Limiting kids on iPhone 5c

[AlphaHumanus]

Too intrusive. Raise them well enough to be honest and trustful.



Making your kid sign a contract is lame.

Gotta disagree. A lot of the limitations of smartphone usage that I have seen suggested are part of "Raising them well enough to be honest and trustful." I'm not saying you're wrong, just that my opinion differs. I'm an earn my trust first type of parent. I pre-empt most things my son does/gets with the lesson/moral I believe he should walk away with. He has had his own (no service) iPhone since about 3. I fully understand that as he gets older, the phone will become more and more of a "hassle," but it's an experience that I set up purposely, and am ready for. I wouldn't install find friends or whatever, but I'll definitely monitor his usage very closely.

Well at my school we can use are phones anytime but in class.

Really? wow. it was a "if I see it, you lose it" situation when I was in high school. And come college, I was asked to vacate a room more than once just for having my phone ring.

 

[andyw715]

How's this better than teaching them the responsibility of informing you?

You said that, I didn't.

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

Not knowing about an individual, a relationship, or a family has never, unfortunately, stood in the way of the some apparently omniscient posters here from commenting, advising and/or criticizing how others live their lives.

And worse yet, there are some who even solicit this input...amazing!

That's expected in a public forum. Nobody owns a thread and we're all entitled to our opinions.

Anyway, someone brought up Find Friends. I simply said that's too intrusive if we already have Find My iPhone. Several members countered it's not intrusive without explaining why Find My iPhone can't fit the bill (except I7guy eventually who said it's for convenience as agreed upon as a family).

Gotta disagree. A lot of the limitations of smartphone usage that I have seen suggested are part of "Raising them well enough to be honest and trustful." I'm not saying you're wrong, just that my opinion differs. I'm an earn my trust first type of parent. I pre-empt most things my son does/gets with the lesson/moral I believe he should walk away with. He has had his own (no service) iPhone since about 3. I fully understand that as he gets older, the phone will become more and more of a "hassle," but it's an experience that I set up purposely, and am ready for. I wouldn't install find friends or whatever, but I'll definitely monitor his usage very closely.

What are you talking about? Find Friends being too intrusive? You can't monitor his usage using that, only his whereabout. Use restrictions for usage, etc. Otherwise, I don't disagree with what you wrote per se.

You said that, I didn't.

Then why suggest it at all? Why do you need an app to let you know your kid is ready to be picked up and not have him/her shoulder the task of letting you know? That's rather impersonal.

 

[AlphaHumanus]

What are you talking about? Find Friends being too intrusive? You can't monitor his usage using that, only his whereabout. Use restrictions for usage, etc. Otherwise, I don't disagree with what you wrote per se.

I have no experience with find friends, so I can't comment on it. Also, like you've mentioned, isn't that what find my phone is for? I meant monitor usage in a more general sense. Like no snapchat/instagram/similar apps. access to all passwords and that type of thing. Facebook/myspace/etc is all at my disposal until 18.

all in all, different strokes for different folks. nobody is "right" when it comes to raising humans, IMHO. I've seen some excellent parents raise the worst people...

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

I have no experience with find friends, so I can't comment on it. Also, like you've mentioned, isn't that what find my phone is for? I meant monitor usage in a more general sense. Like no snapchat/instagram/similar apps. access to all passwords and that type of thing. Facebook/myspace/etc is all at my disposal until 18.

all in all, different strokes for different folks. nobody is "right" when it comes to raising humans, IMHO. I've seen some excellent parents raise the worst people...

Yes, I agree with what you just wrote. I just don't know what you meant by "Gotta disagree" in response to my post. I wasn't talking about monitoring usage as being intrusive.

 

[andyw715]

Then why suggest it at all? Why do you need an app to let you know your kid is ready to be picked up and not have him/her shoulder the task of letting you know? That's rather impersonal.

The OP said his kids have phones to check in when they got home from school and when they decided to go to friends house.

