Moving Advice Please?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by macduke, Jan 5, 2016.


What should I do?

  1. Get a jump on the market and list the house now

    1 vote(s)
  2. Wait until warm spring weather and see if crazy neighbor goes crazy again and if so, list the house

    1 vote(s)
  3. Try to wait another year, after wife gives birth, to move

    0 vote(s)
  4. Stay the remaining 4-5 years we plan to live in this town

    1 vote(s)
  1. macduke macrumors G3


    Jun 27, 2007
    Central U.S.
    TL;DR: We have a neighbor crazy enough to make us want to move. We have a nice house in a nice area with a nice park. We started a daycare that is getting a little bit big. We're only planning to live in this town another five years, and would have to switch from a 15 year mortgage to 30 year to afford a bigger house in a nicer area and I hate debt. Help please?

    This is a little long, but I've got a really tricky situation with lots of complex parts. Please help!

    Last year a new neighbor moved in. She is fairly insane. Her mom won the lottery and bought her the house. She's into a lot of hard drugs, she curses and yells at people on the street all the time. She brings around a lot of unsavory people—people she has personally told me are former drug dealers—which I think might still be current drug dealers. She moved in late May, and from August through November she had the police at her house on an average of once per week—and a few of those were calls from us. Our houses on this street are fairly close together, and we don't have fences. She piles trash in her backyard, and bags of dirty old clothes that are ripped open. We've had several break-ins on our quiet street since she moved in. She recently had her kids taken away and has calmed down considerably. There isn't much activity next door, but then again it's also winter and they're the type to keep the garage door open during all warm months, running around screaming F-bombs outside.

    So here's my question: Should we put the house on the market since she has gone quiet?

    Other factors:
    • My wife runs a daycare. The daycare parents were starting to get upset and one of them even called the police. They seem better now, but I'm worried if it starts up again.
    • Our street is otherwise really quiet, and we love the location across the street from a park and surrounded by trees front and back. There's even a walking trail in the woods and playground equipment.
    • The house itself was a good deal and is somewhat new and well contructed. It has a nice bonus room where my office is, and for the price we couldn't find anything in town that beat it.
    • We started the daycare after buying the house, as my wife decided she wanted to stay at home after having our first child in 2014. We started out with four less than one year olds, but now they're all growing up bigger, in addition to my daughter who will be 2. We would like more space for the daycare, like a walkout, as it currently takes up a good chunk of our livable space. We also really need a fence for the kids to run around, and that will be expensive.
    • We're on a 15 year mortgage. We did this so we could quickly build up equity, so we bought a little bit smaller house as a result. So if we sold this spring, we would have enough to put down on a bigger house that costs up to 75% more if we did a 30 year mortgage.
    • My wife could get licensed and take on more than 4 kids if we had a bigger space, which would increase our income and/or pay for a larger house.
    • We are only planning on staying in this town for another five years or so, as we'd like to move back to Kansas City at some point where our family is, but for now I'm really happy with things are with my current job, especially while my kids are little, as it has a good work-life balance.
    • My wife is expecting, so we'll have a second kid and space is already limited. But it's also hard to move while she is pregnant as she gets very sick. She was pregnant last time and it was not ideal.
    • I love the yard at my current place. Lots of big trees with shade in the back, a small creek that sounds nice when it rains, and earlier this last summer I built a pretty nice rock patio that we really enjoy.
    • My driveway is a wreck right now. We had a lot of spalling from ice and ice melt, and I patched it and it looked ok. Then I sealed it and it all went to hell bubbling like crazy. I've had two different professionals try to remove it and they can't. Chemicals and pressure water sandblasting don't work. So I'm worried the really ugly driveway would turn off buyers, even though the house itself is great.
    So would I be crazy to go from a 15 year mortgage to a 30 year on a bigger house that I would only live in for another five years or so, especially since we've only been living in this house for three years and our PMI will drop off later this year? I mean, it would be nice to have more space and get away from the crazy lady, but what if she moves? She had mentioned before things started to blow up that she'd rather live out in the country away from everyone else, and she also mentioned that she grew up only a few miles from here so lots of people from her past always creep in and she hates that and would really like to not live in town. But on the other hand her mom bought her the house, and I think it's in her mom's name, so it's kinda up to her. Who would leave a free nice house?

    I just feel kinda bad for abandoning this place. We really like it and it suited our nice family, but our needs have kinda changed. Really it was the neighbor that pushed things to a breaking point, and since she's quiet now I'm hopeful that someone else would be more likely to buy it. But is that unethical? I feel like I'm pawning it off onto someone else. I mean the house itself is in great condition, and I've made some nice small additions and cleared out a lot of the brush in the back yard. So it's a good property. But we can sometimes hear her yelling F-bombs while inside our own house, and even when outside we can hear her cursing inside with the windows closed. But like I said, she's been quiet for about one and a half months now, and I think she might be getting therapy. I'm so conflicted. I also really hate moving. We barely moved when I was growing up and I feel like that's all I've done since college. The driveway is a big pain point, especially as I'm kind of a perfectionist (I'm a UI/UX designer and photographer).

    Please help with any advice!
  2. weatherwax macrumors member


    Jan 1, 2016
    Baltimore, MD
    If you are planning on moving within the next 5 years, the situation must be really awful for you to consider adding in another move in between. I think you've outlined a lot of the big reasons against it financially, so really it's up to you whether or not the neighbor issues outweigh the financial costs. Would selling the current house and finding a place to rent be an option? What's the breakeven horizon where you live?
  3. kupkakez macrumors 68000


    Apr 4, 2011
    I wouldn't buy another house knowing in 5 years you want to go elsewhere. I would either stay put and try to deal with it the best you can or sell the place and see about renting a home and stockpiling cash for your move and purchase a house in your new location.

