Married Life - Step on in to the Other Side

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Cleverboy, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Cleverboy macrumors 65816

    Cleverboy

    Joined:
    May 25, 2007
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    Pocket Universe, nth Dimensional Complex Manifold
    #1
    Ok, so... my wedding is this weekend. Saturday the 13th. Big day. We've probably goofed up just about everything there was to goof-up, but the show must go on. Problem is, my fiance and I pretty much consider this whole "event" a formality, and would just as soon preferred just going to the court house and tying the knot... but family... there's another story. Gotta make some memories.

    How many people prowling around these boards are married? Anything you would have done differently? Any words of wisdom for turning the page on my bachelorhood?

    Out of all the things that haven't quite gone right (sending out invitations late, changing groomsmen, ripped dresses, family fueds, and so forth), the one thing I'm hoping I can pull off is serenading my bride during our dance. My pal just finished mixing the song together from my furious "hummings" of a song I've had in my head forever about meeting that special someone. I still have to tap the DJ for a cordless mike and slip him a CD, but I'm thinking... barring laryngitis or a particularly poor one-time performance, I'm thinking everything's gonna work out.

    Anyone else try anything crazy special? My best man serenaded his wife during their wedding, so I'm stealing his idea... hope my collar doesn't get too tight. I'm hoping no one expects me to do the Cha-Cha-Slide.

    GULP.

    ~ CB
     
  2. scotthayes macrumors 68000

    scotthayes

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    #2
    Married life is fantastic (well second time around it is :D )

    Just remember one thing on Saturday... IT IS YOUR DAY... not your family's day, not your friend's day but a day for you and your wife...



    Enjoy it and have fun
     
  3. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #3
    Oh congrats. I'll echo scotthayes' comments. This is your party. Enjoy.

    And yeah, married here (a same-sex one to boot) :)
     
  4. iShater macrumors 604

    iShater

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2002
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    #4
    Yep!

    We are doing well, even though we hit rough patches early in our marriage, but we are going on 7+ years, so we survived ;)

    We were late to our wedding, cause the limo was late, got stuck in traffic, and ended up having the photo session after, when we were already exhausted :eek:

    I hate being on camera, so I honestly haven't dared watch the full wedding video yet :eek: :p
     
  5. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #5
    Take plenty of pictures, 'cuz it'll be a big blur. I remember being pissed because we had spent a decent amount of time finding this delicious cake, and then I don't remember even tasting it when I got a slice.

    One thing we did which was really fun was to buy a bunch of those disposable cameras and put a couple on each table to let people take their own shots with. A lot of the pictures were crap, but we also got a bunch of really cool candid shots that we wouldn't have otherwise seen. It was kind of a separate storyline that paralleled the official photos, but was quite different.

    It's your day (the two of you), so enjoy it. Don't let family or friends stress you out. You'll be stressed enough already. And make sure to raid the booze stash before you leave so you'll have a couple of nice bottles to celebrate with that night.
     
  6. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #6
    Been married 10 years and it seems just like yesterday we got married. I remember standing at the altar and seeing my wife in her wedding gown for the first time. It still makes my heart beat faster:D Enjoy it, make sure there are lots of pictures because like others have said it will go by in blur.

    Congratulations, and best wishes to you and your bride. I hope you have a wonderful life together.
     
  7. kavika411 macrumors 6502a

    kavika411

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Location:
    Alabama
    #7
    Congratulations. Sounds like you guys are doing it just right.

    To answer your question about doing something crazy, my wife and I danced to "Let Down" by Radiohead as our main slow dance together. In Alabama, at the most conservative venue in the state, that's pretty ****ing crazy.

    Have a great weekend, and good luck with the serenade.

    EDIT:

    I do have some very practical, useful advice. Your buddies and family will be asking you at the various events this weekend whether there is anything they can do. The answer is YES. Whether it be getting you or your fiance a drink, grabbing you're mail while you're gone, sending a command to a photographer, whatever, let them do it for you. They mean it when they offer to help, and you will need the help.
     