He then also said that the kids have iPods and they use the iPods as a tool to enforce behavior.

2 totally different things.

Now he wants to get them phone + ipod (iPhone) and figure out how to disable the fun stuff on the phone as needed.

You and post #3 turned it into some child rearing thread, which as we all know is similar to talking about politics and religion.

My point of view is
a) he wants to know when the kids get home from school each day. This could be satisfied by the kid sending the message or have it automated with IFTTT.

This seems to be an important thing to him, if he wants it to be a factor in behavior management then the kids can still send the text manually.

To me I'd be more interested in knowing my kid came home rather than how I was notified (i.e I'd rather be notified 100% of the time that they got home safe rather than judge their behavior on if they sent a txt or not)

b) the fun part of the phone needs to be regulated.
For this you can use the Restrictions function of the iPhone and limit the apps available to those that come with the phone. ("Don't Allow Apps" setting in the Content menu)

 

[AlphaHumanus]

Yes, I agree with what you just wrote. I just don't know what you meant by "Gotta disagree" in response to my post. I wasn't talking about monitoring usage as being intrusive.

I've read your posts. You've always struck me as like minded. (Intelligent, logical)

 

[andyw715]

One word of caution with the Restrictions thing (well not caution but annoyance).

If you change the setting to "Don't Allow Apps" then decide later to change it back...your home screens get all messed up A bug? Not sure.

Also Find My Phone is limited to primary iCloud accounts in iOS 7
i.e. each phone would have to be using the same iCloud account (primary) in order for them all to show up under the same iCloud account.

In iOS 6 you could turn off FMP in the primary iCloud account and enable it in a secondary one. Can't do that anymore.
So if you are interested in monitoring a bunch of devices you either need to have them all under one iCloud account (and possibly pay for additional backup storage) OR log into each icloud account separately to FMP.

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

To me I'd be more interested in knowing my kid came home rather than how I was notified (i.e I'd rather be notified 100% of the time that they got home safe rather than judge their behavior on if they sent a txt or not)

I'm simply of the opinion that using an app rather than "Hello, Dad, I'm now home" is rather impersonal. Eventually they'll get old enough and it'll become unnecessary. I'm not surprised though. I see families at dinner tables glued to their phones rather than communicate with each other.

I've read your posts. You've always struck me as like minded. (Intelligent, logical)

Thanks for the compliment.

 

[andyw715]

I'm simply of the opinion that using an app rather than "Hello, Dad, I'm now home" is rather impersonal. Eventually they'll get old enough and it'll become unnecessary. I'm not surprised though. I see families at dinner tables glued to their phones rather than communicate with each other.

Sounds good, you could make the IFTTT recipe say "Hello, Dad, I'm home now"


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Notice the OP hasn't been back? Prolly said "F-this"

 

[IpadSC400]

1. You can control what they download. I saw a kid the other day with an iPhone 4 who was about 9yrs old. I mentioned to him about a cool free game (Zombie Tsunami) and before he downloaded he asked his dad. The father entered the password to the Apps store.

2. Install Find friends. This way you can find where they are. Oh and if they try sneaking the iPhone to school.

3. Don't allow them to download any chat apps. Those are hard to monitor. You can monitor the text from Message.

4. Make them sign a contract. They aren't allowed to do anything inappropriate. Let others use their phones. Anything that you don't want them to do. Use this

http://gma.yahoo.com/moms-18-point-iphone-rules-son-143831843--abc-news-parenting.html



The most I've seen kids that age do is Instagram, Twitter. If they are responsible and respectable of your rules, you should be fine.

What is this, prison? making them sign a contract is so dumb. If I had kids that ignored me and was dishonest, I wouldn't get them an iPhone, much less, and iPhone 5c for 400+. What's wrong with their iPods?
Their reward for being good shouldn't be for stuff. Otherwise, they'll be 18 yo and asking for money because they're good. My personal 2 cents.

