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"At Apple, we're always pushing our products forward."
(inner voice "except the iPad Mini, that thing was stealing away sales from the more profitable larger iPads")
 
"Big releases"??? iWatches? iPhones? Home pods (as an afterthought)?

I almost got excited when I saw the picture of two Macs, ... but alas, it was only to announce Mojave. Yay. *sigh*
 
"At Apple we always push our products further..." Except for Mac Mini, because f*** Mac mini... LOL
 
You paid nearly as much for your Pixel 2 and it doesn’t even have half the per-core power of the iPhone X. Even a 6S would be a step up. You’d get headphones with that too.
That is probably exactly why they don't want to spend the money, lol. "I already spent a lot of money so I don't want to spend a lot of money again" makes sense to me.
 
Timmy ends with one last cringey remark "I'd like to thank all the people at Apple who made this magical day possible"
 
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