  8. skunk macrumors G4

    skunk

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Location:
    Republic of Ukistan
    #8
    For me, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
    And it still does, thirty one years later.
    Go for it.
    :)
     
  9. NT1440 macrumors G4

    NT1440

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Location:
    Hartford, CT
    #9
    i dont have any suggestions as im 17, but congratulations on the marriage, good luck! :D
     
  10. skunk macrumors G4

    skunk

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Location:
    Republic of Ukistan
    #10
    An original wish, but a little too graphic, I feel.
     
  11. NT1440 macrumors G4

    NT1440

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Location:
    Hartford, CT
    #11
    oh skunk:rolleyes:


    :p
     
  12. SMM macrumors 65816

    SMM

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Location:
    Tiger Mountain - WA State
    #12
    Keep in mind - all the wedding/reception planning is over when it starts. Then it is time not to fret, but to simply enjoy yourselves. Serve lots of alcohol, it creates the great festive mood you probably want to achieve. Do your best to keep things from feeling too structured. Let it be loose and unstructured. Make people wake up the next morning thinking, wow what a good time. If it is with a girl/guy they only met yesterday, so much the better.

    My wife and I did all our own planning. We knew the ceremony should be the low-part of the whole affair (We both dislike having to listen to a minister/priest drone on and on). So, we hired a minister, who was a 'wedding hit-man' and told him 5 minutes max. If we went any longer, there would be no tip. He understood, and also got his tip.

    One of the challenges is, you have to merge two groups; your family/friends, and your spouses. At the reception, do not have many chairs. They should mainly be for the elderly. You want the other people to socialize and mix. Again, alcohol is really important, unless you are a non-drinking lot.

    My wedding day was the chief event of my life. Not normally a smiler, I had a grin on my face all day and night, which just would not go away. The next day, we received so many phone calls and 'drop byes' from family and friends, telling us what a fun time they had. Two couples met there, who were soon married, which are still together and dear friends.

    This is your day. Enjoy it. Do not fret if everything does not go as planned. No one really cares. Show them the best time you can, and that is what they will remember. It is a wonderful feeling to see so many people having a good, as they send you into a remarkably journey. And, my wife is still the beautiful lass I married 23 years ago. I hope you will have the same fortune.
     
  13. Legolamb macrumors 6502a

    Legolamb

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Location:
    North of where I'd like to be
    #13
    OOh, how romantic. Congrats to both of you!!!
    But you know it's never about the groom; it's about the bride. And it's really about her dress.
    You will not eat or remember eating anything during the wedding. If you're smart, you should not have to remember drinking too much.
    You will have some people complain about some minor detail or slight. Ignore them.
    No matter how your singing voice is, you will have your bride and guests crying shamelessly at your romantic soul.
    And unless you are really warped, you won't be posting here until at least late next week.;)
     
  14. Melrose Suspended

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    #14
    Good one. I appreciate your deadpan delivery mate :D

    I'm not married yet either, but I hear it's all the rage. Congratulations!

    For some weird reason, this just reminded me of a Winston Churchill quote: "When you're going through hell, keep going." I guess in other words, I hope you and your bride have few problems, but if or when they come - work them out. You'll be stronger in the end for it.
     
  15. Cleverboy thread starter macrumors 65816

    Cleverboy

    Joined:
    May 25, 2007
    Location:
    Pocket Universe, nth Dimensional Complex Manifold
    #15
    Thanks everybody! Going through rehearsal yesterday, I checked all the messages from my phone. Definitely gave me a full heart reading all the comments.

    My favorite quote for moments of decision: "Once more, into the breach, dear friends, once more." - Henry IV.

    We've a postponed honeymoon, so I'll be rumbling around next week. Until then, I suspect I'll be shot should my eyes gaze too long upon my trusty iFriend.

