Making friends online?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by macmama, May 14, 2007.

  1. macmama macrumors regular

    macmama

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    New Jersey
    #1
    So I was inspired to start a separate discussion on this topic after it came up over here. What are your feelings about meeting people online? Chatting? Meeting up "IRL"? Do you consider online friends in the same way you do people that you met face-to-face the first time? How much of this is generational or regional? Inquiring minds want to know... :D

    ETA: Yes, I'm referring to meeting people for the first time, online. Sorry if that was unclear!
     
  2. killmoms macrumors 68040

    killmoms

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2003
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    #2
    As in meeting people with whom your first contact with was online?

    Well, honestly, I don't subscribe to the "dangerous world" phenomenon, so I tend to assume most people online (assuming they don't present evidence to the contrary) are pretty normal people. Over the years (more and more as I've gotten older, like into college age) I've met many people I've interacted with online only. I now have several people who I met online and subsequently met in "meatspace" and am good friends with.

    As for comparing them in terms of friendship, I think after a long enough time online friends can be pretty much the same as IRL friends. Obviously you don't DO things together necessarily (unless you live close enough to do so), but you share a lot and talk all the time. Sometimes the semi-anonymous nature of the Internet helps people be more open with each other than might occur in real life, which can be both good and bad.

    I guess I don't consider one better than the other, I think there are benefits to both. But I don't think it's that weird to meet online friends in real life. :)
     
  3. Telp macrumors 68040

    Telp

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2007
    #3
    I think its fine to make friends online. I am very wary about who they are, the information they ask, etc. etc. but overall, i think it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.
     
  4. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    #4
    i've made plenty of friends online who i've both met in real life and who have merely remained only online friends.

    its sometimes easier to talk to people online because it (at least for me) allows inhibitions to be dropped and exposes people a bit more bluntly than real life allows sometimes.

    i don't consider either meeting of people better or any difference. so long as they prove trustworthy and honest to me they'll have my trust.

    perhaps it is generational, but who knows.
     
  5. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #5
    You can either meet a person for the first time at a bar and not know anything about them or meet them online and not know anything about them. I don't see a difference in either. If you get to know a person in a bar or online you are taking the same risks. In a bar you are seeing the person face to face while online you are talking first them maybe meeting second. With any meetings there are risks that you take.
     
  6. Mord macrumors G4

    Mord

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2003
    Location:
    UK
    #6
    I've never met anyone for the first time in a one to one setting, only after meeting them at an event have I ever met up with just one person for dinner/lunch or whatever.

    Past group meetage I've done it a bunch of times, it's no big deal.
     
  7. bartelby macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    #7
    I met plenty of people off different forums. In fact at the end of the month I have a gathering of people from one, very small, forum. We have people coming from:

    France
    The Netherlands
    California
    & Sydney

    as well as from across the UK.
    We are all consider ourselves to be close friends.

    I also hope the people I talk to regularly on MR consider me to be a friend...
     
  8. mattscott306 macrumors 68040

    mattscott306

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    #8
    No need to hope there mate. :D
     
  9. Jasonbot macrumors 68020

    Jasonbot

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Location:
    The Rainbow Nation RSA
    #9
    I read an article on this, and my headmaster spoke about it in chapel once. He also reffered to flaming as a malicious practise and recently in light of this a school student was expelled for similar practises.

    But I do attempt to make friends online and it does indeed sometimes seem easier though awkward. Maybe Ill meet some macrumors peopel one day- pm me if u're coming to South Africa some time :D
     
  10. thedude110 macrumors 68020

    thedude110

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
  11. Dr.Gargoyle macrumors 65816

    Dr.Gargoyle

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2004
    Location:
    lat: 55.7222°N, long: 13.1971°E
    #11
    I actually think the net is a good place to meet people, given you talk long enough. My own experience is that when you met someone on the net you get to know the "real" person much faster than IRL. Just as IRL, people can just keep up a fake facade that long and the true side is revealed faster on the net.
    When it comes to relationships beyond friendship, you need "chemistry" and to see if that is there you need to meet IRL.
    The net is excellent for making friends, but I don't think you can get beyond that without actually meeting.
     
  12. macmama thread starter macrumors regular

    macmama

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    New Jersey
    #12
    I don't think it matters much either nowadays. It's just another avenue for people to mingle and get to know one another, and just because it's different than how folks did it years ago, doesn't mean it's bad.

    That said; I think it can be a crutch if people let it. I had a college roommate who only sought companionship through online personal ads. I found that to be a tad antisocial, but had the internet not existed, I'm sure she'd have found another way to avoid meeting people face-to-face.

    I've met some truly wonderful people online, some who are very dear friends now.
     
  13. aprilgrey34 macrumors member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Location:
    CT
    #13
    Hm... I've found that the people with whom I get along great online, I have difficulty getting along with in person. And vice versa: I prefer to talk with most of my real-life friends in person or on the phone; online conversations are weird. I had a boyfriend during college (we went to different schools) and we had great chemistry and deep conversations over IM and email... but whenever we met up, we would have nothing to say to each other and it would be quite awkward... and we would just end up making out for most of our time together. And my own brother... it's so much easier to chat with him over IM! Even though we've lived together for the majority of his 23 years, our real-time conversations are mostly grunts and blinking blankly at each other!

    That being said... I wouldn't say I have a lot of friends anyway. I'm generally pretty anti-social, I think, and not a very good friend-maker. *Sigh* Hm... this thread is making me sad! :(
     
  14. Clarence macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2007
    Location:
    a mud puddle with a toyota sign in it
    #14

    I was thinking of taking this idea a step farther, and starting a "MR Singles" thread here. Maybe a pic, a little bit about yourself, and what your looking for? What do you guys and girls think?
     
  15. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #15
    I've made friends on MR...most of the people how post here(the big ones) I'd call my friends, if I were to meet them at a store, I could talk to them...then their are the ones I talk to on AIM, who are even closer friends.
     
  16. wildthing1994 macrumors member

    wildthing1994

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2007
    #16
    Aw you two should hug.:eek:
     
  17. mattscott306 macrumors 68040

    mattscott306

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    #17
    That whole atlantic ocean separating our two countries thing makes that difficult.
     

Share This Page