BTW, I'm 17, and I didn't get stuff until I was responsible enough to to what I was told, especially by my Parents.

 

[zorinlynx]

I don't have kids, so I may be talking out of my ass, but...

Shouldn't the move from a dumb phone to a smart phone be sort of like moving from having a bicycle to a car?

IE, don't get your kids a smart phone until they're old enough to be responsible for it? I'm hearing of kids as young as 5 having smart phones now... At that age do you really need to be worrying about such things?

Just my opinion. Since I don't have kids it's probably not justified, I'm basing it on the way I grew up in my family.

 

[Ann P]

Limiting kids on iPhone 5c

LOL. Love how this thread escalated.

 

[mofunk]

Exactly Ann P ! smh I like how when someone gives a suggestion to OP, you find others attacking or commenting (if you will) what they've posted to help the OP instead of helping. This parent wanted some suggestion on Limiting the usage not a flood of "negative comments".


@kkrew2007 Depending on your plan you might want to turn Cellular Data off so that they can only use wifi. Most schools have wifi access so they can use that. Teach them about not using wifi that says "free wifi". You can download usage apps like DataMan to monitor usage?

 

[Robster3]

We wouldn't leave our 11 year old daughter at home alone, and if she goes out with friends there is a parent with a phone. She will get a iphone when she is 15 like her brother just did. No need for a phone at 11. She has a iPod and ipad mini for iMessage and FaceTime with friends.

 

[LaynieGorilla]

That doesn't surprise me. When I was in school you were not even supposed to have them in the building. However, that was a long time ago.

My school couldn't either until my mom made a couple of phone calls lol (and probably a lot of other parents around the city). We were eventually allowed in with them as long as we didn't us it in school. As crazy as these school are now I'm glad they relaxed the cellphone policy.

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Notice the OP hasn't been back? Prolly said "F-this"

lol I was thinking that also

 

[kkrew2007]

Thank you for those who have replied. Enabling restrictions and changing Allowed Content to "Don't Allow Apps" is exactly what I was looking for.

 

[kaylerrific]

I think the people on here who mention trusting your kids completely don't remember what it's like to be an adolescent!

 

[Primejimbo]

1. You can control what they download. I saw a kid the other day with an iPhone 4 who was about 9yrs old. I mentioned to him about a cool free game (Zombie Tsunami) and before he downloaded he asked his dad. The father entered the password to the Apps store.

2. Install Find friends. This way you can find where they are. Oh and if they try sneaking the iPhone to school.

And you can make it so they can't delete Find my Friends, or turn it off too. I did this with my daughters iPod Touch, and I will do it when she gets an iPhone.

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

I think the people on here who mention trusting your kids completely don't remember what it's like to be an adolescent!

Nobody said anything about trusting their kids completely, only that constantly monitoring their whereabout using Find Friends is too intrusive. Otherwise, you have Find My iPhone in the case of an emergency. Of course it'll depend on the kid, but the point is to raise them well enough so you don't have to do that (unless they're special need kids, which is understandable).

 

[I7guy]

That's baloney. A parent who trusts his or her kids does not use Find Friends to monitor them, especially given we already have Find My iPhone in the case of an emergency.

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You cannot use Find My iPhone if/when necessary because.....?

I guess I have to go back to this.

You certainly can feel free to raise your kids (that is if you even have them) the way you want. My kids have had phones for a long time to keep us informed about where they were.

Find my friends would not have been an option earlier and the phone would have been locked down. It's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of a parent being responsible for their children until the age of 18. That you believe in the building trust and confidence, okay in your family, I'm not here to tell anyone how to raise their children on the interwebs.

I want to be able to find my minor children when I want if the technology exists. If my kids didn't like it, they would have been sporting an LG flip phone.

