Man Marries His iPhone

[willmtaylor]

No joke:
http://www.ktnv.com/news/man-marries-smart-phone-at-las-vegas-chapel

Here in Las Vegas, we've seen nuptials at the Neon Museum, pet nuptials, and weed weddings.

One thing we haven’t seen until now is groom taking his love for his phone to a whole new level.

If there's anywhere in the world you can marry your smartphone, it's probably Las Vegas.

"At first it was like what?” said The Little Las Vegas Chapel owner Michael Kelly. “And then I was like... Alright let’s do it.

"We don't really have many people that marry inanimate objects."

It all went down at The Little Vegas Chapel on May 20 when Aaron Chervenak drove all the way from Los
Angeles to marry the love of his life, his smart phone.

Kelly tells us Chervenak simply wanted to send a message to society.

“People are so connected to their phones and they live with them all the time,” said Kelly. “They're with them 24 hours a day. They go to sleep with their cell phone. They wake up with their cell phone, sometimes it's the first thing that they check."

Sounds like marriage?

“I think he wanted to explore that,” Kelly said. “Can technology become human?"

...at least not until Siri has legit AI and the voice of Scarlett Johansson.

 

[keysofanxiety]

Well, that's one way to get a thinner and lighter wife every year.

 

[0007776]

Will he get a divorce when he upgrades?

 

[fitshaced]

His wife doesn't have to testify against him in court. Smart criminal.

 

[willmtaylor]

His wife doesn't have to testify against him in court. Smart criminal.

She does if he uses TouchID in lieu of a passcode.

 

[fitshaced]

She does if he uses TouchID in lieu of a passcode.

That would be public indecency.

 

[willmtaylor]

That would be public indecency.

Here's what I'm referring to.
https://www.macrumors.com/2014/10/31/fingerprints-not-protected-by-fifth-amendment/
(Indecent, indeed.)

 

[fitshaced]

Here's what I'm referring to.
https://www.macrumors.com/2014/10/31/fingerprints-not-protected-by-fifth-amendment/
(Indecent, indeed.)

Yes, I know what you are referring to. But you can't have someone touching his wife's 'lowers' in court.

 

[willmtaylor]

Yes, I know what you are referring to. But you can't have someone touching his wife's 'lowers' in court.

Furthermore, the iPhone is only 8-9 years old, and Siri the same, so there are other issues to consider here as well.

 

[fitshaced]

Furthermore, the iPhone is only 8-9 years old, and Siri the same, so there are other issues to consider here as well.

Can't do peek and pop now without feeling very dirty.

 

[willmtaylor]

What's other issue mate did you notice?

Who are you talking to? What does that mean?

Please try again.

 

[Savor]

He will be touching his wife more times per day than husbands do to their wives in a year.

 

[Ulenspiegel]

I wonder whether he keeps "her" on vibrate all the time...