    I just recently sold my house in a "hot market" and it was still a pain in the ass. I couldn't imagine trying to sell 2 houses within the span of 5 years and retaining my sanity.

    TL;DR either stay put or sell it and rent until you move to KC, just my 2 cents though!
  4. D.T. macrumors G3


    Sep 15, 2011
    Vilano Beach, FL
    First, sorry, wow, that's a tough situation.

    I'm assuming your wife will out of the day care business for X months (some time pre-post pregnancy)? I'd factor that in to more financial burden. You said a larger place would give you more revenue potential with being able to have more kids in your day care service? Have you done the math, i.e., additional revenue vs. additional house cost?

    I've got to tell you, in my mind, having peace, less stress, no concerns over theft (or worse) is worth any cost, however, if it's JUST that one person, I certainly wouldn't take on burden (everything else not worthwhile). Call her mother, talk to the neighbors, call some people :)
  5. macduke thread starter macrumors G3


    Jun 27, 2007
    Central U.S.
    Didn't really think of that, but here's the deal. I live in a massive college town. Most of the rentals are geared towards that. It's really hard to find something decent. We rented when we first moved here in 2012 and it was awful trying to find something. We eventually did but it was pretty crap. After our first year lease we had to get out, especially with the pregnant wife. We looked into renting but the few "family sized" units in town but their cost vs owning didn't seem very favorable. I don't recall seeing anything in town that could house us and a daycare. The daycare is kinda non-negotiable for my wife since she had a change of heart after our daughter was born and had to stay home. She worked with autistic kids before that, so that wouldn't really work for her to work from home somewhere when her job before was all travel, often into very rural locations far away helping people.

    Well, we could always put off the move back home. I mean, it's just something we've wanted to do eventually. We would probably do it after our last baby (currently in my wife lol) is old enough to start school, since she would then be looking for work again. She's on really good terms with her old employer and they're opening a KC location at some point soon I think. I see my current job puttering out around that time (limited advancement opportunities). But for now my job is very secure, a mix of several challenging things but is very family friendly.

    My wife is only taking two weeks of maternity leave unless she needs more for a cesarean or something. Our first child went very smoothly–only a couple hours of labor and home the next evening (early morning birth though). We're afraid of losing daycare moms if we go beyond that. We've got a fairly substantial savings to cover things if we need it, but I'm very tight with our budget—especially with long term planning.

    As for cost, it should come out to about the same since we would go from a 15 year on a smaller house to a 30 year on a bigger house. Less equity building, but it might be worth it to remove the friction in our lives and the chaos next door.

    We've involved the police plenty and the public nuisance officer. Her mom seems to also be slightly crazy (big surprise there) but what makes that situation dicey is that we technically have the same employer, even though we never interact and work miles apart. She kept working after winning the money. It was "only" a few million. So at least she has some work ethic compared to her daughter.


    Maybe I'll give crazy pants (my name for her) next door a couple more months to figure out what's going on over there. If she was gone we could probably make due. I'd feel better about investing in a fence. Some of our daycare moms have been pushing for that so their kids can run around more than just on our deck/patio area. I could also put in a closet under the stairs to make room for storing things, mount the TV to the wall to clear up floor space, get a smaller couch to make room, and have a pantry installed in the kitchen. Yard is smallish, so with our Midwest pricing probably $6-7k total for all of it, and it still wouldn't be ideal, but doable for five more years. Maybe we need to hire a professional organizer haha.

    I really appreciate everyone's responses. Thank you.
  6. citizenzen macrumors 65816

    Mar 22, 2010
    So build a fence.

    And make it a good one.
  7. macduke thread starter macrumors G3


    Jun 27, 2007
    Central U.S.
    To those that replied, thanks for the feedback. We decided to wait it out a little, but crazy pants next door has kind of begun to awake from her slumber? We are smelling more drugs, and the key is during daycare hours which she said she wouldn't do any more. But why should I have believed her anyway? At least, for now, she still seems to be quieter (mostly) since her kids are still taken away. But we thought about it for a while and decided for the most part we like our town and wouldn't mind living her a bit longer than we planned. So we got an agent and met with them this past weekend. They are an amazing team. I'm really good at sniffing out BS and I didn't even get a whiff with these guys. They seem smart as a whip and asked amazing questions—questions that get around the actual question and at the heart of the matter. They came with separate plans each (which I thought was cool) so they could give their own unique perspectives and build a plan together with us. They're the top team in town but they charge the same as everyone else. They also have this crazy cool 3D camera that takes photos like 600 times per second in every direction and makes a 3d google earth and street view of the inside of our house, and the company that makes it is partnered with Oculus. Insane!

    So our plan is to take our 15 year mortgage and turn it into a 30 year mortgage on a bigger house that will better suit our daycare. This is actually a huge relief to us and we found out from our daycare parents that they really love the idea. Many of them, turns out, live pretty far from us and the places we're looking are even closer to them. They just love my wife as their provider so much that they are willing to drive for it. We will probably raise rates in the next year (not much), but are planning to invest a lot more into the daycare, and my wife can use the space to better plan activities and lesson plans to make it more of an advanced thing. With the extra space, she can also get licensed and take on more children, which will increase our income and somewhat negate the loss of equity building that a 30 year mortgage provides. We really feel good about it and optimistic for the first time in a long time. Again, thanks! Hopefully we can get it sold quickly.

Share This Page