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Nobody said anything about trusting their kids completely, only that constantly monitoring their whereabout using Find Friends is too intrusive. Otherwise, you have Find My iPhone in the case of an emergency. Of course it'll depend on the kid, but the point is to raise them well enough so you don't have to do that (unless they're special need kids, which is understandable).

Again, that is your view. In my view, it is a completely acceptable thing for a parent to do with a minor child sporting an iphone..as long as the parent is upfront about the conditions of having an iphone. Although Verizon does have a similar feature that you can pay for and don't need "find my iphone or find my friends".

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

Find my friends would not have been an option earlier and the phone would have been locked down. It's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of a parent being responsible for their children until the age of 18. That you believe in the building trust and confidence, okay in your family, I'm not here to tell anyone how to raise their children on the interwebs.need "find my iphone or find my friends".

We're talking about two different things. You're talking about locking the phone down. I'm talking about locking the kid down. When I was the OP's kids age, my parents allowed me to skateboard quite a distance to stores but I was trustworthy enough not to shoplift, etc. and I always informed them where I was going. Guess what, we didn't have cell phones back then, not even my parents. If the iPhone existed back then it wouldn't have made a difference whether or not Find Friends were on as they would never have monitored my whereabouts in real time. Just Find My iPhone and Restrictions would be sufficient.

 

[I7guy]

We're talking about two different things. You're talking about locking the phone down. I'm talking about locking the kid down. When I was the OP's kids age, my parents allowed me to skateboard quite a distance to stores but I was trustworthy enough not to shoplift, etc. and I always informed them where I was going. Guess what, we didn't have cell phones back then, not even my parents. If the iPhone existed back then it wouldn't have made a difference whether or not Find Friends were on as they would never have monitored my whereabouts in real time. Just Find My iPhone and Restrictions would be sufficient.

As I said things were different 30 years ago and I'm discussing minors. When I was 8 years old I could ride the NYC subways without my parents worrying about me not returning home. It is not the case now, in 2013.

The technology exists to know where your minors are when you want to know and I for one don't require a minors' consent decree to use it.

 

[JayLenochiniMac]

As I said things were different 30 years ago and I'm discussing minors. When I was 8 years old I could ride the NYC subways without my parents worrying about me not returning home. It is not the case now, in 2013.

The technology exists to know where your minors are when you want to know and I for one don't require a minors' consent decree to use it.

Impressive that your parents allowed you to ride the NYC subways at age 8. In my area, it's no more dangerous or safer skateboarding from home to stores than 30 years ago.

There's a big difference between not trusting your kid enough to let you know where he is such that you have to monitor them constantly using Find Friend and using Find My iPhone in case something is wrong and your kid hasn't come home and isn't responding.

Like I said, nobody owns this thread and we're all entitled to our opinions. Someone suggested draconian measures to the OP and I am free to disagree with them. You are free to disagree with me. We're allowed to have a constructive debate about it. Nobody is telling anyone how to parent.

 

[I7guy]

Impressive that your parents allowed you to ride the NYC subways at age 8. In my area, it's no more dangerous or safer skateboarding from home to stores than 30 years ago.

There's a big difference between not trusting your kid enough to let you know where he is such that you have to monitor them constantly using Find Friend and using Find My iPhone in case something is wrong and your kid hasn't come home and isn't responding.

Like I said, nobody owns this thread and we're all entitled to our opinions. Someone suggested draconian measures to the OP and I am free to disagree with them. You are free to disagree with me. We're allowed to have a constructive debate about it. Nobody is telling anyone how to parent.

To not have your area change in 30 years is impressive...I don't know whether 30 years ago it was safe or dangerous...but that's beside the point. No urban area that I know off over 250,000 from Seattle to Miami has not changed for the worse in 30 years; guns, violence, gangs, drugs. Plenty of reasons to keep an eye on your minor.

As you are, I am free to parent that way I want, and to disagree constructively. However, you are not changing my opinion not one iota as I am not changing yours. I like being able to find out where my family is if needed or just because. And vice-versa as it relates to me.