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More girl questions...

lamina

lamina

macrumors 68000
Original poster
Mar 9, 2006
1,757
69
Niagara
Ok.

I'm the guy who broke up with his girlfriend 2 weeks ago.

A lot of the reason we broke up was because I was having feelings for another girl. When me and girl A broke up, I expressed to girl B my feelings for her, to which she replied that she also had similar feelings to me. One catch: Girl B haD a boyfriend at the time, but her mates were telling me how she wanted to break up with him because things weren't working too well, and because she had feelings for me. She had also expressed to me in the past that she doesn't want to be with this guy.

Fast forward to yesterday night. We went to the states for a booze smuggle and dinner. She explained to me how she broke up with her boyfriend on Monday. Of course I'm elated, since I've had feelings for this girl since about September. We've spent a lot of time together the past 6 months.

Tonight is her roommates birthday party. It's a beach theme. I am relatively fit and will be wearing a pair of board shorts and an 'undershirt' (aka wife beater aka spousal abuser shirt).

My question is this... how long should I wait to make a move? She was clearly not emotionally in a relationship with this guy for the past couple months. I don't plan on tonight, since we will both be drinking, and that is definitely not an appropriate situation to make a move.

Another bit of information... she is going to Panama City in Florida for spring break next Friday. Should I wait until she gets back?
 
Put on your best cologne, check your teeth, check your hair, and make your move. You are a man, let the world hear you roar.
 
siurpeeman said:
why not tonight? just do it before either of you gets drunk.
Click to expand...

Or dont get drunk and see if she slips up and comes on to you. ;)

Just sit back, stay sober, and let this night pass. That way you can see how she reacts to you very slightly coming onto her and see if she bites. You will be able to see if she is interested without taking advantage of her. Then the ball is pretty much in your court to decide when and where you make your move (when she isnt drunk).

When you take a 'back seat' on a situation you get to see things you wouldnt normally see and you can plan things out instead of going in full tilt and screwing things up.

Thats my advice anyhoo. :) If its meant to be then it will eventually happen. ;)
 
i.) why are you telling us that you gonna be wearing wife beater and shorts and you are "relatively fit"? :confused:

ii.) just go w/ the flow. it's really not that hard to sense if it's the right moment to make a move or not, especially with someone that you have talked about your feelings for each other already.

iii.) show her respect - some gals need time between relationships. if you need to be sober to keep things straight, cut down your alcohol consumption.

iv.) you dig her, she digs you. there's nothing to lose.

good luck and have an awesome time!
 
BiTurboMunkie said:
i.) why are you telling us that you gonna be wearing wife beater and shorts and you are "relatively fit"? :confused:
Click to expand...

You're right eh.

I just kinda posted this last minute in excitement.

Guess how we met.

K times up.

I was walking into my cognitive psychology class (late) in mid-September, and I saw a pretty little girl sitting there.

I sat beside her, pulled out my 17" PowerBook. She turns to me and says, and I quote...
"How do you keep that thing on your lap?"

That split second I knew she had a Rev A 15" MBP.

Oh, how Apple brings people together.

Thanks for the advice.

PS: I will be a gentleman, I don't think tonight is the night. Shes gotta 'teach me statistics' this weekend, so we'll see how it goes then. As for now I'm just gonna chill... maybe. Depends how it goes tonight.
 
MacboobsPro said:
Or dont get drunk and see if she slips up and comes on to you. ;)

Just sit back, stay sober, and let this night pass. That way you can see how she reacts to you very slightly coming onto her and see if she bites. You will be able to see if she is interested without taking advantage of her. Then the ball is pretty much in your court to decide when and where you make your move (when she isnt drunk).

When you take a 'back seat' on a situation you get to see things you wouldnt normally see and you can plan things out instead of going in full tilt and screwing things up.
Click to expand...

I'd go with Boob's plan. Don't just get drunk with her right away - you'll mess it up.
 
