friends.

Go to cuddle with her last night while we both falling asleep. Wake up, realize I don't like her anymore, although I liked her for about 6 months before last night.
Click to expand...

The key is her friend. Your subconscious is yelling it.
 
well that is interesting... sounds like a fear of commitment.

you have this idyllic picture about you and said other, and then when confronted with moving from "fantasy" to reality this becomes more than you're willing to pursue... too much effort is required at this point.

and perhaps, this might stem from a reluctance to want to open yourself up to being vulnerable.

this is not uncommon, as i've experienced this problem myself. i would imagine that it's nice to get the confirmation of knowing that the person you took a shining to likes you or is interested in you as well, but beyond that, you're ready to move on to someone else.
 
Just go against your instincts and go after her anyway. After all, you know you're being irrational, so just go ask her out. It'll pay off in the end because you know you'll end up with a girl you actually like, regardless of what your brain is telling you right now.


And you'll get laid.
 
Peace said:
Hate to say this but........

Go get laid.
Click to expand...

and/or masturbate. Problem solved. For about 2 hours. :p

sankersizzle said:
Maybe you're of the gay and you don't know it yet?
Click to expand...
I realize that OPs are, by all known internet laws, in on dat f*g*y time, I think in this instance we can forego that hypothesis. Give the man some benefit of doubt.
 
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