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upsguy27

upsguy27

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jun 25, 2007
1,210
19
Utah
So, completely hypothetically... let's say this guy and girl are best friends currently who used to date, and are also **** buddies, and they go to this party with this other guy that has already been previously hated by the first guy. This irrational hatred is due to the second guy (hereafter referred to as "dick") and the girl going to a party months ago with the main guy, and it ending up being them getting drunk and him feeling her up. Not really that big of a deal, but it bothered the guy extremely and still does to this day.

So, now there's this other party, that the guy, girl, and dick end up going to together. The night is going great, though the guy has fears that the night will end up the same way it did last time. As everyone is going to sleep, they're all over each other, drunken and he's basically feeling her up again (the dick), so the guy gets an overwhelming feeling of jealousy and after unsuccessfully trying to get them apart and looking like an idiot, runs away from the party and doesn't come back till morning.

QUESTION IS, IN THIS TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, IS IT COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FOR THE GUY TO HAVE EXTREME JEALOUSY TOWARD THE GIRL AND THE DICK

That applies to both times too, the party months ago and the much more recent one. Is he justified in feeling hardcore jealous (considering the fact that the guy and girl are best friend **** buddies), or is the jealousy completely unjustified? Also, just because he got/gets extremely jealous of that kind of thing doesn't HAVE to mean he has romantic feelings for her, right?
 
**** buddies will only work if you have basically no feelings towards the buddy. In this case you clearly do, hence the jealousy. I'd suggest you need to re-assess the **** buddy status...
 
I hate your entire generation. **** buddies! Unreal. When I was in HS, if you got a BJ from your GIRLFRIEND you had been dating for years, you were lucky beyond belief. Now, you get to have sex with your friends just because, hey, that's what **** buddies do! Unbelievable!


To answer your questions, yes, it seems like you have feelings for your friends and that's is why you are jealous. Something you shouldn't be if you are just buddies. Even **** buddies.....


Did I mention I hate your generation?
 
Yeah, I understand that under normal circumstances, it would be bad to feel that jealousy because of the whole **** buddies concept but, it's more than just that with her, we're best friends, we do literally everything a normal couple would do, physically and emotionally, just without the official dating title and of course without the romantic feelings. So when I see the same thing going on with another guy, drunk or not, I think it's kind of okay to get jealous?
 
upsguy27 said:
Yeah, I understand that under normal circumstances, it would be bad to feel that jealousy because of the whole **** buddies concept but, it's more than just that with her, we're best friends, we do literally everything a normal couple would do, physically and emotionally, just without the official dating title and of course without the romantic feelings. So when I see the same thing going on with another guy, drunk or not, I think it's kind of okay to get jealous?
Click to expand...

I think its perfectly normal to get jealous. However, I think it does show that you might have some romantic feelings for her.
 
upsguy27 said:
...without the romantic feelings...
Click to expand...

It's clear you have the romantic feelings. If it was just about getting some every so often you'd not care about what she does with anything else. This is the stuff of low-quality Holywood date movies. Apart from the fact that unless you do something, make it clear you want to date her, there will not be a happy ending. Just heartache, bitterness and pain.
 
upsguy27 said:
Yeah, I understand that under normal circumstances, it would be bad to feel that jealousy because of the whole **** buddies concept but, it's more than just that with her, we're best friends, we do literally everything a normal couple would do, physically and emotionally, just without the official dating title and of course without the romantic feelings. So when I see the same thing going on with another guy, drunk or not, I think it's kind of okay to get jealous?
Click to expand...

You are lying to yourself, and everyone around you. You DO have those feelings toward each other. Just one or both of you are too afraid to acknowledge them, retreating to the safety of not labeling what you have.

If she is that special, tell her. Take the label if she feels the same way, and then punch dick in the mouth if it bothers you that much. Then, get over it.
 
I picture us dating again, and it seems much worse than what we have now... I love what we have and everything, it's great, there are just times like this where jealously comes out. I honestly don't believe I have hardcore romantic feelings for her anymore, and I don't think she does either, I think what we have has become something better than dating for both of us. I've been able to keep the jealousy under control, except for these two damn incidents...
 
LOL Obviously you have spent too much time rationalizing this in your head, and came here only for approval of what you settled on. I stand by previous statements.

For the record, don't take offense to my statement about rationalizing in your own head and looking for approval. Every single person on the planet does it. It's more or less like a defense mechanism of sorts.
 
Robbie is correct.

You call yourselves **** buddies, but it is obvious that only she feels that way.

You need to bet, or fold.

If she is not interested, back away, and find release in 'other' ways.
 
Tell the girl how you feel. Including your thoughts on the other guy (dick).


First, you definitely have feelings for this girl. Second, if she does have feelings for you, she'll have no problem not talking to the (dick) again.


If she tries to make excuses about how she likes talking/hanging to/out with that guy, then, it's not worth your time.
 
Mac'nCheese said:
I think its perfectly normal to get jealous. However, I think it does show that you might have some romantic feelings for her.
Click to expand...

If I recall, the Op has a history of being alarmingly jealous in a very unhealthy way.

OP, a **** buddy is not for you.
 
This totally makes you and the other guy bajingo brothers.

You should totally invite him 'round for some bromantic action. Maybe a pizza, beers, watch a game.

You could have a threesome and get your **** buddy to watch.
 
upsguy27 said:
Yeah, I understand that under normal circumstances, it would be bad to feel that jealousy because of the whole **** buddies concept but, it's more than just that with her, we're best friends, we do literally everything a normal couple would do, physically and emotionally, just without the official dating title and of course without the romantic feelings. So when I see the same thing going on with another guy, drunk or not, I think it's kind of okay to get jealous?
Click to expand...

Does she echo the sentiment you've expressed here in regard to the relationship?

In my (regretful) experience most everything one does drunk is a pretty good indication of what they wish they could do/ say sober.

neko girl said:
I can't read the ****s. Do you mean iPad buddies?
Click to expand...

Yes, and they Bump. A lot.
 
You need to watch No Strings Attached, **** buddies never works out without someone catching feelings for the other.

The Guy Should Move on, Clearly Dick is trying to becomes a **** buddy and **** buddies are only **** buddies nothing more...UNLESS feelings are mutual
 
Mac'nCheese said:
I hate your entire generation. **** buddies! Unreal. When I was in HS, if you got a BJ from your GIRLFRIEND you had been dating for years, you were lucky beyond belief. Now, you get to have sex with your friends just because, hey, that's what **** buddies do! Unbelievable!


To answer your questions, yes, it seems like you have feelings for your friends and that's is why you are jealous. Something you shouldn't be if you are just buddies. Even **** buddies.....


Did I mention I hate your generation?
Click to expand...

LOL agreed. Sadly, i'm apart of the generation and it just disgusts me. I feel that kids younger and younger will start sleeping with each other, until it's gonna get to a point where it can't and it'll plateau, until some next thing like "threesomes are the norm" will come up.
 
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