Keep this in mind and try not to let it tear you up on the inside like it did to me:

She just broke up with her boyfriend of however long [longer = worse] and is going to Florida for Spring Break........ yeah. I'd say do what you can NOW. About 90% of all girls who go on these sort of trips are going to be getting extremely drunk doing extremely stupid things with their drunk friends in a place where 100% of all the guys are trying to take advantage of them.

Unless of course you can deal with the huge possibility that she'll get crazy and do something she'll regret and still get in a relationship with her afterwards then go for it.

I probably sound like a huge ass to most but I'm dead serious. I just think of myself as old fashioned :)
 
Let's take advantage of the drunk American girl, GREAT IDEA! Way to be on top of the moral spectrum guys.... I just hope you stop and think for a second if you were this girl's boyfriend, and that happened to you, how would you feel? When everyone does their walks through this trail of life, let's try to be a little more respectful toward the others.

I don't want sound like a preacher, but even if she was coming on to you, you should probably let her go. There are plenty more fish in the sea, why be someone's bad day?
 
So.

I'm back.

Quite the interesting evening. I actually thought of you guys tonight.

Anyway, great, awesome night, good party, but a few of her 'guests' had to be forcefully removed. Some yuppie threatened to sue me for $250,000.

We had some good talks tonight, but we were both busy talking to everyone and making new friends... until these guys wouldn't get out of her room, which was considered off limits. Some douche started playing her guitar (who didn't play guitar) and I gave him a little lesson, then kicked everyone out, which is when yuppie Lance Bass wannabe got tough with me. Forcefully removed him and his friends and so the party continued.

Just left now, she gave me a big hug and said she'd talk to me soon.

I have a good feeling, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Oh, and as for her going away, even if something did happen on the trip, shes a virgin, and from what she told me, I don't expect anything too spectacular to happen during her break. Even if it did, I feel that we are at the distance where I can sort of not care... she's not that kind of girl to begin with (as far as I know).

But again, even if something happened on the break, we're at a distance where it really wouldn't matter to me. Heck, if I was on spring break, I'd probably have a good time myself.

We'll take it from here... I'll probably go there tomorrow sometime to help with clean-up, if not she has to teach me stuff this weekend.

Thanks so much for all your input, you have no idea how many times I considered it tonight.

Mike
 
Thanks Patrick,

I feel pretty good about what went on tonight. I kicked some yuppie ass who was disrespecting the girl I like, and I'm kind enough to come back tomorrow to help clean up.

It's a good feeling. Lets hope it goes somewhere.

To those who care, I'll definitely keep you posted.
 
sounds like you're doing everything right; i.e., not pushing it, being helpful, being respectful of her and what she wants.

keep it up and enjoy yourself.
 
lamina said:
I have a good feeling, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Click to expand...

Good. Pretty much sums up my thoughts. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Especially for a girl who [don't know if you mentioned the seriousness of her past relationship] recently broke up.

For example, my girlfriends bestfriend, a seemingly wholesome, kind girl who broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years has turned into a closet-whore. Sleeping around, breaking hearts, ruining past relationships... you know the usual whoreish stuff :p
 
You seem like you know what you're doing, so long as you keep your integrity and be honest to yourself, you should be OK. Don't do anything that'd make you a person with poor sense of honor, as my pappy used say a man is only as good as his integraty.
 
madog said:
For example, my girlfriends bestfriend, a seemingly wholesome, kind girl who broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years has turned into a closet-whore. Sleeping around, breaking hearts, ruining past relationships... you know the usual whoreish stuff :p
Click to expand...

A guy who breaks up with his girl friend, then hooks up with girls at bars would then also be presumably a whore and/or a man with low morals.

In that case, I'd say there are way more man-whores than women whores. I might even have to label myself as such at a certain time in the past in my life.

Also by that standard, you're basically calling a pretty good portion of the 20-24 American population "whores"... and I say 20-24 because that's the bracket of people that I know best.
 
carbonmotion said:
Also by that standard, you're basically calling a pretty good portion of the 20-24 American population "whores"... and I say 20-24 because that's the bracket of people that I know best.
Click to expand...

yeah... most of the guys/gals i know do that.
 
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