    Thanks, again.

    ~ CB
     
  16. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #16
    Don't forget to update your avatar. You need to include a picture of Cindy Vortex now!
     
  17. yrsonicdeath macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    #17
    You'll have to let us all know how it went. I'm getting married in one month! I'm pretty excited.
     
  18. CorvusCamenarum macrumors 65816

    CorvusCamenarum

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Location:
    Birmingham, AL
    #18
    You do realize your 5th, 11th, and 16th anniversaries will be on Friday the 13th? ;)
     
  19. spikespike macrumors member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2007
    #19
    Ministers get tipped? That somehow seems...wrong.
     
  20. thechidz macrumors 68000

    thechidz

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    Location:
    New York City
  21. yrsonicdeath macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    #21
    I was thinking the same thing...
     
  22. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago, Illinois
    #22
    Not married (gay), but came close to living with somebody once. We had been together 5 years and then he decided his new boyfriend was alcohol and drugs. Saw him through 2 stints of rehab before I finally left him. I've had 2 two-year relationships since then and several hour-long ones. :) I can take them or leave them.

    I'll settle down someday, now just isn't he time. And once the law allows, I'm sure I'll get married at some point.
     
  23. Scepticalscribe Contributor

    Scepticalscribe

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2008
    Location:
    The Far Horizon
    #23
    Congratulations. May the pair of you have a great and happy long life together, and good luck to you both.

    Advice would be to enjoy the day yourselves, and to take time for yourselves to enjoy the day and address your needs and special wishes. It is your day, not anyone else's, so take the time to enjoy it and savour it while it's happening. While friends and relatives may need to be humoured a bit, don't forget yourselves.
    Cheers
     
  24. Nicolecat macrumors 6502a

    Nicolecat

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    #24
    Oooo...

    Yes, unfortunately a wedding normally is a formality.
    Looking back...If I could do it again, it would just be close family on a beach with an acoustic guitar...but I can't.

    The best advice was given to my husband and I about a month out from the wedding...and now I tell everyone I can.

    You can have a perfect wedding, or you can have a fun wedding.

    The decision is the easy part...but with perseverance, you can make it yours.
    We chose to have a fun wedding aside from everything that can and will go wrong.
    Laugh off as much as you can, drink up your moments together...and let everyone around you be the whitenoise that perfects your momentous day together. :D
     
  25. Nicolecat macrumors 6502a

    Nicolecat

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    #25
    Oh yes, things can go wrong...

    Family can be a bugger...my mom was upset at me for not wanting to have the wedding where they now live (which I don't and never will consider home). My dad set a budget that even the most redneck person wouldn't be able to enjoy...So, alot came out of my own pocket. Not to even mention paying my own way through college...(we won't even go there)...etc, etc.

    I also suggest nobody finish signing on a house the day before the wedding...(considering there is rehearsal dinner and other important things going on...aside from ripping your hair out for being late to everything).

    Double & triple check that your wedding venue hasn't double-booked on you...yes, even the more prestigious places can and will forget they cashed your check first.

    Make sure that all wedding party has paid for and picked up their respective suits/dresses. We had one groomsman not show because he was stuck out of town (nothing you can do about that)...I also never had one of my bridesmaids pay me back for her gown (which I so generously paid for ahead of time because they weren't going to be available to order later....sticky subject)

    The pastor that had been giving us premarital counseling...because the original venue double booked and we didn't find out until a month before set date, after invitations went out...had to have emergency back surgery because nerves were pressing on his vocal cords.
    So, the one person that helped us in our time of need was unable to share that day with us. My, now husband, met the guy who married us 2 min. before walking to the front of the church. I don't even remember his name...it's on the marriage certificate.

    There is soooo much that can and will go wrong...so, those words of advice meant everything to us.

    Then again, you could always just smile knowing that you didn't have any of those things go awry...bask in knowing that. :D

    Feel better yet?
     

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